NWR: How can I politely write "no children" for my dad's surprise 60th?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

Do you think your DAD, who the party is for, wants his grandkids there?

It’s not about what you want, it’s a party for him. 

This isn’t a ‘I love kids’ thing- I don’t. Your wedding was for you. This party is for your Dad. If he shares your opinion on all of his grandkids being bratty and preferring they and their parents (his children) don’t attend, then by all means, make it no kids. But I doubt that’s the truth!

Post # 3
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

“Adults Only Celebration” ..or something like that. You will likely get the same response from the same parents that didn’t go to your wedding, but it is what it is. Not to mention, I feel like an adult’s birthday party is one of the last places you’d want to bring a child, but I guess that’s neither here nor there haha. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
47255 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

jimonabee89 :  Addresss the invitations by name to those who are invited.

Include the number of seats reserved on the rsvp card.

If someone adds their kids “I’m sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding. The invitation was for you and ____. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the party.”

Post # 7
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

“Thank you for understanding that this is an adults only event. Looking forward to seeing you there.” Make sure names of invites only are on invites and they can list who is attending by name on RSVPs.

You could put something on there about offering to make arrangements for children?

Post # 8
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

jimonabee89 :  Also I think it’s really in poor taste for parents to be offended or kick up a fuss because their precious little ones can’t come to a wedding or party. You are not obligated to invite children, and invites are sent way in advance so that arrangements can be made. It’s ONE day/night FFS.

Post # 9
Member
2975 posts
Sugar bee

Are they all brats or just some of them?  Just curious.

There really isn’t a polite way of saying “childfree” especially as people have been offended by a previous “childfree event” (your wedding). They are definitely going to be offended all over again.

I suggest that you ask your elder brother to send the invitations so that he can take the flak rather than you. In a previous thread you have said that you feel like your are parenting your entire family even though you are the youngest.  You don’t have to do this. Nor do you have to be the person who always has to be responsible for everyone or the person who always has to take the blame.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m not sure if it is proper or not, but I would personally add something to the bottom to the effect of “adult only reception,” or “we are sorry for any inconvenience, but we can only accomodate guests over the age of 21.”

What type of venue is the party at? You can always use space as a reason (for when those couples call you to complain) or if it is at a bar/restaurant, you can use the excuse that since alcohol is present, and to be consumed, it is the wishes of those involved that guests all be a specific age….

or you can just say your dad wants it to be adult only. The truth might hurt a few, but at some point it needs to be said. I have two kids. I LOVE them to pieces, but I really don’t get those who can’t go anywhere without theirs. 

Post # 11
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

What Julies said.  That’s very polite.  And it’s perfectly fine to have child-free events.  If the parents kick up a fuss because they can’t be away from their ten year old for one night, that’s their problem.

Post # 12
Member
9281 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

just address the invititations to who you want to invite.  i don’t think you should put no children.

if someone rsvps that their child is coming, contact them as say, only x and y were invited, i understand if this makes it not possible for you to attend.

Post # 13
Member
13762 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is not a polite way to point out who is not invited on the invitation. 

If you opt to go the kid free route, you know from experience there will be drama.  Bite the bullet and call people who don’t get the hint that it’s a kid-free event and RSVP on their behalf. 

Post # 14
Member
3915 posts
Honey bee

I think something along the lines of “you’re invited to an adult cocktail reception”, as others have suggested, is probably the safest route. Throwing adult and something related to alcohol should help people understand the tone of the event. The fact that this is going to the same parents who were miffed about your child-free wedding, is pretty much guaranteeing drama no matter what you do since you are also hosting this event. To me, it is what it is, and you know you’re doing what will make your dad enjoy his night the most, so its justified.

Post # 15
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper

I like the adult cocktail reception idea. Or you can say, “Alcohol will be served, 21 and over only” Or something. I don’t understand what the fuss is. I would want a night with adults too. 

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