Post # 1
My sister’s elementary school friend is pregnant and asked my sister and I if we could host her baby shower this summer. I love my friend but I really wasn’t planning on offering to host her shower because I can’t afford it right now. Apparently, her sister is super Catholic and not liking the idea of having a CO-ED shower (completely differently subject) but anyway. My sister just graduated in May and is looking for jobs and I’m in the middle of buying a home (possibly closing in July). Is it rude if we don’t buy her a gift. I simply can’t afford to do it all? I wanted to do a book & card and call it good? Is that tacky?
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
If you are hosting the shower, I think that is reasonable. I would make it clear to the guest of honor that you hosting the shower will be your gift to her.
Post # 3
I honestly would decline to host the shower in this situation. You don’t need to stretch yourself financially for this – if no one offers she shouldn’t be asking people to do it.
Post # 4
I think when you host the shower that is a gift enough (especially since she asked and it wasnt an offer), strange that she asked though – thats not really something you ask of people. If it’s really going to put you out financially I would decline and let her know its not feasible. Or if you still want to host do it really simple and inexpensive!
Post # 5
This is why you never ask someone to host a shower. Your friend was wrong to put you in this position. You should gracefully decline to host. Let her know you are excited for her and the baby but you can’t financially afford to host. You would prefer to celebrate as a guest.
Post # 6
That is a tough spot. Can you offer your house as a location and offer your time but have the friend help with budget? I’d explain your predicament. If you end up hosting the shower, then I think a book is a perfect gift.
Post # 7
Umm I didn’t know asking people to host your baby shower was a thing.. I would let her know you would like to help her plan her shower but cannot commit to the full thing because of you being in the process of buying a home.
Post # 8
I would’ve declined hosting a shower in your position honestly. It was also very rude of this woman to ASK you to throw her a shower. That’s not something you ask. It’s something that other people offer to do for you.
However, if you’re definitely going to do this thing, it’s perfectly fine to not give a gift. The shower is your gift!
Post # 9
I too would decline to host the shower. Even if you have already accepted, likely because she took you by complete surprise wih such a request, I would tell her that having had some time to think about it, you are in no position to host.
If you decide to go ahed wih hosting, you are not obligated to give a gift. Neither need you explain why to her.
Post # 10
Did you already agree?
If not, decline. Tell her you sympathize with wanting a shower but do not have the means to host it. It was rude of her to ask – showers aren’t a right. Someone offers to throw you one and if no one does you just don’t get one.
In the non-rude version of this exchange, offering to host is a gift in and of itself. You would spend far more on food and decor than a physical gift. In my opinion, a congratulations card is all that is necessary at most. I’ve seen some rather gift-grabby people argue otherwise, but i feel that is the exception to the average reasonable person.
Post # 11
I would get something small like a book or a cute outfit (you can find outfits on sale for like a lot of the time for like 10 bucks).
I think it was rude of her to ask you to host, and you absolutey shouldn’t feel obligated. If you really want to, don’t feel like it has to be a big ordeal. I went to an afternoon shower at someone’s house. It wasn’t over a mealtime, and they just had cake and punch, and maybe chips and dip or something simple like that. It was a nice shower- bunch of people still got together to celebrate the upcoming birth which is what it is all about anyway