(Closed) NWR – Plans tonight – help me figure this out! Do I pick the girlfriend or FI?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think it’s a matter of you choosing your Fiance over your friend in this specific case. It sounds to me like you’re just exhausted and you could use some R&R at home. I would stay home with the Fiance, but you should make some effort when things get un-crazy to hang out with your friend.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have “those friends” and I am losing them. It really sucks. Sometimes it feels like knowing someone for years doesn’t mean anything once they get engaged or married.

Don’t be “that” friend. You can MAKE TIME for your Fiance this weekend. She invited you b/c she wants to see you…obviously she really REALLY wants to see you since she didn’t just say “ok” bout the money and let you slide =].

Be a good friend. I want to just go home and wind down, too, most nights….but if I did that ALL the time, I’d be a hermit! Sometimes I have to make myself go to happy hours with my friends (i often plan them so i know i won’t flake!). Is it easier to go home? Sure. Is that what I feel like doing? Yup, usually! Am I always grateful I went once I sit down and get my martini? You betcha. My mood is WAY better and I feel so much more refreshed. Sometimes going home and crashing isn’t as helpful as a nice dinner out =]

I’m not the best one to judge I guess…I haven’t seen the hubs in 5 weeks so i place my girlfriend friendships way up there and always prioritize them. I never want them to feel like I don’t *need* them anymore b/c i’m married. I figure I have the rest of my life to be with my guy and I’ll enjoy time with my friends whenever I can and juggle it. If you start blowing them off now (or politely declining) at some point, they stop inviting you out.

Post # 5
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

IT sounds to me like you just need to relax – and hanging out with Fiance would be totally fine for that. But make sure your friend didn’t pay for you to join her yet – or I’d be sure to go to that for a bit and then bounce to your Fiance to relax in some sweats afterwards!

Post # 6
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@EJS: Agree!  Go with your friend!  I feel like every month it’s harder and harder to get together with my friends.  They’re always busy, cancelling, etc.  I live with Fiance and I can always make time for him in the AM/at night/on weekends, etc.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sometimes I find that relaxing at home is not AS relaxing as having dinner with my friends. It’s mentally relaxing in its own way I guess….

I just know how discouraging it is to invite friends out and hear “oh i’m tired…i have a  headache…i want to see my Fiance….” etc.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sounds like it worked out! At least you tried =]. I’m the same way–sometimes what I *want* to do is hardly ever what I end up doing b/c I know it means so much to someone else to be there =]

Maybe meet her for brunch Saturday?? That’s still early enough that it doesn’t dampen any date plans with your Fiance =]

Post # 10
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

go with your friend! Fiance is fine with it, and it’s a slippery slope into never going out again.

The topic ‘NWR – Plans tonight – help me figure this out! Do I pick the girlfriend or FI?’ is closed to new replies.

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