- 9 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Let me preface this. I’ve dealt with a lot of hurt, pain and just plain old shit in my lifetime. For years on end, life just sucked, I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But things have changed, in less than 90 days I am marrying the mad of my dreams, he’s got a great job, that will only lead to bigger and better, we are planning an amazing honeymoon and we upgrade my ring. This has been the best year of my life so far and I only see things getting better. I am happy overall, but today is another story.
Today is the two year anniversary of the death of my best friend. She would have been my Maid/Matron of Honor if she was still alive, she was an amazing person and taken way too soon. I miss her all the time, but days like today and her birthday are especially painful. Yesterday, I spoke to my sister who was upset about preparing to put her 14 year old dog to sleep. She was with us since she was a funny little puppy but now is old and sick. I didn’t get much sleep last night, I was stressed an Fiance was being a bed hog, my stomach has been in knots all week, I grabbed a broken water bottle this morning and it leaked thru my bag and there was a crazy man screaming obscenities on the train. Death is whats bothering me, but the last few do add to my mental state. My plan was to keep my head low during my workday, get out of here quickly and wallow in my depression tonight.
So, I get in to work today, and my coworker comes over and asked if I got the message. Automatically, I say, “SHIT” and bang my head on the printer. The coworker that does the same job as me, isn’t coming in, or in other words, I didn’t really need to come in till 1 because I’m gonna be here till 8. I get to my desk, check my cell phone, work phone and email, and no message, this isn’t the first time it’s happened. I went over and found my coworker talking to one of our peers and blew off a little steam, ok I was being dramatic, but I’m upset. One of them responded with “His kid has cancer again, that trumps whatever you’re feeling.” I feel sorry for him, I really do, but these people are not affected by his absence or his lack of communication. They can feel sympathy, empathy and wonder what they can do for him, but their responsibilities do not change, and they still get to go home on time. I was really taken back, I’m not comparing situations, I’m just emotional
I am very sympathetic to him and his family, ever since I got the call not this past New Year’s Day, but the one prior, that his daughter was sick and he would be out for at least a week, I’ve done everything I can to help him. I don’t make plans for during the week because I never know when I’m going to be stuck here late, I go for months w/o taking a day off when I know things are bad for him. I cover his hours and his mistakes, he does not communicate with me.
I often feel taken advantage of because of his lack of communication. I can’t talk about it because coworkers look at me like I’m a horrible person for it. I really feel for him, but it’s really hard being the only one affected.