- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I’m feeling really embarrassed around my best friends and I don’t know how to get over the feeling.
Fiance and I went out with one of our Best Men to the bar where our other Best Man works, whose girlfriend also works behind the bar and our bartender BM’s family was hanging out at the bar with us, too. Basically everyone I know and consider close friends.
Someone put one of those crappy drinks (Smirnoff Ice or something) on the bar and I looked at it and said, “What’s this for?” And our Bartender Best Man said, “AH! You got iced!” I still had no idea what this meant, but basically, I was being told I had to get down on one knee and chug this gross drink. I was protesting, because I’m not a big drinker and I certainly don’t enjoy chugging. I did have a couple of drinks while I was there, but I drink at my own pace.
The whole time I’m protesting, comments about “How do you nok now what this is?” or “You HAVE to do it. You don’t have a choice.” are being made.
Bartender Best Man starts getting everyone at the bar to chant my name, even people I didn’t know and I felt so uncomfortable and got off the stool to start drinking, got down on one knee and basically had an internal freak out and was absolutely mortified about what I was doing. I was thinking, “I can either be embarrassed by what I’m doing, or embarrassed by stopping.” In that split second, I got SO MAD that at what I was doing, so I got up, slammed the bottle on the bar and said, “I’m not fucking doing this.” And sat down. Everyone got really uncomfortable and Bartender Best Man apologized and was like, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you’d react that way, I thought everyone knew what getting iced was.” At this point, I felt like his apology wasn’t very genuine and I wasnted more than anything else to leave. But instead, I blurted out something like, “Well, I’m sorry that I have a full time job and don’t know what Icing is, BRO.” It was something of a defense from feeling out of touch with my other friends who are also in their upper 20’s and feeling like I had to defend my reaction.
Apparently, my comment really pissed some people off, because I’m one of the only ones in our group with a steady full-time job. I didn’t really mean it the way it came out, but I felt like the whole ordeal was stupid to begin with.
I was upset the rest of the night, but tried to cheer up. We left and I saw everyone the next day at softball. I caught the group talking about the incident and when I came walking over, it was like, “everyone shut up,” which made me uncomfortable.
I guess this too shall pass. I just feel so embarrassed about what happened. I talked to Bartender Best Man and said, “I know you probably don’t think it was a big deal, but I was mortified.” He said, “I think that’s a bit over the top to say.” I said, “Well, maybe to you it is, but I felt embarrassed by what I was doing and then when I stopped drinking, I felt embarrassed by that, too.” He said, “Well, I’m sorry, I really didn’t think you’d react that way.”
I’m hoping this can all just go in the past now, but when does this embarrassment wear off? I feel a little out of touch, too. Like, I’m the only 27 year old who doesn’t know what getting iced means. In general, I think it’s stupid, which is probably the other problem – we don’t have as much in common as we thought.
I’ve known this guy since I was 12, so there’s really no excuse. I’m just frustrated by the whole thing.