Post # 1
I think my best friend got engaged. Her mom texted my husband (it’s his mom, too) and told him, and he called me. I texted her something like, “Heyyyyy what’s up?” No response. A few days later, I texted her again, and I haven’t heard back. It’s been almost a week.
Now, there are some extenuating circumstances that need to be shared. One, she is notorious for not answering her phone (I can tell you how many times she’s even called me — twice — in our 14 year friendship). She is also known to not respond to texts. But, for FUCK’S SAKE, she apparently got engaged and I don’t merit a response? IT PISSES ME OFF. I’m sick of waiting around for her to decide she wants to contact me. I want to make sure she’s okay, too, because I know she and her boyfriend have had TONS of issues (like, really serious ones) and I want to make sure she wasn’t sort of cornered into a decision. I can imagine her not being able to say no even if she wanted to.
I am so annoyed and frustrated. I want to act like she does, and stop being a good friend to her, too. But the thing is that when we are together, it’s like the best friendship ever. When she responds, it’s great. She’s there if I need her (if I call three or four times in a row she’ll answer because she knows it’s an emergency…UGH what the fuck).
I guess i just wanted to vent. Does anyone else have a friend like this??? Any advice on how not to feel so annoyed? If it were another person saying this, I would say, “You knew she was like that when you continued being her friend,” but I’m not finding my own advice particularly helpful!
Post # 3
@peachacid: I had a friend like this. I was constantly the one calling and texting her and she only ever replied when she had nothing better to do and no one else to hang out with. We were supposed to be best friends but after 10 years of this friendship I saw how one sided it was. I sent her a text one day and she never replied, and that was the end of our friendship. I decided to not let her use me for anything anymore and put an end to it on my part. I really have no advice, just similar experience. It really sucks going through stuff like this.
Post # 4
@peachacid: ah that sucks. Is she just bad with answering back or is she terrible friend all around? (excluding the time you spend together which appears to be good).
I can be bad about responding sometimes. and my BFF can be the same way. We are usually pretty good but sometimes I am busy when i get a text or call and forget to reply back.
I was pretty upset when i found out through someone else that my BFF was pregnant. I was so mad she didn’t tell me. I didn’t say anything and just waited, turned out she wanted to tell me in a special way when we saw eachother and actually gave the news as part of a xmas gift. I was really touched and never told her i knew before hand (or that i was mad). Maybe she wants to tell you in person?
not an excuse for not replying at all though!
Post # 5
@peachacid: did you call her? I have a friend like this too. We are still friends though, I just got used to it
Post # 6
Boo! That sucks! I am someone who is known for not answering my phone, but I did call/text my best friends within a couple days of getting engaged to let them know. Some people should find out first hand.
Post # 7
@peachacid: I’ve been the friend like this. I am notorious for not keeping in contact with people. I genuinely care about the people who I am not updating about life, I swear. It’s a skill I am working on.
On the flip side, I’ve had friends that genuinely lost interest in my life and our friendship, and I took it as a sign that the friendship had run its course once phone calls dwindled to a handful of times a year. Even I can do better than that.
Post # 8
@peachacid: Can you just show up at her house?
Post # 9
I think she, her boyfriend, and her parents are still on a cruise. My husband doesn’t know, and I don’t want to, like, stalk her. And even if she were home, she wouldn’t be alone — she recently had foot surgery, so her boyfriend is there 24/7 to help.
She’s not hanging out with other people, so it’s not like I’m the last option. It’s just…she doesn’t respond.
I’m pretty much used to it, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. But that doesn’t stop me from being irritated! She doesn’t answer her phone so there’s basically no point in calling.
Post # 10
yea ugh I hear you. I’ve given up on some friends. It sucks.
Post # 11
Well if she’s still on the cruise she might not have reception. Every cruise I’ve ever been on my cell was completely useless until I got back into the States.
But otherwise, she might not be calling because you know her ugly past with her Fiance. I know when I was dating douches I shouldn’t have, I didn’t share any news with my BFF because I knew she wouldn’t be happy for me. She was right, obviously, and I wouldn’t have felt the need to shut her out if I didn’t know my relationship was shitty. Sucked for her and me too!
I hope she’s just without cell reception and enjoying her cruise. Hopefully she’ll share with you as soon as she’s back.
Post # 12
if she is on a cruise it’s probably hard for her to get phone service and I personally like to stay disconnected on vacations.
Post # 13
When I got engaged we were on vacation and I waited until we were back to tell my parents in person, then called my friends after that. I usually ignore my phone on vacation, and I know a lot of people who turn their’s off. I know it’s annoying, but I would wait it out.