(Closed) NWR: friends who cannot manage their finances (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well I’m sure it’s annoying, but it’s also their burden to carry. Some people just never learned how to budget. I wouldn’t question their spending, even if it’s hard to hold back, because that just looks bad too.

Post # 4
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My advice is 1) don’t let it worry you and 2) NEVER get involved.  As in, NEVER lend money or offer to help with anything financially.

We have friends who have a huge pile of bills and a huge pile of kids.  They are constantly buying things that we might deem they don’t “need” – but I can’t make that judgment, only they can.  I honestly don’t ever give it a second thought anymore because it’s their business.

I can see if someone was constantly complaining about their finances and then being irresponsible it might get a bit annoying, but other than that I just try to ignore it.  Money and friends don’t usually mix!

Post # 5
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

@scarlet_letter:  I understand where you come from. I’ve always paid my CCs in full. If I don’t have the money readily available for something, well, it means I can’t afford it. (Of course I am not talking about student loans or a loan for a house, or medical bills.) 

I can’t understand when people go out for drinks every single night and then they complain about having huge debts on their CCs and not being able to start paying off student loans etc.

ETA: as previous posters said: better not to mention that to your friends. After all, it’s their problem. I am really careful not to lend bis sums of money to such people, because it could result in a very awkward situation.

Post # 6
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Although you may be apalled at their spending habits, I suggest you do not devote another moment thinking about them.

Nothing comes between friends and family faster than money.

Post # 8
Member
14657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@scarlet_letter:  I’m a saver also and our friends know this.  I dont understand getting into credit card debt either.  But other peoples fianances are none of my business, and unless they ask me for my opinion, I just keep my mouth shut… and maybe have discssions with my husband about it (as in I never want to be in that position and I’d do blah blah blah differently than they would).  This helps us out and we see we’re on the same page regarding finances… we’re not talking about them to bad mouth them or anything like that.

Post # 9
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Why burden yourself with caring about someone else’s finances?  It’s not worth the stress!

Post # 10
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have a friend like this. She lives way above her means and has tons of debt. She is able to pay it off but instead she chooses to spend her money on more clothes and trips. It’s irresponsible, yes, and the only time I have said anything is when she has complained to me about not having money. This was the only time we talked about it and I would never bring it up myself.

Some people are just like this. Let them worry about their finances.

Post # 12
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Imagine if these financially irresponsible people were your PARENTS… ugh.

Post # 15
Member
8610 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh. People putting their “wants” before their pet’s needs make me so angry. I don’t care if people live in debt and max every credit card they have, just take care of your darn pets!

Post # 16
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

There’s really nothing you can do but voice your concerns as a caring friend and let them make their own mistakes. Some people never learn – I’ve known people who have declared bankruptcy three times and are still booking vacations on credit cards. And certainly, never let them borrow money – mixing friendship with money is a bad idea all around.

I also learned the hard way that you shouldn’t get a dog unless you have money saved up in case of emergency surgery. That unfortunately was what ended up on my credit card.

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