(Closed) NWR: Dinner party etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

1) Do you bring a hostess gift when you go to someone’s house for a dinner party?  What do you normally bring? 

Yes, a bottle of wine, some boxed chocolates, flowers, or a candle – depending on the person

2) Do you send a thank you note after the dinner? 

Depends on the circumstances. If they are hosting a more formal holiday party or something, yes. If it is more casual between friends, no.

Post # 4
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

1. Yes, generally I ask if the person would like something. If they don’t make a request, I bring wine, dessert, or flowers.

2. Not usually, unless it is a formal affair. Most of my husband’s family thinks I’m a bit uptight as it is, so I don’t need them finding me to be more stuffy 🙂 I send my friends/family thank you notes for things all the time, and I don’t want it to start getting to the point that it seems insincere. Also, we generally get invited to the same couple’s house almost once a week, so I’m not going to send a card each time.

Post # 5
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs. Eagle:  

1) Yes I always take a gift. Normally a bottle of champagne unless there is something more thoughtful that I know would be better. If its a close friend or someone with young kids I will offer to make dessert or bread. 

2) Yes I always send a thank you note. Well not to my parents, but to anyone else I would.  

Post # 6
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Mrs. Eagle:  

1) always. Usually wine or chocolate. Only exception is when it’s potluck. Then I bring a dish, and rarely an additional gift. Ie sometimes the person who allows our Xmas potluck at their house ill bring flowers/wine/chocolate since I work with 30 men and 4 women… Anytime we go to the guys house I always am thankful their wife has saved me from getting stuck hosting constantly. 

2) not so much.  I usually just attach a thank you note and sometimes a follow up email. 

Post # 8
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

1) Yes. Because while when I throw parties I don’t EXSPECT people to bring stuff but is sure is nice

2) No. My friends would just think I’m weird. We aren’t that formal with each other ever. 

Post # 9
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Maybe I’m not sophisticated enough or I don’t have the right friends, but I have yet to be invited to a nice dinner party. If I were to be, I would definitely take a gift, but I probably wouldn’t send a thank you note. Instead, our little group of friends (3 couples) all take turns hosting casual parties in which the host provides most of the food, and the guests bring some beer and dessert or sides that compliment the main dish.

So to answer in format 1) Sort of, but it’s usually beer and a dessert or dish meant to be served at the meal.

2) No, we just reciprocate and say thanks at the end of the night.

Our little parties have been going on for months and we really enjoy them.

Post # 10
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

1. not usually. I may ask if they want us to bring something, but if they say no, we will show up empty handed.

2. no, never. this would not occur to me, at all

Post # 11
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

1) Yes. We normally take a couple of bottles of wine and I usually offer to make dessert as well.

2) Yes but it is normally attached tot he gift.

Post # 12
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

1) Do you bring a hostess gift when you go to someone’s house for a dinner party?  What do you normally bring? 

Yes, unless it’s an informal thing like going to my grandparent’s or an aunt.  A bottle of wine if my safety gift, as in it’s always a good gift if I can’t find something else.  If I know what kind of decor they have, I might get flowers that match the colors, or if I see a little trinket I’ll get that.  For instance, one time someone gave my mom an elephant teapot as a hostess gift.  My mom has a bunch of teapots above the cabinets in her kitchen, and elephants are her favorite animal, so that was a perfect gift.

2) Do you send a thank you note after the dinner?

I send a thank you email but not a formal mailed note.


ETA:  I always offer to bring something food-related.  But I don’t consider that a gift, I just consider that a requirement (that I at least offer).

Post # 13
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

1. Yes, I bring wine or dessert.

2. I haven’t written a thank you for dinner, but I’d like to get into the habit! To be honest though…we don’t get invited to many dinner parties 🙁

Post # 14
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You always bring SOMETHING when you are a guest for dinner, in my opinion.  As for the note, I’ve never heard of that.  Usually I just text saying I had a great time.

Post # 15
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

1. It depends on the party and people. I have a group of friends who take turn hosting dinners, with them I don’t bring anything and the same thing happens when I host.

Other people I bring flowers or wine, if I bring a dish or dessert I call and ask first because I don’t the host to slave over something then have an extra dish or something she would prefer not to have.

2. I very rarely send thank you notes, my friends and I aren’t that formal. I tend to do a phonecall or text thanking them for inviting me.

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