NWR: FH Works Opposite Shift =(

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

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hickoryhills :  I feel your pain. My fi and I don’t live together yet and he lives 40 min away. I work Tues – Fri 7am to 530pm. He works Sun – Thurs 1pm – 9pm but at his job a lot of times he has to go in earlier and work later than those hours. So basically I see him Fri evening, Sat, sometimes Sunday afternoon. He works most holidays as well. He will usually stay with me a night or two during the week but I’m usually ready for bed by the time he gets there. It’s not always easy and I miss him a lot! 

Post # 3
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My husband is a police officer, and even though we live together we can go about that long without seeing one another in person, because of my college, work, and field experience schedule and his work schedule. If he gets involved in something at work he can end up working 14 to 18 hour shifts, and I am out of the house from 6am to 10pm right now. The only thing keeping me going at this point is the fact that it’ll be over in a month. My schedule goes back to normal and we will go back to seeing one another on weekends. That’s still five days of only seeing him when he’s asleep. Because of the nature of his job he’s gone for most bad storms, emergencies, and holidays. It’s hard, but it’s worth it because when we ARE together we’re so happy. Only you know if you’re the type of woman who is going to be ok with a schedule like that. Is it forever? 

Post # 4
Member
8370 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I live with my husband and still feel like I don’t see him much! He works 6 days a week, and his only day off is a weekday, when I’m working. During the winter he gets home around 9pm, and then I’m in bed by 11. So I do see him a little bit most nights. It’s hard never having any days off together though. I hate that he works weekends soo much. During this year (after our hm) I asked that he take 1 weekend day off a month, so that we have at least one day off together a month. It’s so nice to wakeup on a weekend and him not have to rush to get ready for work. 

Does your family do thanksgiving/xmas? I would just say that you won’t be able to attend because you’re going to your family one. I wouldn’t mind *now* attending a family function with my ILs without my husband, but previously, I’d have declined. If they are offended, oh well, you have a family too! This is something that they will have to get over, especially once you guys are married. 

 

Post # 5
Member
3042 posts
Sugar bee

It can be hard.  My job requires a lot of international travel and I spend about half the year abroad. Often I’ll be gone for 2-3 weeks at a time, sometimes even 4-5 weeks.  It makes it hard to stay in touch via Facetime or phone calls due to time zone differences.  

One of the things that helps make our situation work is that the airline and hotel loyalty points I earn thru my work travel wind up providing us with some really nice vacations.  So the realizaion that there are some benefits helps.  

It’s not quite the same as your situation, but similar enough with the concept of working such opposite shifts.  One thing we do that helps is rely on sending each other long emails.  It’s nice to know when you go to bed, that when you wake up there’s going to be a nice long email.  

Post # 6
Member
3087 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Damn, that is tough. Is there a reason you are not living together or at least living close by? If it is possible, I’d try to spend at least 3 nights a week at one anothers’ homes, even if it’s just to be able to see each other for an hour before you go to sleep. 

Post # 7
Member
3906 posts
Honey bee

What kind of animals do you have?  If it’s a dog, can you bring them over to your FH’s for a night?  And surely a cat can remain home alone.  That way you have some extra time with each other.

Post # 10
Member
3906 posts
Honey bee

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hickoryhills :  Got it.   My cat is sooo different and he loves being home alone, which makes my life easier because I leave him home alone quite often.  When SO and I lived apart (over an hour drive), he was home almost every other weekend alone or I wouldn’t have been able to see SO for weeks at a time.  

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