(Closed) NWR: Presumptuous house guests

posted 9 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You can say no. Or at least say, I can have 2 people over, the rest will have to figure something out. I would think that it would be easier for these girls to just chip in and rent a hotel room together. It would be the right thing for them to do. They are adults now, so they can probably afford to stay at a hotel for a few nights.

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That’s a tough spot to be in. It’s very gracious of you to host them in the first place but the circumstances kind of suck. Maybe once they realize how cramped and uncomfortable they are going to be they’ll be more inclined to go stay with the bride?

Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Also, I wouldn’t let people I don’t even know stay at my apartment. It may be sad, but I don’t trust anyone. I have had stuff stolen from my apartment before by strangers that I allowed over. It’s not worth it. It is also rude of your friends to expect you to house them after the suprise. You may just have to be more firm about what you are allowing. If you don’t want to house strangers, you don’t have to.

Post # 7
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My guess would be that if they can afford to fly out there for the weekend they can definately afford to throw in for a cheap room. Hope that helps! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would definitely find a way to let them know they should find a hotel. I am assuming you live in Chicago? I have stayed downtown, and it is possible to find a reasonably priced hotel to split. Not that you have to, but maybe even go to hotels.com and find a couple hotels in the area to recommend to them? That way they can’t make excuses of trying to find a hotel and where it’s located and all that. Some people just take complete advantage of others! I hope this gets worked out, I would be upset also!

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

The situation has grown out of control since you originally agreed. You said yes out of the kindness of your heart in order to make the weekend special for the bride, but under different circumstances. Now you are being totally put out at her and the groom’s expense. It doesn’t sound like the groom is being very considerate of your space and generosity.

If I were you I would call him and totally back out of housing people. Just say that when you originally agreed, you thought it was only two of them for 1 night and since your place is small that was your maximum. Now that number has more than doubled AND they are planning on arriving in the middle of the night and staying all weekend. Tell him that not only would they be more comfortable in a hotel room, it is their only option as you don’t have enough room and aren’t okay with the arrival time.

Post # 10
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Guys are clueless.  He’s probably just not picking up on your hints.  Send him a blunt email saying you and your fiance aren’t comfortable housing people you haven’t met.  Say you can house the two people you initially agreed to but that the others are going to have to find somewhere else to stay.  I’m sure that these people have other friends in your big city.  Or all 4 or 5 of them should just get a hotel room to share.  What, that could cost like $200 divided by 5 people?  That’s not that much.

Honestly, just tell the groom that you spoke with your fiance about it and you are uncomfortable housing that many people in your small place especially since you don’t know them.

It will be better for him to find out sooner than later!

Post # 11
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

oh and if they can’t afford a hotel, tell them to look at the Arlington House Hostel in Chicago.  Or there’s always couchsurfing.com.  If these people don’t mind staying with you and you are a stranger to them then I’m sure they won’t mind staying with the strangers on couchsurfing.

Post # 12
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I agree with the others– now is a time for honesty. You can certainly be polite about it, but explain that you really can only do what you originally agreed to. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ugh. They are being totally unreasonable! But you are probably right that there is not much you can do about it now. At this point maybe just try to make the most of it and turn it into a really fun time so that you can enjoy it instead of being bitter. Maybe email the girls and ask them each to bring $20 for pizza/beer and their favorite game or movie. At least that way you won’t be expected to cover for food and entertainment too!

Post # 15
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Honestly, I really can’t believe the girls you don’t know are ok with staying with you! I would be extremely uncomfortable staying with someone I have never met! Like you said, you will just have to grin and bear it. Hopefully it won’t be too bad, and they will be out of the house except to sleep.

Post # 16
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, I don’t think I’d even want to impose on someone like that.  I mean I would feel uncomfortabel too.  How strange?  Gee, who would feel OK with knocking on a stranger’s door at 3am, with their bags in hand, and crashing in a totally strange place?

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