Post # 1
Hi Ladies, sorry in advance, this is a little long.
I guess this will be mostlly a rant or whatever as I just need to get this off of my chest. Background: I currently do not have my own personal laptop. It’s really never an issue bc I have one provided by my employer that I use for the majority of my laptop needs. I also have work provided Ipad as well as my phone so, I rarely need a computer.
I have an interview tomorrow (like I’m not stressed enough) for an excellent job that would give me a HUGE bump in salary and much less travel. I needed to print a few copies of my CV for said interview so I simply emailed the word doc to myself from my work laptop and printed it off on my DH’s laptop in our office. The entire process from opening his laptop, printing resume to closing laptop took less than 2 min. I only went to my yahoo, clicked on the email, downloaded my file, printed (didn’t even save it) closed browser and shut the lid. nothing seemed fishy with the computer (which has had performance issues in past) everything went along speedily.
Few hrs later, DH went up to start editing some photos of a shoot he did Friday (he’s just starting out w paid shoots for maternity, engagement, etc.) He came down a few min later with the angriest look Ive ever seen saying, “what did you do to my computer, WTF.” I told him what I used it for, and asked what problem was. He said the screen is black and it won’t turn on. I called my BIL who’s in IT and asked him to troubleshoot but the few things he asked me to do unfortunately did not resolve the issue.
I’ve begged DH for forgiveness though I don’t know what I did that could have caused this. I said I’d pay for the computer to be looked at and for his files to be recovered from the hard drive (that’s what my BIL said could be done.) I told him to pick out a new laptop and that I’d pay for it to replace the one I’ve ruined. I can’t do anything more. He must not have been backing up his files onto external hard drive (whcih he has) and he deleted the pics from his SD card once he loaded onto computer.
He’s saying the trash the dress session from Fri is gone, as well as a ton of his other photos that haven’t been backed up. If there is any bright side to this it’s that the trash the dress session was w our friend and her husband and she really didn’t trash the dress. She went in to about ankle deep in the ocean so the dress was mostly just sandy/wet. The dress was alread stained on the bodice from a previous spill so it’s honestly not much worse than before. I told him I’d pay to have her dress cleaned as well as her hair and makeup and that he can just re-shoot them to replace the last session.
He won’t talk to me. I apologized 50 times. I told him I’d take the laptop in to a repair place in the am since I don’t have to be at my interview until 3. He says he will take it himself and that I can never use his laptop again. I am heartbroken here. I honestly feel that the computer has been f’d up for a while now, BIL has worked on it before but regardless I’ve taken the blame, owned up and offered to replace what I can. I was only printing a dam CV so that I can hopefully make more money and make our life better but he’s acting like I was watching freaking porn or virus infested videos. If anyone has any advice on what I can do to rectify this situation or anything I’d appreciate it.
Post # 3
Um, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your FI is acting like a psycho. He needs to get over it.
Post # 4
@MrsOrange: bee, he sounds like a major asshole.
I get it that he’s mad, but this is SOOOO CHILDISH! You’re his wife and he should trust you to use his things. And it’s very obvious that this is the computers problem, not yours. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
Post # 5
Doesn’t sound like you did anything. It’s probably just a fluke it happened after you used it so tell him to back off! I wouldn’t feel too bad there’s nothing you can really do. It’s just a computer.
Post # 6
@MrsOrange: This is your husband’s fault for not backing up his photos.
ETA: He deleted them from his SD card without backing them up???????? THAT WAS STUPID!! I don’t even do that with casual snaps. I always back them up onto DVD before I delete from the SD card. To do this with important photos really beggars belief.
Something weird happened (which may or may not have been your fault, probably wasn’t), and it is your husband’s fault for not backing up his photos. End of story.
Post # 7
@MrsOrange: I get that he’s mad and he’s entitled to take his little bitch fit. But, he shouldn’t take it out on you. From what you said it doesn’t even sound like you did anything wrong? He’s acting like a compl te child.
I feel you, tho. I’m waiting for FI to come home so I can tell him I broke the bathtub. 🙁
Post # 8
In all honesty, your husband needs to take some of the responsibility here. He has no proof that you touching his laptop is what caused this. His computer was already having a lot of issues, and it dying could very possibly have nothing to do with you printing a document. I think you’ve already done everything you can. You are remorseful, you’ve offered to buy a new computer, and you have offered to help replace the photos that were lost by paying for re-shoots. Also, if your husband is working in an industry where he’ll need a working computer, he should’ve already bought himself a new one. My husband is in graphic design and his computer was dying, but still functional. We literally just bought him a new one yesterday so that he can do the work he needs without worrying about his computer dying on him any minute. It was an added expense that we didn’t need right now, but it’s better than him losing tons of work and expensive programs like Photoshop and Dreamweaver. As a photographer, your husband should also know better than to delete pictures without backing them up. I’m not saying your husband doesn’t have a right to be upset and angry at the situation. But I don’t think he has a right to take it out on you, put all the blame on you and forbid you from ever touching a computer he owns again.
Post # 9
Um, it was a fluke. Don’t let him make you feel awful for this. I know a lot of photographers and they back up their pictures multiple times and definitely on some sort of cloud device. If your husband didn’t do that, losing creative work is his own fault. If you want to be helpful, do take his laptop in for service, but only do so if it won’t make you anxious before your interview. Good luck!
Edit: seriously, I just asked my FH, and he says he has THREE cloud devices backing up his creative work. If your husband is going to be a creative professional, he needs to take responsibility for his work. If he didn’t back up, then there’s always hard drive recovery.
Post # 10
Good luck at your interview tomorrow. Your husband needs to realize that sometimes stuff breaks and that it’s no one’s fault. I assume he’s upset because he can’t access files he knows he should have backed up, and is taking it out on you because you were the last to touch the computer. It’s not fair to do that but that’s how humans work sometimes. =(
Post # 11
Sounds like he needs to understand the concept of an accident… you sound like you have apologized enough!!
Hope the interview tomorrow goes well.
Post # 12
@MrsOrange: Could it be a battery issue? Like since it would not turn on at all. Laptops have a pretty short battery life and usually you have to replace them every few years or so. Unless it is a virus that has completely wiped everything, he can still get to his files. You’ll just have to take it somewhere.
He is wrong for how he is acting. If he says anything else ask him to explain how you could have possibly broken his laptop doing what you did. You couldn’t have unless you accidentally opened one of those “lo0k @ this video i founD of you.! Gr0ss!” emails or something.
Breathe. This can be remedied. You got this.
Post # 13
Sounds like just a case of bad timing. If his computer was already flaky he should have known well enough to back up his pictures. I have a ‘perfectly’ working laptop and I back up my pictures on two separate drives before deleting anything from my SD cards. He needs to quit his bitching. I wouldn’t be all that sorry and hold any responsibility, printing a file doesnt’ break a computer.
Post # 14
I work on computers for a living, nothing you did sounds remotely suspicious. Laptops go bad in a lot of ways that have nothing to do with user behavior. S**t breaks! Your DH is being a jerk about this. I have broken things of my husband’s and even scraped his beloved car and he never raised his voice or said anything other than “aww honey, it’s just stuff.” He owes you an apology for being a buttwolf.
Post # 15
Ok that is not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
On the plus side there IS a way to extract photos from memory cards even if it’s been deleted, I’m a photographer and I accidently cleared one of my memory cards by accident and another one of my friends had some program that was able to extract all the photos from like so long ago, it was amazing! Not sure of the program, there are a few you’ll have to google it.
Post # 16
@MrsOrange: i know it might be hard now, but please do your best to focus on your interview!!!! And if he truly cared about you, he would get over this in order for you to be in a good frame of mind for the interview. He is entitled to be upset, but I think his hissy fit should be over by now. He should have backed up his pictures before deleting them from his camera, that’s common knowledge, and now his own stupid fault NOT YOURS! Opening up a word document doesn’t cause chaos to a computer, so it must have been on its last leg.
Good luck on your interview!! I am sending you positive vibes!