- 10 years ago
I’m a semi-regular bee posting under a separate name.
I’m curious as to what other people would do in a situation my husband and I are in. I do realize I may sound horribly judgemental.
We have a relative (husbands sibling) who we feel is taking advantage of his parents and other family members. The sibling is married. This couple is down on their luck, and their income does not cover their basic expenses (one works, one refuses to look for a job and claims they shouldn’t bother b/c nothing is out there). They have one child, which they put in daycare (family members pay for this).
My in-laws have just recently picked up their car payments and some of their mortgage. At the same time, the sibling and spouse are spending like crazy – concert tickets, designer shoes, spa visits, vacations, video games – not every now and then (I can understand wanting a treat when broke), but every week. They tell us about it but hide it from the parents.
My husband and I are not jealous that the sibling is getting handouts – if anything we’re happy we’re not in their situation, so please don’t think I’m jealous. However, I do think it is unfair that the parents and other relatives spend so much money on this family on a regular basis, hoping they get back on their feet, which i can’t see happening while they continuous splurge on things (which is all going on credit cards, from what they’ve told me). Part of me thinks we should “rat them out” to the parents, though it could be the parents know and turn a blind eye. What would you do in this situation?
And a second question/concern – we personally don’t want to contribute to this sibling or enable them – the sibling has figured out we’re doing ok (we try to never talk money in front of them) and has hinted that we should provide for them as well.