Post # 1
I am still in shock as well. My step daughter’s (to be) best friend hit a pedestrain yesterday afternoon and he died this morning. They have been best friends since elementary school, through middle school, high school and are going to be college roommates even. They are like sisters and are 99% of the time inseperable. They leave for college in 3 weeks. Her best friend is like another daughter at our house (I have known her the last 5 years).
Apparently even all the witnesses say that he ran across the very busy 6 lane (3 each way) major street not in a cross walk and she was NOT speeding. She said she didn’t even see him until he hit her car. Car is totalled. It was on the news.
She is completely a mess. I was the first one to read the breaking news online this morning about him dying. I text SD and told her and she was with BFF who was asleep and none of them knew yet. Needless to say, this is going to alter her life forever.
I’m still in shock. I know it wasn’t her fault. Even comments on all the news websites from witnesses say it was not her fault, yet her life is changed forever. I don’t even know what to do for her, her family. I told SD just to be there for her and of course have her parents seek counseling for her asap.
Of course, I’m heartbroken for the man that was hit and my prayers go out to his family.
At a loss here…what can i do? say?
Post # 2
A friend of mine hit a pedestrian under similar circumstances over a decade ago. She hit the person and another friend witnessed it because they were following behind her. It is something we as a group if friends know about it- but we never speak of it. I honestly don’t know how she deals with it. I’m so sorry this happened to your daughters friend. She should get some counseling.
Post # 3
sharksgrl99: Oh, what an awful and terribly sad situation. I don’t really have any advice, but wanted to say that if nothing else, she is lucky to have such supportive and caring people in her life as you and your step daughter. You sound like you’re prepared to be there for her and help her through what will most likely be the hardest experience of her life, and that is probably the greatest thing you can offer her right now.
It sounds like a good idea to encourage the professional counselling as quickly as possible but in the meantime, just being there for her and allowing her to go through all the emotions as they come is probably the best you can do. She will likely need people to help her keep on track with the simple self care things, such as eating properly and getting some sleep, while she processes the grief.
My thoughts are with you all.
Post # 4
sharksgrl99: Just a quick extra thought as I re-read the end of your post – in terms of what you can say, maybe don’t feel like you need to address the incident itself (i.e discuss the details, tell her it’s not her fault etc.) but rather just emphasise and keep reminding her that you are all there for her, no matter what, and that you’re going to help her through it. I think that’s what I would find comforting – knowing that I had the unconditional support of my friends and family. If she wants to discuss more specific things, I’m sure she will initiate the conversation.
Post # 5
eeniebeans: Thank you. I agree with not saying anything specific. Do you recall how you dealt with it when it originally happened?
Miss_Mae: Thank you. Yes, they were able to get her in to see someone today.
This is so hard. My heart is going out to all involved. It all feels so surreal.
Post # 6
sharksgrl99: What happens in a case like this? Is it considered vehicular manslaughter? Will she be charged? I think you are doing all you can by being there for support as its needed.
Post # 7
somethingblue04: I have no idea. She is 17. They are still investigating asking for all witnesses to come forward and trying to determine his location and her speed, etc. This is so crazy. SD text me saying she has just been hysterically crying all day and freaking out. Hoping to find out more info tonight.
Post # 8
sharksgrl99: at the time it was a bit of a whirlwind. My friend was briefly jailed, but the authorities ultimately decided to not press any charges because it was ruled the pedestrian was at fault and basically unavoidable for my friend. She dealt with it very privately with her family and boyfriend. I suppose it is odd because my husband (of 4 years) had heard the story before from another source, we recently saw her at a BBQ at only then did he finally make the connection it was her in the story- that is how much we DONT talk about it.
Post # 9
The poor girl… both of them as I’m sure your SD is so upset also. You may want to get your SD into see someone, just as a check to see how she’s coping. My brother was in a car accident with his friends in HS, no one died but one guy was seriously injured. My parent’s got my brother into see someone ASAP as the guy injured was his best friend, and my parents wanted to make sure he had his own head wrapped around this before being there for someone else. It gave my brother two hours to cry and yell and then be there for his best friend. You can just be there for the family, drop off dinner maybe, see if there are any errands that you can help out with, just your presence will be a help. I’m sure the girls parents are devistated.
Post # 10
Oh my god, I can’t imagine 🙁 So sorry!
Post # 11
Just make sure she knows you still love her and that this doesn’t change how you feel about her. I’m really sorry this happened 🙁