(Closed) NWR: Just as much hate towards skinny girls as there is towards fuller figured.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 197
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is kind of late but… I feel that people should not be rudely commenting about being too skinny or too large.

Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion but the people who skinny/fat bash just make themselves look stupid.

Why can’t we all just love each other as we are? Which is BEAUTIFUL. We are all beautiful. Period.

Post # 198
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

These are some really interesting points that come up here, but here’s my $0.02

Let me start off by saying that I may or may not have made an offer to mail the DB Vera Wang White collection models a sandwich a few weeks ago. No, it’s not necessarily nice, but I also feel it is somewhat different than name-calling to a real person. After models’ pictures have been re-touched, I don’t view the pictures as photos of real people. The second they are altered, they become fantasies. They no longer depict a natural image.

Yes, the models likely are real girls with thoughts and feelings, etc.  However, it is one thing to facetiously name call at a naturally thin friend, and it is another thing to display extreme exasperation at the modeling industry when trying to find a wedding dress. The rail thin (naturally or otherwise) women are the outliers, and it seems logical to become frustrated at trying to find “THE dress” after reading countless of articles on what to look for based on your body type, only to see every dress displayed on a person with very few curves.

For the very thin women here, it is probably equally as frustrating to go try these dresses on, only to find out that the samples were actually manufactured for larger, probably curvier women. And you probably have heftier alteration bills. Nobody wins.

Basically, the media sucks. It’s rife with double standards, and it has made perfection unattainable. If you’re skinny, it’s because you’re being unhealthy. If you’re fat, it’s because you don’t know when to stop eating. If you’re average, you’re terrified of being fat and always trying to get skinnier or more toned, or something. Because we are never, ever allowed to feel perfect as we are.

Post # 199
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@MightySapphire: You make a good point with the Calista Flockhart thing. (Katie Holmes also gets things like that too!)

However, I disagree that it’s not acceptable to publicly criticize overweight people. Look at the tabloids the next time you’re at the store, and you’ll probably see at least one (if not more) of them with a cover containing an unflattering image of a celebrity saying something to the tune of “She weighs HOW much?” And look at Adele! She has the most amazing voice, but even she gets chided for being curvaceous.

I’m not saying it’s okay either way, but I think there are probably more examples of public displays of disapproval at the bigger end of the spectrum.

Post # 200
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I have so many opinions about this thread, that I’m not going to voice at the risk of sounding rude, but I did have to jump in and respond to the PP who stated that it was a “simple fact that fat women are more accepted than skinny women” (or whatever the wording was). This is just such a ludicrous statement. Seriously. Are you kidding? Blech….

If that statement is true, when I walk into Vera Wang or Amsale or Mark Ingrham in January to try on dresses, I should be able to try on any sample that I want and it should fit my size 12-14 top/16-18 bottom just fine. I’ll let you know how that goes…

Post # 201
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m sad that this post became a battle of who has it worse, instead of finding common ground.

I do have to agree though, walking into a store and trying on clothes in your size should be a given for everyone. 

Post # 202
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

Yup. I remember a dress thread I started where I was saying how huge the size 12 was that I was trying on and it was hard for me to judge how it would fit my frame.  Well appar. leaving out the words “on me” in that was a huge deal and insulted all the size 12 people on there.

But when I quickly pointed out that I didn’t mean it that way and funny how when alllll the threads on WB are posted about how SMALL sample sizes are and how they should carry them for ‘real brides’ who have curves, no one says a thing ill of those threads, and I was completely dismissed. The posters who were giving me hell didn’t have a single retort for that valid point.

 

Post # 203
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It’s a slippery slope with hurt feelings and frustrations on all sides. I hope the media and fashion industry can someday be changed and not just as another trend takes precedence.  I think it has to start with women refusing to judge each other by any standard other than what is healthy for that individual.

From a different weight discussion, but so well said:

Treejewel19 wrote: As long as women continue to compare and judge others by what works for them this argument will never die and the criticism and misinformation will continue to be perpetuated.

Post # 204
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@agirlwithdreams7:  I am right there with you!  I always have people saying “Oh, you’re so thin, eat a sandwich”  IT PISSES ME OFF.  In college I was actually accused of being bullemic by someone I thought was a friend who then decided to spread the nasty rumor.  I always eat, and a lot of times can eat quite a bit.  I have a very fast metabolism and thyroid problems run in the family.  My mom is 3″ taller than me and only weighs 7 lbs more than me.  I am SO SICK of the flack that skinny girls get.

 

So glad you posted this!

Post # 205
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@RhubarbPie: Just saying, it would be cool if us size 00-2 girls could do that too. In my time dress shopping, I was able to try on one dress that actually fit. It is not just plus-sized women who are unable to fit in the samples, it is everyone who is not a size 10-12.  Which is pretty much everyone. 

Post # 206
Hostess
11161 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@jjmomma: Wow, I am glad that my feelings on the matter were so meaningful to ladies…it appears it was. Thank you!

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@Leprechaun: I agree with what you are saying which I why I wrote the statement that
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jjmomma re-posted. Whether you represent the upper end of the sizing scale or the lower sized end we are fighting the same fight against society (and fashion) and this isn’t an us versus them scenario.

All women are judged for their weight and size by someone regardless if you are a 00 or a 24. For my personal experience and frame of reference as someone who lost a significant amount of weight I will tell you that the difference in customer service and attention I recieve is SIGNIFICANT and absolutely undeniable now that I am a smaller size. However, that is my frame of reference and I would never use it to belittle anyones struggle…I would hope that all ladies thin or plus would do the same.

 

Post # 207
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe we should all quit talking about who has it worse and just recognize that everyone has their own experience and that it is tough for everyone. 

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@jjmomma: Exactly this. 

Just my two cents. 

Post # 208
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@Treejewel19:  You summed up an entire emotional debate in one sentence.  I hope we all walk away from this with that statement on our minds. 

Post # 209
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think this is a great post because we all see just how easily it is to hurt other people. I am overweight at 160 pounds but have never ever said anything mean about anyone thinner than me. I have to admit though, as sad as it is I do look at thinner women wishing I could look like them and hating myself more. I am sure that some underweight women do the same. It is definitely hard for me to admit I wish I didn’t look like me, but this thread has really made me take a hard look at myself and realize that I have a lot of issues about how I feel about the way I look. I definitely think there needs to be more support groups for women.

Post # 210
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

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@ThingsThatShine: I already said, I know that some girls are comfortable in their skin.. but do you actually believe that society views fat as the new fit? Because you would be wrong my friend. 

The topic ‘NWR: Just as much hate towards skinny girls as there is towards fuller figured.’ is closed to new replies.

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