(Closed) NWR: Bees with Anxiety- How Do You Deal?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018


Yoga With Adriene specifically.  It’s a game changer.

Post # 3
214 posts
Helper bee

Therapy. I know it’s something that gets thrown about a lot on these boards but it has made a massive difference for me. When I graduated university I essentially had a mental breakdown and was incapable of leaving the house. I got put on meds so I could leave the house and then therapy to deal with the underlying issues. 

That was a few years ago and I eventually reached a point where I was able to start working and wean off the meds. I’ve been back once when I was struggling to find another job and may have to go back soon due to work related stress again. 

In the meantime, the things that help with my anxiety most right now is exercise (I do one class which really pushes my limits and I’m too busy concentrating on breayhing to think of anything else) and talking things out. My fiancé is great at listening but the bees on here too have been really helpful when I posted a few days ago about my ring guilt. Distracting myself with games or crafts has helped a lot in the past too.

On the subject of medication, I wouldn’t worry too much about the side effects of you do try them, but make sure you give them time. Personally the first month or two was a bit rough but once I got used to them the only lasting side effects I had were some vivid dreams and struggling to keep weight on (which honestly was a great excuse to eat a bit more cake).

Post # 4
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I also have anxiety! I do take medication which helps but I’ve found what’s most helpful is to try to take at least an hour a week and do something I REALLY enjoy and that shakes me out of my routine a little bit…for me that’s pole dancing (it sounds crazy, I know). I also keep incessant to do lists which helps keep the planning anxiety in check. Another thing I try to do when I’m getting really bad is to step AWAY from the computer, stop looking at wedding websites, work email, etc., whatever is causing the anxiety in that moment. 

Post # 5
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

This might sound obvious, but having a partner that understands my anxiety is a real and is willing to listen has been a game changer for me. I let DH know when I’m feeling overwhelmed and we talk. He listens to me without judgment and asks what he can do. A lot of times there’s nothing he can do, but just sharing with him helps me.

I also second yoga. For me personally I’m an introvert and need solitude to recharge, so working that into my weekly routine helps as well. I think in general figuring out the things that make you feel good and making room in your life for them is important for everyone, but is really helpful in managing anxiety.

Post # 6
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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princessbeec :  Self compassion. I swear it’s the antidote to anything that makes your inner voice go a little crazy. My pure anxiety doesn’t cause me much grief, it’s the thought-sprials and self-criticism and judgement that come with it which really hurt, and I’ve found self compassion to be very helpful in those respects.

I found this ted talk particularly helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4

Good luck!


Post # 7
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Running helps my anxiety, although if I don’t make it out running then I get more anxious at time.

Channel anxiety into a hobby or journal writing. Talk it out with your partner too.

Post # 8
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

I second running! It’s the best thing you can do for your mental health, plus you get a hot bod which is always a mood booster lol.

Post # 10
2170 posts
Buzzing bee

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princessbeec :  I have been having an extremely difficult time handling my anxiety lately. It surged last year while I was trying to work through my failing marriage, got a bit better toward the end of the year when I made the decision to divorce him. Now that I have moved out, my anxiety has resurfaced and is making things extremely difficult at work. I am trying to find a dr I can afford (no ins) and I am seeing a therapist on TalkSpace. 

I try to journal, breathe deeply when needed, work out – recently started using a rowing machine and I find it really fun, I am trying to cut back on my caffiene, eating more vegetables, avoiding as much sugar as I can, and focusing on things that bring me joy. This weekend was being creative. I painted on Saturday, and yesterday I worked on some cat shelves & organized. Self compassion is huge for me. I put such high expectations on myself then judge myself so harshly when I don’t live up to it. I would never do these things to anyone else, so why do I do it to me? 

I’ve named my inner critic Gretel so whenever the anxious & negative thoughts come into my brain, I say (in my head) “Not today Gretel, shut up” or “GO SIT THE DAMN CORNER!” or whatever I need to get through the difficult moment. I also tell myself that my brain lies to me, which has helped me discern when it is telling me lies, and that helps. To know a feeling I have about my actions is just a feeling, it does not define me. (I.E. I feel ashamed but that doesn’t mean I am a bad person) 

I have also started thinking of my past self and future self as though they were my friends. Like, instead of being mad at my past self for saying something dumb, I’ll show compassion as I would if it were my friend who said it. Also, when I am lacking motivation for something, I’ll think about how much it will help my future self and that motivates me to do whatever the task is at hand. 

Its good that your SO understands and is supportive. Hope this helps a little, and good luck.

Post # 11
2170 posts
Buzzing bee

And affirmations have really helped me as well. Difficult to come up with at times, though there are a lot of good articles and guides out there for this. 

Post # 12
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve had anxiety my entire life but was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about a year and a half ago. I really didn’t want to use medication. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with meds, and I completely support anyone who needs or used them. I just haven’t ever had to take medication in my life before and wanted to see how much I could do on my own without it. For me, there are several helpful things. 

1-I have an emotional support animal, which is a cat, and ever since getting her I have noticed WORLDS of difference. 

2-Exercise! It was really hard to get into at first, but my husband has been my gym buddy and super supportive. I’ve noticed on days that I exercise I feel more confident and less anxious, my energy is higher. Yoga is great too!!

3-Eating healthy has been a big deal. When I eat crummy food, my body and mind feel crummy. So I eat a ton of veggies, fruits, and whole foods. We don’t buy processed or prepackaged meals. This also means only one cup of coffee a day because otherwise it spikes my anxiety. I switch to tea after my one cup. 

4-Journaling is helpful. I haven’t done this recently, but I noticed that when I did it seemed to help calm levels of anxiety because I could self reflect. 

5-Finding a hobby you enjoy, for me it’s playing the piano. If I’m anxious in the moment and I’m home, I’ll play. It’s a great distraction and when I’m tired of playing I find my anxiety has often passed. 

6-Faith, which I realize isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. I personally find my strength and confidence mostly in my faith and relationship with God. Prayer has always helped me when moments of anxiousness creep up. 

7- Therapy is great. It helped me feel proactive and I felt validated when having my anxieties, but I was also able to see that there wasn’t anything to be worrying about. 

8- Pacifica, which is an Anxiety app that I use. It is on IOS and possibly android. I use this for in the moment if I’m at work and I feel a panic attack slowly starting to bubble. It really helps take the edge off for the moment. 

Ever since incorporating these things, I’ve seen dramatic improvement. I’m still anxious on a daily basis but I feel like I can live and not just survive anymore. I do think it’s important to acknowledge your triggers.

For example, movie theaters are extremely difficult for me to go to. I instantly begin down my spiral of anxiety and a full blown panic attack always seems to be likely. Before I told my husband that movie theaters were just a trigger for anxiety, I was snappy with him whenever going and obviously didn’t act like myself. He was confused and thought that it was something other than my anxiety. Once explaining it to him, he’s been SO supportive and understanding. We go to matinees and he doesn’t mind if I need to leave the theater for a moment to regain myself. Having a supportive husband who knows and understands me is one of the most important things in my opinion.

I think therapy would be a good idea or journaling for self reflection on what it is that his family triggers in you. Whether it’s something irrational that can’t be fixed or something logical that can be, you should talk to your partner about it. The support or conversations that you can have with him might provide benefit to you in your situation. Unfortunately I’ve noticed that when I don’t try to recognize and confront what it is that’s bothering me, the more it gets to me. If I can point it out, have someone else in my corner with me, when that anxious time comes we are both prepared and both compassionate towards that moment. 

Post # 13
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Not to be a broken record but–therapy. It’s nice to have a person you can unload your feelings on who’s trained to deal with it. Having a third-party person tell you that you’re okay and not the awful human your brain tries to say you are really does make a difference.

In addition to exercise, I’m also going to say put yourself first. Take control and change the things you can to make life better. I was close to a mental breakdown last month due to pressure at my job, and after quitting it I feel so much better. Money is tighter, but I feel calm and at peace.

You obviously can’t choose your in-laws, but I would find someone to talk to so you can control/address your feelings of anxiety towards them. 

Post # 14
283 posts
Helper bee

I’m also a big fan of self care. I try to meditate and take baths regularly and use that time to think about the things that make me anxious, acknowledge their effects on my life and what I can do about them (which is almost always nothing), and then try to let them go. 

I also agree with all the exercise comments! Exercise helps so much with my sleep. When my anxiety is bad, I wake up in the middle of the night with my mind racing and it’s really tough to get back to sleep but I’m a whole lot less likely to wake up at all if I’ve pushed myself physically during the day.


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