(Closed) NWR: Family members and money

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@HidingBee- where is your husband in all of this? I mean, they are his parents. How does he feel/what does he think about it?

Post # 19
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

this exact same situation happened in my family, but with my uncle and grandparents. my uncle was the youngest of three sons, the first two became lawyers which in his eyes meant they were rich. and like you, while they were certainly comfortable (lived in nice houses, vacationed), they worked very hard for that money and to support their famillies. meanwhile, my grandparents continued to give my uncle handouts…at one point they even offered to pay my parents to let him live with us because they wanted him out of their house for awhile. my dad and his older brother held their tongues, and so now you have my uncle, at the age of 50, living in a house that his mother bought him and still unable to support himself. plus, he has no contact with his brothers because after helping him out financially over the years, they finally decided that if he wasn’t going to put any effort into supporting himself (he worked very limited hours by choice), then they weren’t going to keep giving him money. meanwhile, my uncle seems to be constantly taking vacations, buying nice things, etc….with my grandmother’s money.

so the point of my story is that you are better off saying something now, and not letting this go on forever. i know my dad wishes they had done a better job of dealing with this 20 years ago; now he feels it’s a lost cause. if you turn a blind eye to the situation it will only get worse.

Post # 21
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m honestly glad you came to that decision. Try to keep us posted, if you can.

Post # 23
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with your decision – I would speak up and be honest so that nobody feels like their being rated out or taken advantage of.  I wouldn’t give them any money if they ask – unless they produce a budget or mandatory electric bill or something.  I think you’re on the right track with helping them positively.  I’d still keep it up – even if it seems useless.  Keep sending her jobs, tips and classes.  After a while she’ll pick up on it!

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