Post # 1
I am absolutely furious right now!
My Mother-In-Law took my daughter out for the day. I was completely fine with this and looking forward to a day at home- alone- so I could clean, do some errands and work on a semi- more fancy dinner than usual for DH.
She took my daugther to a clinic! To get checked up! I don’t know if I have any legitimate cause to being so pissed off but I am! There is absolutely nothing wrong with her! She went for a check up literally 2 weeks ago and everything was given the ‘all clear’.
When she dropped her off and then said this to me I almost completely lost my mind! I tried to keep it together long enough to put her to bed (she was tired!) but as soon as the door closed it was all sputtering and fuming! I think I basically said “WTH do you think you’re doing!?” Her explanation was that she just wanted to make sure for her own piece of mind. That’s the only thing I can honestly remember- there may have been other bits too but I think I blanked out I was enraged.
I mean- I think it makes me feel like she doesn’t trust me with DH’s and my daughter? That I’m not fit to parent? I’ve taken her to every scheduled appointment and have talked to other moms about some issues and have done my best. I think she’s bubbly and happy and healthy.
I talked to DH about this and I think he got the general idea of what happend (I was still fuming so I don’t think I was able to put feelings and events into words). And we’d talk later tonight.
Please bees, give me some advice on where to go from here? All I feel is rage and I think I hurt MIL’s feelings when I started blasting her for going to the clinic. I don’t want to make it worse.
Post # 2
Frankly I’m surprised they saw her without parental consent. You have a right to be pissed.
Post # 3
WTF? That is bizarre. I would call the clinic and ask why they saw a patient without your consent in the first place.
Post # 4
I would ask to have a conversation with her about this privately without your child present. Tell her calmly but firmly that she is not to pursue medical care for your daughter without your prior approval, except in a severe emergency. If such am emergency were to arise, she is to contact you immediately. This is a boundary that needs to be established, and your husband needs to back you up on it. If she has any concerns about your child, she needs to bring them up to you and/or your husband. I think you have a right to be angry about this. However, I would not just haul off and scream at her, because you dont want to further damage a relationship that is going to be lifelong. It would also be appropriate to mention that you were hurt by the fact that her actions make it seem that she is questioning your parenting skills.
Post # 5
That is unacceptable and I hope your hubby handles her. But did something happen recently that you can think of that would drive her to do this? Is she typically anxiety prone or something? The audacity. Sorry Bee.
Post # 6
Yeah, I’d be pissed. She wouldn’t be watching my child again any time soon.
Post # 7
You are absolutely right! As soon as I find out which clinic I will be finding out how and why they saw her without me there!
Post # 8
I agree that you should be pissed, and I think your DH should talk to her about it.
And although, yes technically the clinic should not have seen your daughter without your permission, I’m not surprised that they did. I have taken my grandchildren to the doctors office multiple times (with my daughter’s knowledge — usually just doing a favor for her), and no one has ever questioned it. I bet the clinic just thought she was acting on your behalf. Or that she had custody for some other reason.
Post # 9
She would never be left alone with my child again. EVER. And I would make sure she knew the reason why.
Post # 10
I thought this was going to be a story about how your kid was sick and your Mother-In-Law had her for the day or something and took her to the doctor… but that wasn’t at all what happened and you have every right to be mad. Let her have it!
Post # 11
Still, it’s really weird to do that. Did they even have her medical history? Or allergies, etc? This is just so strange.
Post # 12
That sounds… really messed up. She is not your child’s mother and has no right to interfere. I would permanently revoke any priveledge of hers to be alone with your child until the kid is older and big enough to tell her to bugger off.
Post # 13
This is so bizarre. Did she think something had happened to her? Did your daughter tell her something?
Post # 14
Wow. I have nothing to add. So sorry.
Post # 15
No. Absolutely not.
You need to get the name of that clinic and see why on earth they would see your child without your or your husbands consent.