(Closed) NWR – need advice or support. Dad hasn’t had a job for over a year.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

For now I would let them deal with it, but I would consider looking for any leads for him you might know of. Even if they don’t move, he needs a job–and if they do move, he needs one in your city. See what you can find, and then broach the topic with your mom. Something we have here is also retraining for jobs–like unemployment will pay for it. Could your dad’s state do that?

And I feel you on barely having ends meet, because I’m in the same boat, but if my parents have been having a rough week, I send them cookies. Plastic baggie them and put them in a small box and Priority Mail usually only costs like $3 plus a little flour, sugar and butter… it’s a pretty easy way to cheer them up a bit! My mom lost her job last year, so I feel you. She has been in training for a new job though, thanks to the unemployment office paying for it.

 

Post # 4
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It really sucks, but you really can’t do a lot for them. They have saved up a lot of money and really, it’s there for emergencies. It may be being used for the original intnetion (retirement) but he’s very lucky to have it. A lot of people don’t even have that!

Selling the house isn’t necessarily a bad thing–try to help them see the positive that could come out of it (if they’re discussing their finances with you, that is). They say it’s ideal to have your mortgage paid off by the time your’e mid-50’s….not that it doesn’t suck majorly, but maybe it is a blessing in disguise to sell the house and move into something more cozy. It’ll allow your father to comfortably retire without stressing over the mortgage, right? If they bring it up to you, just try to make it sound like it could turn out to be a good thing, whatever decision they are making. I’m sure it’s especially hard for your dad (well if he’s anything like my dad) to admit failure to his child or not met his own expectations. But instead of lamenting about the situation, sometimes even a parent needs some encouragement and seeing the positive side of things. Maybe then it won’t seem like such a horrible decision, but perhaps a blessing in disguise?

I think laboroflove’s idea of sending them some cookies is great! Or banana bread/muffins…=]. Both say “i’m thinking of you” but not in a spendy way…Could you head down for a weekend to visit them? And as much as your So wants to visit your parents in person and see them, it just doesn’t sound feasible. He may have to be a little more flexible considering the situation.

Post # 5
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh, and I should say… I’d let your mom bring up anything you want to say to your dad to him, instead of you. he might not like that your mom has been talking about it. Guys can get super sensitive.

And if you send baked goods… Don’t don’t DON’T say they’re perishable. They always try to charge you more/make you not send them. Cookies are easiest because they’ll hold up in heat and not.. um… mold quickly. 🙂

Post # 6
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really would not get involved with this.  It sounds like they are doing things to improve their situtuation and you giving them money won’t help them get a job.  Your dad needs to find a job before things are going to get better for him.

Post # 7
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

Well, almost being in his 60s, does he have a retirement to rely on?

The topic ‘NWR – need advice or support. Dad hasn’t had a job for over a year.’ is closed to new replies.

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