Post # 1
These past few weeks have been like a roller coaster and I am just looking for some support from you all because I seriously feel like my life is going crazy. The last week in july was my daughter’s 4th birthday and as some of you may know I was pretty excited/ stressed out- trying to get everything in order. The party went off without a hitch (except we forgot ALL of the hot dogs in the freezer.. oops!). My daughter loved it! She got to ride on ponys and eat cotton candy until her heart’s desire. After the party is where all the turmoil started. Usually after her parties, her father and I bring all the gifts to my moms house and let her open them. I only pick a couple of things (this year I picked 2 dresses) and the rest goes to her father. My Fiance didn’t think it was fair to have everything (she gets tons of gifts) sent to her father’s house because we paid for 75% of the party but he let it go. I enjoy keeping the birthday cards for her so that she can look through them when she gets older. I have done this for the past 3 birthdays. This year her father wanted those too. Fine. I let it go. After all was said and done.. Fiance, my daughter, my best friend who flew in for my daughter’s birthday and I started cleaning up–expecting my daughter’s father to leave. He stayed only to demand that my Fiance and I sit down and have a conversation with him. I told him that we have plans and he said in a threatening tone “WE CAN DO THIS RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT” ..I was shocked to see him talk like this in front of my daughter and I just told him that he needed to leave over and over until he finally stopped bashing me and left. I know my ex is an ass but I have never seen him be an ass in front of my daughter before–anywho. The day after the princess party, Fiance and I took my daughter to disney world (my friend said her friends were in town and wanted to hang out with them)… Turns out that she lied!! lol Fiance arranged for all of my friends (and his) to meet us in disney world where he proposed to me and officially became my Fiance lol. It was amazing.. he gave my daughter a ring too and asked her if she would be part of his family. She walked around the whole day saying ‘you know im engag-ed too!’.. it was so sweet. I am tearing up just thinking about it. After the festivities, we came back home. My ex 2 days before my Fiance went back to LA comes over unnanounced and demands to have a sit down conversation. He throws a piece of paper at me..(it is school info for my daughter. I asked a judge for permission for my daughter to be able to be rellocated with me to LA and he denied it because her father is in FL and he wants her here..FL laws).. He asks me if I am going to pay for her after care costs because I won’t be here to pick her up.. and tells me that because my Fiance added her onto his insurance that the medicare that he has for her doesn’t cover her anymore. We tried to explain that we can’t drop her from the policy because then when she comes to cali for vacations and summers that she needs to be covered. He was very angry and aggressive the whole time. I thank god that my daughter wasn’t there at the time. My ex was the most upset at my daughter calling Fiance daddy number 2. My daughter is 4 years old and has known Fiance since she was 1. She loves him and he loves her. I told my ex that I am not going to discourage or incourage her to do anything or call him anything. I am going to let her do what she feels comfortable doing. At this point EX is in a rage. He starts calling me selfish and a bad mother..saying things like.. I don’t care about my daughter etc etc. I stood up and told him that he needed to go. he kept talking and all I said was he needed to go. We all got up.. Fiance went outside with the dog to find a bone he had given him (but I think it was in order to not punch the EX in his face..)..I turned my back to EX and at some point he had picked up a razor blade from my counter that Fiance and I were using to wrap a gift for my mom… and thats when EX yells ‘ I am going to F-ing kill you’ and I turn around like WTF?! And he cuts me across the forehead with the blade.. I had no clue what happened.. until I saw EX drop the blade.. All I felt was burning across my face.. And almost instantly I heard Fiance run in the door. and EX running out. Fiance then comes up to me to see if I am ok then advises me to go to the cops. I picked up the blade and put it in a bag and took it to the station and file a report. The next day I file a restraining order and am granted 100% custody of my daughter. Except, I have no idea where she is… EX was arrested and bailed/bonded out the same day.. Turns out that he dropped her off at a friend’s house.. then his sister picked her up from there.. in another county. I spent the whole day trying to locate and get my daughter back… Thank god I have her now. But now I have to go to a hearing for the restraining order and EX’s lawyer filed something that I have to go to tomorrow asking for custody back… I am so scared to see him in court… like… my hands are shaking as I write this.. I guess I am just looking for some support from you bees…
Post # 3
Oh, my gosh, how awful! I hope that with full custody you can take your daughter to CA with you and get your ex out of your and your daughter’s lives for good! *hugs*
Post # 4
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry you have to go through all of that =(
I know it’s a crazy and stressful time for you…. but just keep focused on the future you will have with you Fiance and daughter. You did absolutely the right thing by calling the cops and filing a restraining order… and it sounds like the courts are doing the right thing by granting you full custody. Hopefully you will have a future that doesn’t need to involve him.
You and your family are in my prayers… I hope everything works out ok.
Post # 5
Oh my god. I am SO sorry you are going through this. Your ex is a nutcase!
Like Amaryllis said… at least the silver lining of this is that you now have 100% custody and you don’t have to deal with him or his BS anymore. I wish you the best of luck dealing with this situation.
Post # 6
@MrsNeutrino: HOLY SHIT!!!! ((HUGS))) I am so, so sorry that this happened to you, but so glad your daughter wasn’t there to witness this. So glad you got her back too. As horrible as it was that he did this, at least now you shouldn’t have an issue taking her to LA with you. Keep us updated, and hopefully you will have a family member or your Fiance go with you to court so you aren’t alone
Post # 7
Oh hon, I am so so so sorry!!!! Do you have a lawyer of your own? If not, call your local domestic violence shelter; they should be able to hook you up with a legal advocate to accompany you to court. It’s not as good as your own lawyer (assuming s/he’s good), but it’s better than nothing. If you don’t know how to find the number for your local shelter, call 800-799-SAFE (7233), and they should be able to help.
Post # 8
Well, the good part is you filed the report and have evidence that he not only threatened you but was intent on carrying through with it. Fingers crossed he DOES NOT get your daughter back!
Is there a way you and your Fiance could get a lawyer? If so, definitely do that. Having someone who knows the ins and outs is a major bonus.
Good luck and I’m sooo sooo sorry you’ve had to go through all this! Hope you have a quick recovery and can get away with your daughter free-and-clear!!!
Post # 9
omg i am so so sorry that you’re going through this – my eyes are teary for you and your daughter, and im just glad for you that you have her back and you weren’t seriously injured
keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that the custody hearing goes well and you, your Fiance and your sweet little girl can heal from this
Post # 10
@mightywombat: gives you the best advice. If you can’t afford to have a lawyer accompany you, an advocate can be a big help.
Your ex just showed his true self and as sad and scary as it was, you are most likely to retain full custody with him likely getting supervised visitation at best.
Just continue to be strong. You are the parent your daughter needs and the court will see it that way too.
Post # 11
OMG!!!! I am so glad you have 100% custody now of her. That is just so crazy! I am so sorry!
Post # 12
omfg. i hope you’re okay and the court proceedings go well (and in your favor). what a shitbag! we’re here for you <3
Post # 13
@Amaryllis: the 100% full custody is temporary. I am going to court tomorrow because EX’s lawyer filed an emergency hearing asking for custody back. Apparently he is claiming that I am making everything up! Thank GOD Fiance was there and saw everything.. this way it isn’t my word against his you know?
@zippylef: He def is a nut case! He has shoved me and been really stalkerish when we were together but never anything like this.. and the 100% is temporary… unfortunately.. and I can’t take her out of the state.
@MrsSl82be: Well the custody case is over. Unfortunately I am pretty dumb towards the legal system. I doubt that they will reopen the case.. but who knows. I hope the judge won’t think it is best for my daughter to be with such an aggressive person. But you never know.. the judge only sees 1% of a person in court.. the other 99% of horrible he never gets to see…
@mightywombat: thanks so much for the info. I do have a lawyer.. thank god.
@Zinzerena: thanks.. I really hope so too. I have already recovered..physically.. Just a small scar now.. I don’t know if I will ever recover mentally unless he is in jail and I know he can’t get to me again. A lady from the DA’s office said that florida is a proprosecution state..and that I would only need to go to court if I was subpenaed (however you spell that).. I really hope the state can lock him away…
@Lovebird724: thank you so much. I really appreciate it…
Post # 14
@julies1949: He did show his true self, I can’t say that I didn’t already know this was him though. Hopefully the courts don’t believe that i am just… making all of this up. I can’t imagine how they could.. but the courts have blindsighted me before…
@Crisark: thanks.. even though its temp.. I am really thankful. Mostly just to be with my daughter.. but also the no contact with EX… no more nasty emails and voicemails..
@elliestan: I am fully recovered.. and thank you 🙂
Post # 15
@MrsNeutrino: As a mom, I couldn’t imagine going through this and I’m so, SO sorry you have had to… *HUGS* That is unbelievably scary. Your Fiance sounds like a good guy and at least he is there to love you and support both you and your daughter. I don’t have any good advice unfortunately, but my heart was breaking toward the end of your story. I hope things work out for the best!
Post # 16
@MrsNeutrino: Oh good. And your lawyer will be representing you at these hearings, I hope?
I’m sure your lawyer is on it, but it occurs to me that the police should have documented the cut on your head. That evidence, along with the razor you brought, could be useful.