(Closed) NWR: 'It's probably a good thing that you have to abort.'

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
2248 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

@minniemluv:  I’m with you 1000 fold on never speaking to her again. That is the most insensitive horrible thing she could have said. Cancer is horrible enough, cancer with a pregnancy that has to be aborted is 50 million times worse. There is no excuse in what the mother said. I get breast feeding is important, but this is not a choice.

Post # 78
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

WOW I am SO sorry! That was SO horrible of her to say! I’m sure this is not an easy choice for you.. You are doing what is best for you and your hubby right now, and thats what matters! I’d say she’s lucky if you EVER speak to her again!!

Post # 79
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@MrsRs:  This is SO FAR from a selfish decision.  You’re doing something incredibly painful in order to make sure that you don’t short change your child by being unable to give it the love and attention it deserves in the first years of life, or, you know, *dying* and leaving it without a mother at all.

I guess it’s good to know now that this awful woman will not need or want to interact with your future beautiful bottle-fed children.

Post # 80
Bee
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Oh wow, that is so sad. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Post # 81
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

OP, I am so sorry that you’re going through this. You’ve been treated horribly at a time when you should be supported and granted confidence from those around you. So glad that your DH is standing by your side in this.

Remember that you ALWAYS have the support of the Bee.

Post # 82
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry that she said that to you. 🙁 That was an incredibly out of line, rude, bitchy thing for her to say. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this, and I know that can’t be an easy decision to make. Best wishes to you and your DH, I wish you a speedy recovery.

Post # 83
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so so sorry hun. My heart is breaking for you.

And I have no words for your bitch Mother-In-Law. HOnestly though, it sounds like something my mother would say (only the opposite since she liked to rag on my sister for how long she BFed my nephew!)  If she is anything like my mother, the best way to deal with it is to ignore their stupid remarks.  Nothing you can do will make them not be a socially moronic biatch!  And, if you try to call them out, they defend themselves for days.

You need to surround yourself with positive, supportive people right now and she is not one of them.  She’s not worth your limited energy right now.

I wish you the best for a quick and complete recovery.  You’re a very brave woman. 

Post # 84
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

Oh my god.  My heart breaks for you.  How DARE she say something like that to you.  You have every right to be furious as well as deeply saddened by her outrageous comments.  I cannot imagine what you are going through right now and so I can only offer you my sympathies and thoughts.  <hugs>

Post # 85
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I think everyone’s already said what needs to be said, so I just want to wish you a good recovery and good health.  We are all here for you!

Post # 86
Member
6430 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wish I could punch that woman in the face! What a horrible thing to say, especially with everything you’re already going through. I’m so sorry 🙁

Post # 87
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsRs:  Oh I am so sorry. I know people who’ve had to deal with those issues (mastectomy, and aborting a wanted child) and they’re hard enough on their own. To have to do both, I cannot comprehend. Huge (((((hugs))))))

Surround yourself with your family’s love, and keep your horrible Mother-In-Law out of your life for as long as you want. Your reaction is 100% justified.

Post # 88
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsRs:  I am so, so sorry you have to battle cancer when you should be enjoying a potential pregnancy.

I am also so sorry your Mother-In-Law is a horrible, heartless, self-appointed Queen of the World MONSTER.

You have too much on your plate already. I hope things smooth out quickly, and remember–You’re going to beat this! And after, you’re going to have a beautiful and wonderful family and live happily ever after!

Post # 89
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am so, so sorry you are dealing with this. Please know you have our support here on the Bee.

I don’t know you personally, but I am absolutely appalled at what that woman said to you. I call bullshit on her “mothering instincts.” Her mothering instincts should have kicked in to offer support to you, her daughter-in-law. Her comment was absolutely disgusting and you are an amazing person for simply getting up and leaving. I don’t know if I could have handled myself as gracefully as you did. I’m glad your husband and family are supporting you. You need to focus on you. Cut her out if you need to–that comment was absolutely unacceptable.

Post # 90
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@badabing88:  you took that word right out of my mouth.  If there was ever a time for that word, I believe it is now.

Just today one of my employees told me that a friend of hers had size F breasts.  They were hurting her so badly that she decided to go in for a reduction. The doctor, yes DOCTOR told her that she was being incredibly selfish, as she would probably not be able to breastfeed in the future, and that if she was planning on children, she should wait and suffer through the pain for as many years as it took.  SERIOUSLY what is wrong with people when it comes to breast feeding?

I could not breast feed due to issues after my daughters birth.  I lost all of my milk.  You know what, she’s a very healthy 8.5 year old, imagine that!  With formula feeding even!

Your Mother-In-Law is way off base and out of control.  I don’t know if I could speak to her again without losing my shit on her.  I am so sorry for the painful and heartbreaking decision that you have had to make.  Good luck on beating this, and in having beautiful healthy (formula fed) babies in the future.

Post # 91
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please ignore the negative people and only let in positive people thats what you need right now. **HUGS**

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