NWR – Fiance Doesn't Want Me To Take Trip

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

daisy123 :  If he’s a great hands-on dad as you suggest, I have trouble seeing what his problem is taking care of them for a week? Can’t be the money either if you’re getting PTO. I’d get to the bottom of this before you leave. 

Post # 47
Member
8450 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mrsssb :  

Absolutely, 100%. OP, don’t engage in any more conversations about it. Act as if he was ok with it and as far as is possible do not allow yourself to feel any guilt or anxiety . 
I bet he gains a new respect for parenting when he’s had to do it solo too. 

l don’t believe there is anything to be gained by having it out/ getting to the bottom of it or any of that, because it seems to me there is nothing serious going on, except his – perhaps- envy at a trip and anxiety at doing it alone , no matter how good he is when you are there. 

Post # 48
Member
3060 posts
Sugar bee

daisy123 :  

Its one thing if this is the only vacation that your family can afford this year.

Like hey, no disneyworld for the family because mama wants to go here instead. 

BUT it doesnt sound like that is the case AT ALL. So i dont see how he can call you selfish for spending money on a trip that doesnt involve the family. You have NEVER done this before and you have a friend you are visiting, as well! He needs to suck it up. He can take a small trip for a week to visit a friend or family if he wants to play tit for tat.

You mentioned that you have taken some family vacations recently, what about just you two? Maybe he is feeling like he also needs a break? Maybe after this trip you two could look into planning something? 

Post # 51
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

daisy123 :  Without knowing your fiancee better it’s hard to say how to react to this. Yes he should absolutely be fine with you taking a break from “mom-ing” to visit your friend. However, have you considered he might be thinking this trip is also a break from him  (I don’t mean to cheat or anything of that nature) and indicates unhappinies in the relationship on your part. I would re-assure him this isn’t the case and see how he reacts then.

Just something to consider Bee.

 

Post # 52
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I think that you’re probably a very gorgeous woman and he fears some other guy might whisk you away while you vacation. 🙂 

Something to smile about, bee! I hope this gets all sorted out. We need trips as much as men if not more. And parenting is not easy. He needs to be very, very fair with this one.

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