Post # 1
My darling so’s best friend in the world died last week, instantly and for seemingly no apparent reason. He wasn’t ill, he was a fit and healthy man and he just collapsed and died.
We still aren’t sure what happened, awaiting the results of the post mortem, but the signs point to a heart attack. He was just 30 years old. And was suppose to be getting married.
It has shaken our world and we are still in shock. But it has put SO much into perspective for me and my SO. Waiting to get engaged has all of a sudden become a moot point. It no longer matters to me that I am waiting. I would wait happily forever if I means I never have to go through our friend’s fiancée must be going through right now.
In a bitter sweet irony my SO is now keener than ever to marry me- he has said on a few occasions this week that he doesn’t want to wait anymore and he doesn’t know why he’s taken so long to get married. I imagine our engagement will now be a low key and understated affair and it doesn’t seem right to do it any other way.
I am therefore going to step away from the boards for a while. I no longer feel like I’m “waiting” I’m somewhere in between and I can’t bring myself to vent about something I am lucky to still have in front of me.
That is not to say that I don’t still sympathize with you ladies, waiting is horrible, especially when you love someone so much and I wish you all the luck that you’re able to annouce your engagement soon. But please all take a moment this weekend to love and appreciate your SO completely with or without being someone fiancee.
Post # 3
Take all the time you need. I’m going thru something similar. I don’t talk on here much about it cause well it just hurts. We have a family member who is very, very sick. For the last few weeks, we have all pretty much been on watch- if you know what I mean. Coupled with losing four family members last year. It has defintely made me question putting off our plans for all these years due to budget, what I want vs what I need, my vision etc. When things like this happent its makes all my fussing over details feel so trivial. You so right. Everyday given with our SO’s is a gift. It iso easy to take it for granted. Best of luck you guys.
Post # 4
So sorry to hear that you both are going thru this. It is a sad part of life that you never know when it will all end. My DH’s best friend died a few years ago, at the age of 28. He had a blood condition that was stabilized as long as he was on his medication, but due to financial troubles he stopped taking it and never told anyone. He didn’t have to die, it was totally preventable so I think my Darling Husband felt a little guilty that he didn’t know. It was very hard on him and still can be. I was also “waiting” at the time and it really just made me be thankful everyday that I still had him with me.
Post # 5
@WaitingweddingBE: I am sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing…sometimes I need a reminder that tomorrow is not promised and to love and appreciate my SO in the moment.
I shouldn’t need this reminder because my ex (who I loved dearly, and still care for) almost died in a car accident 5 years ago. He was in a coma for a month, and in the hospital for a year. I experienced first-hand how we are not in control of our lives and things can change in an instant. He also proposed to me from his hospital bed.
It is interesting how situations like that put everythig into perspective. Tragedies or have a way of making men realize what they have, to the point of wanting to propose sooner. I guess that can be a good thing.
All the best to you two 🙂
Post # 6
I’m so sorry to hear about this… Things like this really do put a lot into perspective. Life is so short to be getting upset over trivial things, but we all find ourselves there at one time or another. You & your SO are definitely in my thoughts.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii
*hugs* to you and your SO during this tragic time. We’ll miss you on the boards and I hope every day with your guy is full of love and adventure.
Post # 8
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
Post # 9
So sorry for your loss.
Would this not make marriage seem like something that you want to happen even sooner, though? Watching someone die while waiting to get married would make me want to get married even faster to not let that time slip away. I’m glad you had the opposite reaction, so as to give you some peace with the process. I think I would have had the opposite reaction, though! I mean, they only give hospital updates to family members. Can you even imagine your fiance or boyfriend dying in the hospital and them not being able to tell you anything??
Post # 10
My best friend passed away when I was 22 and a new mother. It has been seven years and to be honest, it is still painful. It’s not something that you ever get over.
My daughter’s father was not supportive of me during this time. He told me to “suck it up” because there was nothing I could do to bring her back.
Hug him tight. Let him know how much you love him. Sit in silence with him if that’s what he needs. Be prepared for it to truly hit both of you in a few weeks. A lot of people will tell you to remain strong for him but I know that is incredibly difficult. The best thing you can do for him is to just be there. Make sure he eats.
I am so sorry for your loss and I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Post # 11
That’s horrible! I’m really sorry. I don’t really have any advice, but I did want to offer my condolences to the two of you.