(Closed) NWR: 'It's probably a good thing that you have to abort.'

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
1693 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i’m so sorry you’re going through this! i would have lost my shit with her. you’re going through a horrible experience right now and that’s all she could think about?? i would never speak to her again.

((hugs)) i hope everything turns out well for you and your DH.

Post # 33
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

WHAT THE FUCK????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Uh, I think your Mother-In-Law should probably be banned from your life. Here you are, in this horrible and heartbreaking situation, and she says THAT?!?!?!?! What a bitch!

Many hugs. I hope you get through this situation alright!

Post # 34
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am so sorry about what you’re going through.
I’m sending internet hugs your way, though I wish they could help more.

I am also sorry that your Mother-In-Law is being so selfish.
I hope she realizes what she did (not just said, but DID) to you one day and apologizes, but in the mean time I’d just avoid her like the plague.
Good for you for getting up and leaving!
Extra points to your husband for standing by you!

Post # 35
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

All I have to say is that I’m really sorry you have to deal with that BS ON TOP OF everything you’re already going through.

Post # 36
9670 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@MrsRs:  OMG.  First of all, my deepest sympathies to you and your husband for what you are about to endure.  I think you are making the right choice, btw, however heartbreaking it may seem at the moment.  As far as your Mother-In-Law goes, shame on her!  I can NOT believe she said something like that to you.  Please do not let her crassness eat away at you.  Right now you need to be as positive as you possibly can.  Many studies have shown that stress hinders the healing process.  Please go into all of this with a positive outlook and as much optimism as you can possibly have.  If it helps, Japanese culture does not frown upon abortions because they believe that each person that is born is born to serve this earth – or in other words, a baby that would be miscarried or aborted will be the same baby you will have later on in a future pregnancy.  I wish you the best of luck – maybe you should stay away from the Mother-In-Law until you are done with all your treatments and deemed cancer free.  Sounds like she is the bigger cancer to me!

Post # 37
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my. My heart is just aching for you.  I can’t even believe Mother-In-Law said that. How could anyone be so so so clueless that they could say something so cruel and be oblivious? Or worse, intentionally mean?  I hate her too. 




What can you say to this? I just don’t know… In times like this where i can’t find any silver lining, i just tell myself that everything happens for a reason.  And when you’ve triumphed over cancer, reclaimed your life, and you’re holding a beautiful baby with your husband by your side, you’ll realize that it’s all worth it and that everything needed to happen the way it did so that you can have that moment. 

Post # 38
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

What a stupid bitch she is.

At nearly 45, I’m a two times cancer survivor.  I was first diagnosed when I was 21, after the first bout I was told in no uncertain terms that even getting pregnant was a huge risk for me, and it was highly unlikely that any pregnancy would go full term.

When I was 21, I didn’t care about that.  Children were the last thing on my mind.  I got pregnant when I was 34, when I was married to my ex H.  I was willing to see if it could go full term, but my ex H was adamant that he didn’t want children.  I terminated the pregnancy, as I have always vowed (after being an unwanted child) that I would not have a child unless it’s father wanted it.  

When my ex Mother-In-Law was terminally ill, towards the end she was on drugs that removed any filters she had on what she said.  She made numerous pointed comments infront of both myself and ex H about how she would have loved to be a grandmother…I’d always get the evil eye when she said this stuff.  She made it clear she blamed me…

Believe me, the last thing you need right now is to be angry.  But that doesn’t mean you need to take this lying down, either.  I would change your home telephone number, and make it clear to your husband that under no circumstances is she to have the new number.  Also make it clear to your husband that from this day forward, she is his problem, not yours.  If he still wants a relationship with her, fine, but after what she has said, you are no longer under any obligation to. 

In your current situation, people like her need to no longer exist.  All your energy needs to go to the fight you now face.  Best wishes to both you and your husband.

Post # 39
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsRs:  So sorry! I am sending you light, love, and prayers!

People can really be so inconsiderate sometimes. Ignore Mother-In-Law and you focus on you! You do not have to listen to her explain her reasoning, bc quite frankly what’s done is done. Try to let it go and focus on getting healthy.

Post # 40
34 posts

No human in their right mind says “Well, an abortion is a good thing,” regardless of circumstance. I am so, so sorry for your situation and will be praying for you. I hope that in the future you can enjoy a family, healthiy and happily and free from ugly comments from your Mother-In-Law. What she said is inexcusable, and you have EVERY right to be upset and sad. The best thing you can do is focus on you right now. If she questions it, just say that you need time to gather your own strength and need to be alone to get through this problem with the support of your own family, since its obvious she isn’t being part of that right now. Prayers for a speedy recovery.

Post # 41
6422 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, an inexcuseably horrible thing to say! I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. This decision could not have been easy for you. You are SO STRONG. <3 You and your husband have to do what’s best for you, and don’t listen to anyone else. She probably had no idea what to say. My sister’s SIL had a double mastectomy and then had two healthy kids of whom she used formula for. The children are happier than ever. Stay strong and please let us know how everything turns out. Your health is #1!  ((HUGS))

Post # 42
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

What a raging bitchfacecuntslut. I feel bad that you are related to someone who is such a horrible human. Her “maternal instinct came out” um FUCK HER, what a shitty thing to say knowing that you have to abort.

OP I’m so sorry about your cancer and having to abort, it’s a shitty situation, I really hope the best for you in a tough spot like this.

Post # 43
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsRs:  Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I’m so glad you at least have the support of these wonderful ladies here on the internet. *LOTS OF HUGS!* I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with someone so unsupportive. As a NICU nurse, I must say that formula works just fine. I just can’t believe your Mother-In-Law was so rude. She clearly didn’t think before she spoke. I’m so sorry 🙁

Post # 44
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@badabing88:  +1000

That was my reaction too but like @MrsPanda99:  I didn’t realize you could say that word on WB. What an evil woman. I see that your DH is fending off her calls with you, but have you talked about what role you both want her playing in your life going forward? I think you are perfectly justified in ignoring/avoiding her although if that were my Mother-In-Law, she would see my rage.

Last but not least, I am so sorry for what you and your DH are going through right now. Sending virtual ::hugs:: your way.

Post # 45
3910 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

(((HUGS))) I am sorry to read about your heart breaking decision ;(     If you want to me to kick your Mother-In-Law in her face I would be so happy to do so! I cant believe anyone would have the *COJONES* to say such thing! …. She is a freaking monster! ugh!  

Post # 46
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you didn’t lose your shit on her right then and there, you’ll be a good mom, someday.  Either to your own kids or the neighbors or your neices and nephews.  Take care of yourself, surround yourself with supportive people, and forget that hateful bitch. 

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