NWR: Need some support

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

It sounds weird, but they DO tell you when it’s time. 

Post # 3
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m so sorry bee. It’s a horrible thing to go through. It does sounds like given your dog’s age and terrible quality of life at this point, putting him down would be the most humane thing you could do. You have to keep in mind that pets are not humans; they don’t have the intellectual capacity to understand what they’re going through, and they also can’t tell us when they’re suffering, but that does’t mean they’re not in pain. What does your vet say about it? Have they talked to you about euthanasia yet?

I am in a similar situation, unfortunately. Our 9 year old cat was recently diagnosed with terminal nasal cancer. I thought he was in his prime and we’d have another 9 years with him if we’re lucky – getting this news was a horrific shock. At our last appointment a week ago, the vet said she estimates it will be one month before he quits eating (the tumor makes it hard for him to swallow), at which point it will be the end. So far his quality of life has remained good despite the fact that his face is looking increasingly disfigured due to the tumor. We’re treating him with CBD oil and he’s still eating a decent amount and interacting with us like he always did. He’s still the same cat who jumps up on the table and walks all over my laptop when I’m trying to work, and cuddles with us at night while we watch TV. But his tumor is growing quickly and he’s basically a ticking time bomb. I know the day is coming when we’ll have to put him down. It’s unthinkable but it’s there. I keep imagining dh and I in the room at the vet, holding him as they administer the meds to put him down…it’s such a horrible thing, but I truly believe it’s the right thing to do for a pet that is suffering with no hope of recovery.

Anyway, again, I’m just so sorry. Pets are truly family members and it is gut wrenching when we lose them.

Post # 4
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

I remember when I was quite young my first family dog got to about twelve, he had cancer, the vet told me, probably a bit too basically but I was about 9 and I remember it to this day while he still had a sparkle in his eye he was “good” and not ready to go, but as soon as the sparkle went it meant he was suffering too much and it was his time to go. I’m sure there was a much more scientific and medical reasoning as to why my beloved pooch lost the sparkle in his eye, but he did, and it was noticeable even to me, and that’s when the vet said it was time. I suppose the bright eyed look is a healthy dog and so to not be means he’s really not well. I dunno. I’m waffling now but at the time it helped me understand why my parents made the decision at that point and didn’t let him suffer any longer.

Post # 5
Hostess
3259 posts
Sugar bee

So, we had a dog who was like….in dog terms, the love of my life. My brother got him as a baby, he went to great lengths to train him, and not only was he a beautiful dog, he was smart as hell. But he was a big dog, and he aged faster than a smaller dog would have. It got so that his paws developed sores, which he would lick at, which then exacerbated the problem and made it worse even though of course my brother tried everything to get him to stop. He started having other health issues too, like arthritis, and a few other things, and ended up being in pain and taking a lot of tramadol. But you could still tell he was in pain. He loved to go on walks, go to parks, go out with you places, go to the lake and the river. It got to where he didn’t even want to go get his ball anymore.

This dog was like human smart. I’m serious. And did I mention he was crazy well trained? He followed voice commands, and hand signals, and we taught him code words to say for people who were threatening. That dog knew what was up. He could tell when you were sad, too. He wasn’t JUST A DOG. He was our family member, even though he was technically my brother’s dog. But my bro had a lot of issues, and Jack ended up spending time (like months at a time) with me, or with my parents. 

But his time came. He was just in too much pain. He knew it, and my brother knew it.

I’ve been through a LOT in my life. A lot of pain, a lot of tragedies, a lot of sad things. But Jack dying was one that hit me pretty hard. Like I said, he wasn’t a DOG. He was FAMILY. He grew up with us. We went through shit together.  I loved him more than I’ve loved a lot of people. I still miss him. They’re so innocent. All they really want from you is your love and attention, and some snacks. It’s hard.

You have to ask yourself how much pain he’s in and what quality of life he has. Don’t prolong that pain. You’ll know when it’s time. 

Im so sorry, Bee, and I would give you both a huge hug if I could. My heart hurts with yours. 💜

Post # 6
Hostess
3259 posts
Sugar bee

tiffanybruiser :  I’m so sorry, Bee. It seems so unfair that your cat’s life is being cut short like that. I have 5 cats, and had to put my 17 year old cat down when I was about….8 months pregnant. She had gotten so skinny, she was like a bag of bones. You could feel her spine through her fur, and her kidneys were shutting down. She wouldn’t even groom herself anymore. I know this may sound weird, but I mourned that she’d never get to meet my child. She’d been with me since I was 15. She was there for every other milestone, every single thing I went through, good and bad. We literally grew up together. 

I feel like you do. They’re not PETS. They’re FAMILY. 

Post # 7
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

des- :  Thanks bee. Your post really resonates with me as I’m currently eight months pregnant, and now it seems like Steve (our cat) may not even be around to meet our baby. I never would have imagined that – he’s freaking nine years old and has always been so healthy until now. Last night I was lying on the couch and Steve came and put his head on my belly when the baby was moving around and I about died…such a sweet memory.

It is crazy how fast cats lose weight when something is wrong. He dropped from a rotund 17 pounds to 10 pounds in the space of about seven months, and you can feel every ligament in his spine. It’s just dreadful. I keep hoping maybe he’ll miraculously get better…it’s crazy to me that he can seem so normal now (aside from the weight loss and increasingly weird looking face) and yet apparently will give up completely on life in just a few more weeks, if the vet is to be believed. Ugh.

Post # 8
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

Just wanted to offer you my support and condolences Bee. 

I am still torn in half from losing our amazing Kitty this past May. I wished so much for her to just fall asleep and not wake up. I absolutely didn’t want to have to actively decide to end her life. Sadly she was at a similar point to your puppy. She could hardly stand and walk. She stopped eating and drinking. She went to the bathroom on herself. Medicine was no longer helping (although we would have spent anything). 

We knew it was time, although it was such a horrible choice to have to make. You will probably know too. You will just look at your loved one and know that as much as you want to keep them with you forever that you can not for one second longer allow them to have even a moment more of discomfort. 

It wont be easy. I’m still heartbroken 4+ months later. I still cry (crying now typing this), but not as much. I still don’t want to get another animal any time soon. 

Hugs to you and your puppy. 

Post # 9
Hostess
3259 posts
Sugar bee

tiffanybruiser :  I totally understand. I’m not usually much of a crier, but I bawled my eyes out when we put her down. I still have her collar. She’d been with me through EVERYTHING else. It didn’t seem right for her to miss such a huge milestone. I just…wish she could’ve seen him. She was so old, she seemed like she would live forever. 

Your Steve may only end up getting 9 years with you, which again, seems so horribly unfair when they can live so much longer. But I can hear in your post how much you love him, and I’d like you to remind yourself that you gave him 9 years where he was spoiled rotten, and he had the best life anyone could’ve given him. 

Oh, and take pics of him with his head on your giant belly. You can frame that and show it to your baby one day, and tell him or her about Steve, who loved them and watched over them before they were even born. 💜

Post # 11
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

des- :  Well now you made me cry lol – I did take a bunch of selfies of us when he was on my belly last night so at least that is documented for posterity. I know the photos will be a comfort to me one day. Steve has actually only been with me for four years – he was a stray who showed up on my parents’ doorstep scrawny and malnourished when I was visiting one night and I decided to take him in after we couldn’t find his owner. I never imagined we’d only have four years together, but at least I know I gave him a loving home during that time, and the chance to experience having a family. And he has (and still is) giving me so much too…he’s the most gentle, patient, funny creature, such a constant source of joy and amusement in my life. In fact, Steve is singlehandedly responsible for turning dh from a cat hater to a cat lover – no small feat!

Anyway enough about me…OP if you’re still following I hope you know that if nothing else, you’re not alone with what you’re going through right now. <3

Post # 12
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

CinqueTerre :  Ugh it is just so unfair. Your poor baby.

I’m sure you realize this, but bee, there is a world of difference between killing a fly that’s annoying you in your home, and mercifully euthanizing your beloved pet when their qualty of life has been reduced to less than zero and they are in constant pain, and there is no hope that they will ever recover. I would talk to your vet some more about it; they might help you feel more okay about the decision. I totally understand how you’re feeling though, as I so badly wish our cat would pass naturally rather than us having to be the ones to instigate it, but with pets it rarely happens that way. At the ed of the day, I just don’t want my baby to suffer and I know you feel the same about yours.

Post # 14
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

I agree with a pp. He will let you know when it’s time and you will know as well. I had to put down my cat of 14 years a year ago in August due to cancer. Like many here have said, he was more than just a cat he was my family. I call him my soul kitty and I miss Asher every day. It was the first time I’ve had to make that decision and it was not an easy one. It never is. However, he let me know when it was time and I knew I was doing the right thing. I had the vet come to the house so that took away the stress of having to pack him up and take him to the vet, which he hated.

I’m so sorry you’re having to make this difficult decision. You will definitely know when it’s time. And if it’s possible I’d have someone there with you. Big hugs! 

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