Post # 1
This morning i found out that a “friend” was tragically killed last night in a motorcycle accident. He was my best friends last relationship before she met her Fiance. The thing is, she is so devestated about this(i get it) but she dated the guy 3-4 yrs ago, and for like 4 months… after they broke up, they had NO contact… and literally she would avoid him if she saw him in a public place.
Im trying to be as supportive as i can for her, but she texted me saying “i didnt sleep at all last night, i cant stop crying, i loved him”… . I want to be there to support her, but i dont know what to say or do… it was such a short relationship and shes engaged with someone new… like eerrgghhh.. what do i do to help her get over this??
Post # 3
Well first, put all judgements aside – I am sure you aren’t trying to but it does sound liike you are judging whether or not she has a “right” to be so upset. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.
Don’t be afriad to ask her what she needs from you. There’s likely nothing you can do to take her pain away other than make sure he knows you are there for her. Ask how she is and check up on her regularly – just so she knows you’re there.
If it was me, in situations like this I like to hear THIS SUCKS. I don’t like to hear everything will be okay. She may be different than I am, but having someone realize how bad it sucks makes me feel better about it.
Maybe you could go keep her company – make her dinner/bring over some take out and watch a movie and drink some wine to get her mind off of things.
Post # 4
@MrsWBS: i do kind of feel like she is going a little above and beyond, not gonna lie about that. i understand that shes upset, as i would be too if it was someone from my past. but tonight she was suppose to be coming down for a concert, and she decided that she doesnt want to anymore, i think she should come still, keep her mind off of this since now shes just gonna be sitting at home mourning. I dunno, i think wahts hard for me is b/c she has NEVER had anyone pass away in the 17 years ive known her, so this is kind of new to her, and bc of that i feel like no matter what i say is gonna help… I like the whole just saying This sucks… b/c it does. i think i just need to be a little careful on what to say to her.