(Closed) NWR: Really Embarrassed!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Umm no I don’t know what being iced means either. I hate publicly embarassing situations like that!!! You’re better than me though, I would have just chugged it.

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My 2 cents: they were acting like high schoolers. You tried to be polite and say no. They wouldn’t let it go and wanted to force you to binge drink. I can’t blame you for snapping at all. Don’t beat yourself up over this. They are completely to blame for any uncomfortableness. The awkwardness will pass, though. Just focus on what common ground you do have with your friends.

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry you had to get angry before they’d shut the hell up.  There’s no law that you have to do anything.  I know what being iced is, but I still wouldn’t do it for the simple fact that it’s not my type of thing.  Good for you for stepping up for yourself.  I hope this passes soon!

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s understandable that you didn’t know what getting “Iced” was but I think you should get over being embarrassed.  It was at a bar, everyone was having a good time, and I am sure he didn’t mean to intentionally upset you.  And like he said, he didn’t know you’d react that way.  He apologized so stop feeling embarrassed and move on.   Sorry if that was harsh. 

Post # 7
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Um, I’m 30 and I have no idea what being iced means, and I still don’t after reading your story. But I’m totally the kind of person who says shit I don’t mean on the fly and then I have to apologize or feel like a total ass for it aftewards. So if you know you offended anyone in particular, I would just be like hey I’m sorry if I offended anyone. I was so caught off guard and didn’t know what to do and my defenses were up and I just kind of threw a fit. I didn’t really know what to do.

And eventually they’ll forget about it, or it will become a joke and no one ever will forget about it but they won’t be mad at you for it.

Post # 8
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I may have missed something in your story, but did you ever just say “no, I don’t want to” or did you go straight to “I’m not f-ing doing this”  If so, I think you kind of over-reacted.  I’m a 29 year old with a corporate job, and I know what icing means, but even if I didn’t, I would just be like, whatever, I don’t want to do it, and blow it off.

As a comparison, my sister doesn’t take shots.  She got really sick once in college and doesn’t do them anymore.  She sometimes gets put in a situation where people are egging her on.  She either pawns it off on someone else, or pretends to drink it, and dump it in a glass or something.

Post # 10
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had no idea what “being iced” meant, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to binge drink on command!  It seems a bit silly that people would push so hard after seeing you felt uncomfortable. 

I’ve said things out of anger before too…and sometimes they don’t come out sounding the way that you mean them to sound.  Maybe just explain that you weren’t putting down those who didn’t have full-time jobs, you were just embarrassed and felt singled out since you didn’t know the party lingo?  Hopefully it smoothes over soon!!

Post # 11
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

im 25 and have no idea what being iced means! I also probably would have done the exact same thing you did, started just becuase I was being egged on, got pissed and ended up yelling at someone.  You’ve already tried to apologize for your behavior, now you just have to let it go.  =)

Post # 12
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do think the comment about the job was over the top.  Having a full-time job doesn’t mean you don’t know about drinking games (although I get your point, being that you don’t drink all the time because of the job and responsibilites) – but if I were there, I’d find what you said to be highly offensive (mainly because I do work full-time, go to grad school after that, and know what icing is). Even if you were embarrased, you basically insulted every person you were there with.

But yes, it will pass, people will get over it, and things will go back to normal.  In the mean time, I’d just apologize to everyone, and maybe buy yourself a Smirnoff Ice next time you’re out as a joke to lighten the mood…

ETA: Sorry, I come across poorly in this.  I do think what they did was wrong and you should never be forced to drink, no means no, all of that jazz.  But on the other hand, I get the hurt feelings on the other side.  I guess, don’t be embarrassed by protesting something that upset you, and move on from it..

Post # 13
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

What a disgusting drink. I’d have tossed it across the room before someone coerced me into drinking that shit. 

Post # 14
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@hotchildinthecity:  ”  I was protesting, because I’m not a big drinker and I certainly don’t enjoy chugging.  I did have a couple of drinks while I was there, but I drink at my own pace. “

 

Post # 15
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is on them, not you.  Don’t be embarrassed.  They should be embarrassed.

Who does that to someone?   These are grown adults? 

Post # 16
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

It probably wasn’t meant in a mean way or to embarrass you, if the Best Man is a bartender he is probably used to joking around and people know ing what being “iced” is and was just playing around. I think it was a lighthearted joke and they may just be a little shocked at the reaction. I’m sure they’re used to the ‘oh no, I’m not drinking that’ but after some chanting the person would give in. So your reaction probably threw them. I would just apologize and say you had a rough day and didn’t mean anything by it.

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