Post # 1
I got married in March at the parish we had been going to for about two years. We continued to go to this church after we were married and were active in several organizations in our church. We felt like we were really a part of our church. We moved about ten minutes away from where we were living when we got married in September. We bought a house. Of course we would have like to stay in the same area, but it was really just too expensive for us in that area. Additionally, we felt that apartment living wasn’t a good thing for us with the new baby on the way (due in Feb!).
I have had complications with my pregnancy. So my doctor prescribed bed rest. I called my church to ask them if someone could bring me communion at home as I won’t be able to attend church. Ever since I have asked for this, I keep hearing, “Don’t you want to start going to the church closer to you? This is just too far for us to come to give you communion.” It’s only ten minutes away!! They have come twice in the last month to give me communion and everytime it’s like this huge deal and they keep encouraging us to start going to the church closer to us. I feel so rejected! This is our church! My husband still goes there on Sundays.
Part of me feels like we should just start going to the new church closer to us. I feel horrible though. I really loved our parish and felt like we had made really good friendships and connections in the congregation. I felt like the priests knew us and were responsive to us and we just love the homilies every Sunday. I’m not really sure what we should do now. I certainly don’t want to go to a church where we aren’t welcome or where we are a burden. I was planning on having my baby baptized in this church!!
Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? Oh and btw: we called the closer church to see if we could at least get them to bring us communion and they said we should get our home parish to do this. I just feel so unwelcome anywhere.
Post # 3
A fine example of Christianity in action. Unfortunately, not practicing what they preach.
Post # 4
Have you tried telling them how this makes you feel? Or how much you love the church? That’s awful!
Post # 5
i would just forget all of it for now and focus on important matters at hand, but I realize for some people it’s not an option to not attend church Or be involved, by their own choice.
But this is coming from an atheist lol so I really can’t give any other advice.
Post # 6
@julies1949: I appreciate your response, but please understand that that’s not really my issue right now. I am Catholic/Christian. I don’t approve of how they handled it, but my spirituality/faith is very important to me. Again, though, I thank you for taking time to respond.
@crayfish: I have. And in a passive agressive way, when my husband came in the room (this was on one of the home visits), the sister who was administering the communion said, “Well, I guess since your wife doesn’t want to consider a new parish…” I don’t know if I should maybe talk to one of the priests?
@RockStar33: I appreciate your advice. Unfortunately, I’m going through a very hard time right now being on bed rest and my faith IS an important thing for me, particularly in helping me through this difficult time. That’s what makes this so difficult.
Post # 7
Have you tried reaching out to the priest or other leaders in the church?
Post # 8
Hey guys, so perhaps being snarky about the OP’s religious beliefs isn’t the best way to support her?
OP, your fellow parishioners’ actions are deplorable. I would suggest calling the priest and laying out to him very clearly what has been going on.
Also, if your husband goes there every Sunday, he should be able to bring you the eucharist back home. Just have him ask the priest for one of those holder-thingies (that’s official terminology, btw) and he should be able to minister it to you himself when he comes home from Mass. I know my grandmother does that for my grandfather who can’t make it through Mass anymore.
I’m sorry this has happened. People sometimes get caught up in their own lives and forget to take others into account. It’s an unfortunate part of the human condition. Remeber that the church is not a clubhouse for saints, but a hospital for sinners.
Post # 10
@greenviolets: I understand that but If your church isn’t willing to cooperate and the closer one wont take you, then really what option do you have?
Did you talk to them already About your feelings?
if I were in your position, pregnant on bed rest, and feeling unwanted by your church, I would just not worry about the whole church thing and focus on being healthy for your baby and not stressing about it. At least till the baby is born, then you can go back to normal. I’m sure there are other ways you can practice your faith at home without them.
just sounds like the church situation Is adding to your stress that’s all, and I would try to eliminate any stress till the baby is born.
Post # 11
@greenviolets: I’ve never had much experience with the church, so I might be missing some complexities about church-going, but maybe they’re honestly trying to be helpful? I mean, you’ve just moved, which is stressful enough, and now you’re on bed rest due to a complicated pregnancy… couldn’t they just be trying to ease your load, or letting you know they won’t be upset if you switch churches?
Either way, if you want to stay at your current church, I’d let them know how much their church means to you and how you want to stay a part of it.
Post # 12
I don’t think they’re trying to kick you out, persay . I think that with the move and complications, they think it might be better to attend a church that’s closer to you, and they’re handling it poorly.
I would stand your ground if you really want to continue with this church. Keep asking for communion, and keep telling them how committed you are to this parish. I know how important a good parish is, and if you truly love it, don’t let this push you out of it.
Post # 13
I was thinking that your husband could bring it to you, too. Do you have an objection to that?
Post # 14
@RockStar33: That advice is self-centered, insensitive, and unhelpful. She already stated that she is going through a difficult time and her faith and her church are very important to her, especially now.
Post # 15
@AdriannaJean: This is a great thing to remember! And thank you for the suggestion. I had not even considered that option. I will call the priest and ask if this is something they can arrange.
@MrsWishyWashy: No, I hadn’t yet, because I was just hoping this wouldn’t continue to be a problem. I will probably consider that now.
@RockStar33: But the “whole church thing” is an intergral part of who I am and how I handle stressful times. Again, I appreciate your advice, but I think that maybe you and are on different pages.
@acciotoni: I have let them know that it’s important to stay at the parish I am at. Honestly, it’s part of the support system, you know? All of the organizations we are a part of continue to call/email/pray for us, and I appreciate it.
But a big part of the Catholic faith is communion.
@abbie017: Thank you! I will definitely stand my ground. It has taken me a long time to find a parish that I’m comfortable with.
Post # 16
@RedAngelDreamer: No, I think this is a great idea! I am going to talk to him about this today and see if we can’t get this done. 🙂