(Closed) NWR Do you open eachother’s mail?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you open your SO's mail?

    We open eachother's all the time


    He opens mine but I wouldn't open his

    I open his but he wouldn't open mine

    Only on specifically allowed occassions


  • Post # 17
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    Usually I open the fun things (cards, invites, etc) and he opens the bills, doesn’t matter who they’re addressed to.

    Post # 18
    5920 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I usually have to, since he is gone March-September.  When he is home, I open all the bills since they are all joint, but other than that, I usually just hand his to him.  It’s definitely not a big deal, he would probably be much happier if I just opened everything. Nothing private here!

    Post # 19
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    On;y fpr two reasons. 1) Becuse he asks me too, if he is out of town, 2) I open up the World Vision mail, as we sponser a child, but it’s under his name specifially for some reason, so I open that up to keep up with his progress because I get so excited, and can’t wait til he gets home. But thats it.

    Post # 20
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If it’s something that he gets that I know is junk mail, I usually open it to double check, then shred it, otherwise he lets it pile up on his nightstand into this mountain of mess. but all of his bills and personal mail, I just hand them to him. He wouldn’t mind if I did open them, but I’d rather give him a sense of privacy for those things, even though, if I asked, he would show any of it to me.

    Likewise, he does the same for me.

    Post # 21
    3135 posts
    Sugar bee

    Being that Fiance is deployed, I open everything. 

    If he was home, I wouldn’t open personal mail, just bills.  Mind you… he usually just tells me to open something personal anyways if it’s addressed to him.

    My stuff he doesn’t open, but out of laziness, not because he isn’t allow.

    Being given Power of Attorney, and him having to do a will recently kind of took the barriers down in every single aspect of stuff like mail, bank accounts, etc.

    Post # 22
    7429 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I take care of the mail, because if left up to him, he wouldn’t open any of of his!

    Post # 23
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My fiance NEVER opens his mail, so I open everything and stack things that are his responsibility on his desk chair so he has to look at it before he can sit down…lol

    Post # 24
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If it’s the phone bill which is addressed to him but we are both on the account, I open it.

    If it’s a white envelope with just his name on it and it smells of perfume and has a lipstick kiss on the back, I sure as hell open it! LOL…just kidding.

    But that did happen once and he opened it in front of me. Turns out it was an ex sending him his resume out of the “goodness of her heart” because she updated it for him. No lipstick kiss, though. lol

    Post # 25
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I never open his mail. He usually gets bills which I am not interested to see anyway. Lol! Laughing

    If there was ever a mail that I was highly suspicious about then yes I would probably open it. Embarassed

    If he gets stuff during holidays like cards, then I ask permission before opening it.

    Post # 26
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m also in the camp that opens all of the mail. My husband rarely checks the mail, and even more rarely opens anything unless he thinks it looks like something fun. I handle all our finances and paperwork, so he has no real reason to open the mail. 


    Post # 27
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    sometimes. it depends. we have so much stuff together, technology-wise. sometimes i will tell him to get an email out of my inbox on the iPad and forward it to me, or his mom might have sent me somethng i want him to read, so i tell him to go into my email and vice versa. we don’t have secrets or anything to hide, so it’s not a big deal. i would never go through his emails just arbitrarily though, as in, to SNOOP. i’m sure he feels the same. even if he did, i wouldn’t care!

    Post # 28
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We both open each others mail (although I do more mail opening than him usually).  All bills and expenses and such are both of ours, even if only one name is on the envelope.  Plus, he is out of town for half the week each week so it would pile up if I just left it for him.

    That said, we do leave personal cards/letters/etc alone.

    Post # 29
    6350 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I open ALL the mail because as a lot PP’s said he never even opens his.

    Post # 30
    2111 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Depends what it is. DH works out of town so he’s gone 25 days at a time.

    If I know it’s one of our regular bills, I open it. Otherwise I just leave it unless he’s expecting something. Or if a mystery envelope comes without a return address, I’ll open it for him just in case it’s urgent.

    When he’s home, he never opens my mail unless I tell him to.

    Post # 31
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    For the most part, I open all the mail.  I am the one that takes care of the bills (his and mine) so it just makes sense to do it that way.  If he happens to think to check the mail, he usually opens it though.

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