(Closed) NWR: She pushed me over the edge- So I pushed back!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did I go over the line?
    Yes : (38 votes)
    29 %
    Maybe : (32 votes)
    24 %
    No : (50 votes)
    38 %
    Polls! : (13 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @gingerkitten:  sounds like a barely 18 year old to me….

    I woudn’t have sent the book. It’s a passive aggresive way to respond to her, so you’re combatting immaturity with immaturity.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I probably would have just blocked her and not wasted money on her, because I’m sure the ettiquette book won’t do much good.  It doesn’t work around WB with real adults, I doubt some self absorbed High School kid will recognize it for what it is.  Maybe you should have called her and talked to her, she might have other things going on that you don’t know about.

    Post # 6
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    I think the fact people didnt acknowlege her 18th birthday was rude and she had a right to be upset about it. If you don’t want to buy her an expensive gift then don’t buy one. To me your behaviour was more out of line than hers. You have time to send a passive aggressive gift but not say ‘happy belated birthday’?

    Post # 7
    Member
    2254 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Mrs_Amanda:  +1. OP, I think this is adding more fuel to the fire. Just block her feed from your wall.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1261 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @gingerkitten:  Hahaha, I personally think it’s awesome. People like that spend their whole lives screaming at people and getting their way because no one wants to stand up to them and feel like the bad guy. But they need it.  Inaction in the name of maturity or nobility is just a shrouded version of cowardice.  I mean, letting her just do stuff like that is NOT helping her – she will end up disliked by everyone, and drive all in her life away.

    Yeah, it was definitely a little passive aggressive. I wouldn’t do it. But, it is a gift that legitimately could come in handy, so it’s no big deal. She got a free book!

    Post # 9
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @hopeandpray:  +1

     at least you’ve stated it was in ‘heat’ of the moment, she’s just a kid and you should have brushed it off imo. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I actually find it funny!  Well done!  Plus, that’s probably a really useful book to have around.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    She is just immature and doesnt understand the world doesnt revolve around her. I totally understand how you feel I have been there because I have two girls now 27 and 19 and they are very self-centered. It is the age they all act in this fashion and it is something that will mellow as they get older. Just ignore her behavior.

    The best way to handle it is to say nothing because if you respond that would show her that she got your attention. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Haha! I probably would have sent it as a belated birthday gift and signed my name clear as day. I get kind of annoyed when people just let things like this go. If no one ever says anything to her then she will never know any better and continue to act like a rude brat. If her parents never taught her any manners then someone should. Though like others have said, she probably won’t connect the dots and recognize the point of the book…

    I know a guy who lies incessantly. I mean outright ridiculous lies like that he earned a purple heart while in basic training in Oklahoma. Seriously? Everyone knows he is full of it, but no one ever says anything to him about it and I feel like it just encourages him even more. He really thinks he’s impressing everyone with his tall tales. I once pointed out one of his lies as being improbable and since then I have not heard any more ridiculous stories from him.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    yeah you did…but she needed that life lesson before she goes to far. She might one day post something stupid and lose a job

    Post # 14
    Member
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @niasg1:  at 27 you shouldn’t be self centered. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Well you probably should’ve just said happy birthday. I think that when she does receive this book in the mail she’s going to freak out and go crazy all over your family. I think you may end up having to admit that it was you who sent the book and deal with the fallout from whatever adult(s) in her life is pissed at you for it. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee

    Well to be honest whilst I don’t really condone Facebook as a way of venting frustration, I can understand why your cousin is upset.  One’s 18th birthday, certainly here in the UK, is a very big deal and for a cousin and other members of the family to be ‘too busy’ to even send a card is out of order.  

    The topic ‘NWR: She pushed me over the edge- So I pushed back!’ is closed to new replies.

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