Post # 1
We are at my in laws for a little over two weeks. I’ve stayed twice before for only 5 days so it didn’t seems as much as an intrusion. We’ve been here a week now and so far we’ve gone out to eat twice with his mom (his dad was at work) and treated since she went grocery shopping and has been making dinner. Now, I feel like I should try to help out but I know squat about cooking and feel like I’d just get in the way, so I end up not doing anything except try to make sure to pick up after ourselves right away. Husband is even worse in the kitchen than me and definitely no help. I feel like we should buy some groceries but we have no car and I surely don’t plan on cooking my poor excuse of a meal for them. At home, I have my way of doing things and honestly don’t want help tidying or stuff like that, but here I feel lazy not doing anything. Help! What am I supposed to do here at in laws place? Am I being really rude here not helping out?
Post # 3
Just ask what you can do, I do that at my future IL house when we visit! If your Future Mother-In-Law is in the kitchen, maybe ask what you can do to help (IE: set table, chop veggies etc) Maybe offer to do dishes?
Post # 4
All you have to do is ask your Mother-In-Law if there’s anything you can help with. That way, even if she doesn’t have anything she wants you to do, at least you’ve offered.
Post # 5
Have you asked if there is anything you can do to help. Maybe it is just opening a can or turning on the oven. When we stay at my moms, I always do my best to keep up with the kitchen and always do the dishes and make sure the trash gets out. Sometimes it is the little things that make the most impact. You are really trying and that goes a long way into showing that you are a good person, and says alot to MILs as they always notice.
Post # 6
I haven’t asked. Ugh, I must seem so awful. I guess my fear is that I’d be more trouble than it was worth if I have to ask questions ever step of the way – where’s this, where’s that, how to do whatever it might be. Guess I should at least ask and try…still got over a week to step it up.
Post # 7
@pinkshoes: Even if it’s more work for her to tell you how to do things, she’ll probably really appreciate the effort. It’s very sweet that you’re bothered by this, btw 🙂
Post # 8
Ask her to teach you while she is cooking. She will most likely be flattered.
Clear and set the table. Tell her you like to dust or vacuum and ask for the equipment you need.
You could also offer to cook dinner one night. When you are out sometime, it only takes a couple of minutes to pick up pasta, jarred pasta sauce and a premixed salad. I’m sure you can manage that.
Post # 9
I think you should just talk to your Mother-In-Law. Tell her how grateful you are for all she is doing to make your stay pleasant and ask what she would like help with. Based on what she says, go from there.
Some ideas without her input: help clear the dishes, wash the dishes, set the table, take out the trash, make sure your bed is made, bathroom is not left cluttered.