(Closed) NWR – Feeling Played & Let Down. Oh Joys of Single Life…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Hostess
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

itwillallworkout :  Oh honey. Your post above shows you are clearly no fool. You know this is a temporary feeling of crapness, it will pass but none the less, it still sucks. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Recently too.

 

When you are single and going through the hell that is dating, when you meet someone who isn’t instantly a total fuckwit, then it is natural to get your hopes up. It is good that you have the capacity to get excited and think that you may have found someone to make you happy. Totally normal. Therefore, it is totally normal that when it doesnt quite pan out  – it feels shit, you wonder what you did wrong, what is wrong with you and why can’t it all just be a bit more simple.

 

I totally get how you are feeling. It’s rubbish. You know you are better off without some d-bag that would make you feel this way so there is no use me banging on about that  – YOU KNOW THAT  – but my advice is, go and do something that makes you feel like a strong, empowered, hero of a woman that you are. Be it, going to the gym and lifting weights, or throwing on some heels and lippy just to go to the supermarket – because fuck it why not –  whatever it may be, do it for you and no one else and you will feel better in no time.

 

Big hugs

 

XXXXX

Post # 3
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Love, life, isn’t just blind. It is deaf, dumb and stupid.The head and the heart should generally agree right? Not when you are single. They are two separate entities driven to make you crazy. 

Don’t know how you deal with it but I used to find it best to blast music in my ears while working out. The music make me feel stronger (Beyonce Stronger is a good one) and the endorphins at the end helped. 

But you want funny pictures…. Betty White is my hero.

Post # 4
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

Chiming in here. Sorry that your life has been turned upside down. It sucks and it makes us super sensitive when you start dating again, only to get thrown back into hell when things don’t go as expected. 

Best piece of advice I can give is “take everything with a grain of salt and don’t invest yourself until their actions match their words.”

Words are great, it makes us feel better and we start to see something beautiful happening. However, if actions don’t back up those words it becomes a hurtful let down. 

Take your time, don’t get in a hurry and settle for beautiful words, only move forward if there are beautiful actions behind each of those words.

Post # 6
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

Oh sorry :(.  It happens to the best of us.  I have definitely been there.  I know you feel foolish but don’t!  You were just being positive and hoping it would go somewhere and there is nothing wrong with that.  Dating can be really hard for reasons like these but it can also be really fun.   There is seriously no better feeling then when you get home from an amazing first date!  You have that to look forward to 🙂

Oh and it’s totally normal to be a little extra emotional about the first guy you really like after a breakup.  

Post # 7
Hostess
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

itwillallworkout :  No, the closer you get the 30 the more you try to believe that men aren’t scumbags and players, but sadly, there are plenty out there. But there are also plenty of good guys. Keep your chin up chick.

Post # 10
Hostess
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

itwillallworkout :  I reallydo – I went through the exact same thing 3 months ago after being single for 2 years and finally getting excited about someone and he turned out to be a total dick.

Post # 12
Member
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

The brilliant bees have given you great advice and there’s not much more I can add as I just feel like saying +1 to all of them. 

Im a bit ‘urg’ when it comes to amaricany dating coach stuff but I like this guy. http://www.evanmarckatz.com

Loads of free advice in his blogs. He was helpful in stopping me getting overly keen and helped me see the things that show ‘good’ guys from the idiots. It’s not rocket science but I found his posts kept me grounded when my head was in a spin over someone. 

 

Post # 14
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I am someone who can tell you exactly what to do. I am 60 now, but I was younger once, and I know now just why I was always wooed and dumped by a parade of guys years ago.

When a guy paid a little attention to me, I latched onto him, and put too much into it, way too fast. Then I was devastated when he withdrew. Happened over and over again.

I also did not recognize when some guy was an asshole, I kept thinking if I treated him like a prince, he would turn into one.

Watch out for yourself, make yourself happy, live life on your terms. Until you have an established relationship with the right guy, don’t sacrifice for him. A great match comes along once or twice in a lifetime, not a few times a year.

Post # 15
Hostess
8742 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

itwillallworkout :  Ugh it is just so infuriating, the chap who mucked me about said all the things at the start, then was a slacker at texting back / arranging anything, then he essentially stood me up one night so I messaged him and called him a scumbag and told him to fuck off. Literally never heard from him. I kept asking myself why etc but it was just because he was a pathetic waste of space. If it helps though I went on a tinder date to get over it and met my now boyfriend!

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