- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
deleted for privacy reasons
deleted for privacy reasons
It’s not his money. It’s hers. She stated she wanted it deposited into her acct.
Don’t feel guilty about it. It’s not his.
(this might be out of line – but don’t give him any money in the future. I feel like he’s going to be hitting you up for stuff)
No you are absolutly doing the right thing, she asked that the money be put in her commissary account (which she’s going to need!!) so you, as HER friend need to do that.
You are doing the right thing by doing what she asked!
You are in the middle right now. If he has an issue with you doing what was requested, he needs to talk to her, not you.
@Leland: You are just doing what your friend wants and needs during a horrible time. Please don’t feel guilty! She is so lucky to have people like you by her side during all of this! He is obviously going through a really bad time, and it’s very reasonable to keep him out of the financial matters. All the best to you and your friend!
You’re doing the right thing by using the money for what she told you to use it for. You’ve promised to pay it towards her restitution, not to put her boyfriend on an allowance. The boyfriend can get a job or beg his girlfriend for money or go panhandle if he wants, but you’ve made no agreement to use her money in that way so don’t feel bad one bit!
You may also want to take the cash to your bank, deposit it into your own account, then draw out a cashier’s check payable to the commisary (call them first to make sure they accept a cashiers’ check). This not only keeps the money safe from getting lost, it gets you completely off the hook from the boyfriend because the check has already been cut and there’s no way he can borrow from it.
I agree – you are doing the right thing dropping the money off with her Mum, no question about it
He is not responsible with the money.
You are doing the right thing.
Agree with all the PPs, you’re doing the right thing. There’s no betrayal of trust when it comes to him, but there would be a betrayal if you didn’t do as your friend asked. And, I would follow through on her wishes ASAP.
You’re definitely doing the right thing! I would probably feel uneasy about the situation too. You’re being a good friend.
Thanks ladies, I really needed to hear these confirmations that I am doing the right thing. I am going to delete now for privacy reasons but thank you for taking the time to read and response 🙂
@Leland: You’re doing the right thing, you’re protecting your friend’s back. He may or may not would have stolen the money, but she entrusted it to you. You’re being a great friend to her. He’ll get over it. Once he sobers up he’ll probably be glad you didn’t give it to him, if he cares about her.
@GroovyHippieChick: I think you are right. The hitting me up for $20 didn’t bother me at the time (I was just feeling sad and sorry for him) but now that I realize he took more than I thought he was out of her wallet, I’m just irked. I might give him a ride here and there because he is still caring for her dog but I won’t give him any money at all. I have already set up a little fund that I will deposit small amounts of money into as a sort of “emergency fund” for her pet because he’s old and I want to ensure that he gets proper vet care, but all the vet bills will be paid by me!
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