Post # 1
So I got a call from my mom last night. She wanted to know when she could come over and talk to DH and I in person. She didn’t say what it was about, I got no hint as to if it’s negative or positive from her tone of voice and she wouldn’t elaborate, other than that she needs to see us in person. And it has to be both of us. She sees me every day at work (we work for the same company, same building, just different divisions). I can’t help but think that she has something awful to tell us, like she’s divorcing my dad or she’s dying or getting laid off or something….
On a side note, I’ve been terrified that my parents would be divorcing for a long time now and there’s been little things lately that have made me think this more. She often complains about things my dad does. She often stays late at work and has told me several times “Well when your dad’s not working and I know he’ll be home, I stay late.” Like why not save that for the days when he IS working? It’s like she’s purposly trying to avoid him! It’s making it hard for me to think that her little talk could be about something else…
Any advice for taking my mind off this until Saturday? It’s the first night that we all have available for her to come over and talk…
Post # 3
@futuremrste: I’m sorry you are worried!
I too tend to become anxious in situations like this and have learned to deal with it by admiting what I am most afraid the outcome will be, but immediately deciding how I will handle that situation. My DH helps to remind me that worrying is like praying for what you don’t want to happen. I know its very hard to do in the moment, but all the best!
Post # 4
@futuremrste: ugh! I HATE when someone does this to me. My only advice is trying to keep your mind off it. Do other stuff and when if comes to your mind just shake it off. It might not be worth the stress! I hope everything goes right!
Post # 5
@futuremrste: I’d be obsessing about this all week if I were you, but I think you’re assuming the worst and getting stuck on that! Is this the type of thing that your mom would really want to tell you and your husband at the same time instead of just telling you first? (Our families would tell each of us individually, but every relationship is different!) Just stay calm – if it’s something bad, worrying about it now won’t do anything except ruin more days for you. And if it’s something good, you just wasted all that time worrying about it! Try to stay busy and focus on work. The busier you are, the harder it’ll be to think about it.
Post # 6
@futuremrste: I’ve been there, heard that, and I hope to God that everything is ok. Please let us know that everything is ok. I’ll be thinking about you and your family and praying for you.
Post # 7
@futuremrste: That is so frustrating!! How are you NOT supposed to get freaked out???? I hope she’s at least coming over soon. I hate it when people are vague like that.
Post # 8
Thanks eveyone I’ll definitely keep you all updated. It’s the whole fact that she needs to tell DH and I at the same time that’s really bugging me. My parents (and especially my mom) love him, but for the life of me I can’t think of anything that they’d have to tell us both at the same time, except for something so devastating that my DH needs to be there for emotional support so my mom couldn’t tell me at work. Well I suppose they could be telling us they’ve won the lottery and are giving us like $1 million or something. But I think I would have heard about this, considering it’s major news if the winning lottery ticket is sold in our town, and I haven’t heard anything about that. And I’m pretty sure if she won the lottery she wouldn’t be at work. Which she is today. That’s really the only good thing I can think of that she might have to tell us. And TBH cancer or divorce or something are more likely…
She’s coming over this Saturday night. It’s going to drive me bonkers until then.
Post # 9
@futuremrste: oh gosh this would be driving me mad! sorry you’ve got to wait on this new, fingers crossed for good news
Post # 10
This would really bug me, too, because I also tend to worry and assume the worst. I would probably tell my mom that I’m going crazy imagining terrible scenarios and can she please just let me know in general what she needs to tell us — or at least assure me that it’s not something horrible.
Post # 11
Realistically, I doubt it’s health related. When it’s something that serious, you don’t wait a week, and I’d bet that she would tell you first since you’re her daughter. If they’re divorcing, there’s nothing you can do about it, and there’s nothing you could have changed. It’s their relationship and their choices. Regardless, she probably wants you both together so that she doesn’t get as bunch of questions later, it’s easier to tell you both at the same time. I’m assuming she’s not coming into work looking like she’s crying her eyes out throughout the night, so that would make me think it’s probably something personal, but she’s not devastated.
Post # 12
Hopefully it’s something simple that was not worth any stress.
Post # 13
Ugh, I’d hate to have to wait that long!
But I agree – if it was sth horrible like cancer, I don’t think she’d tell you now and have you worry yourself sick for a whole week.
I’d talk to her in your lunch break tomorrow and try to at least get sth out of her, like that you’re seriously worried and could she just let you know you don’t need to?
it does somewhat sound like your parents are having issues though.
Post # 13
Update: Sorry it took so long to update but I’ve been busy.
So it was a sort of bad thing, but something I already knew: my sister got kicked out of her nursing program at school because she missed too many days. And none of her missed days were her fault. She had gone away for a few days over the holidays and was supposed to be back home for the Saturday before school started back after winter break (started on the Monday) but got stuck in Toronto for 4 days due to weather issues. Then she had a severe panic attack at work and had to be hospitalized for 2 days. And there must have been a few other days or something that she missed. It really sucks because she was supposed to graduate this spring. I knew about it already though because she messaged me while she was in the hospital all upset that she was going to get kicked out because she missed too long. She should be able to still write some sort of licensing exam and be a nurse, she just won’t have her nursing degree. So not good news, but not unexpected or terrible super awful someone’s going to die news…
Post # 14
Kind of weird that your mother felt the need to tell you and DH together, in person. In our family my mother might send a text or email, and leave it to me to contact my sister. It sounds like your mother was being a bit dramatic.
p.s. It sounds like the school was rather inflexible and I hope they let her make it up and graduate eventually. (Though it does sound like she might have missed some days earlier which *were* her fault. And if I was on the verge of being kicked out of a course for non-attendance, I wouldn’t travel at all). Anyway I hope something gets worked out for her.