- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I wore the same goddamned thing to work every day the past two weeks. Black pants, some sort of sweater, scarf. I can do a jeans outfit, but I can’t wear jeans to work, and you can’t just wear the same thing with jeans as you can with black pants. I went through my sweater collection and I have like four or five cardigans…but they all look stupid. Buttoned or unbuttoned, they look dumb.
I can’t wear skirts/dresses. I tried on a few outfits and posted them here, and everyone said they didn’t work. I don’t know what the next step is. Maybe I could wear a different top with the black pants? But what? I have a few long-sleeved shirts and a few “three-quarter length” shirts…but I would need another layer because it’s still cold.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about how everyone is like, “You’re crazy, everyone can just go to the tailor, it’s easy, stop being crazy, it’s so easy.” Well, yes, it’s easy if you’ve always had the confidence to know what looks good. It’s easy to look at a piece of clothing in the store, put it on, look in the mirror, and think, “Oh, I’ll just take it to the tailor, la di da,” if you’ve already got the confidence to know that the tailor can make it look good. That’s part of being confident that you’ll eventually look good in the clothes, as long as they fit. For me, I know I won’t look good in anything, no matter what the fit…so what’s the point of taking it to a tailor? It takes a lot of confidence to be able to say, “Oh, it’s not me, it’s the clothes!” That seems so…far from what I could ever do.
I want to stop feeling completely destroyed when I think about what to wear. I feel like a huge failure for not knowing how to dress myself. I know people make fun of me. What do I do?