Post # 1
I have a single friend that’s close to 50. She’s never been married, had a kid, etc. She recently moved her dad into her home, so she could care for him, as he ages (he’s able-bodied right now – in his early 70’s).
A friend of hers sent out am email saying she’s throwing a shower for her – as a way of showering her with gifts to help her get started on this new chapter of life. The idea is to pool money together and send one cash gift….
I’m a tad perplexed at how much to give…. I think what’s got me perplexed is I know how she’s planning to spend the money (and it’s not towards her dad) – it’s for personal/relaxation purposes… (granted, she gone through a financial strain to provide for her dad)…..
Would love to know thoughts on how much you’d give. Would you do a typical bridal/baby shower amount?
Post # 3
I’ve thought about this a bit from a similar angle; it just has always seemed really unfair to me that women who never get married are going to spend their whole lives buying wedding and shower gifts for all their friends, but NEVER get anything in return!
So, normally I would be horrified at someone doing a “money” shower, but given the conditions, (she’s never married, there’s a good chance at her age she never will- but you would know if she has wanted to, or never wanted to get married?) I would be very sympathetic and probably give about the same I would for a regular shower. I think anyone about to care for a relative deserves some discretionary relaxation money!
Post # 4
@red_rose: I agree.
This was addressed on an episode of Sex and the City, and I completely agree with the fact that women who choose not to marry or have children should not be given the short end of the stick forever. These women give gifts at others’ bridal/baby showers, so it’s time for their friends to reciprocate.
Post # 5
I would give as much as I’d typically give at a baby/bridal shower (about $50), if not more. I think it’s pretty unfair that we really only throw showers for women who are getting married or having babies, especially when you consider the fact that she’s probably attended – and bought presents for – a zillion baby/bridal showers herself. Why don’t we celebrate our other accomplishments in the same way, you know? Hey, you got a Master’s degree, let’s have all your girlfriends over and give you a fancy leather dayplanner! Congrats, you dumped the cad who was making you miserable! Here’s a Cuisinart!
Re: the way she plans to spend the money, I wouldn’t think of giving any less because she’s planning on using it for something fun instead of something practical. I certainly don’t “need” the $50 Kate Spade frame I registered for, or the fancy china or high end wineglasses – but I hope people will buy them for me anyway, because they want to give me a gift that makes me happy and is a treat. I would think of this situation in the same way – a nice way to give someone a special surprise at a transitional point in her life.