Post # 1
My boyfriend got SO angry at me last night about slamming his car door. He assigned me a “punishment” and everything. I told him he was treating me like a child, and he told me I needed to pay attention. I’m extremely upset at the way he talked to me, and think he’s over-reacting. Then again, I am a very sensitive person.
What are your thoughts on the “slamming car doors will break them” theory? I tried to do some internet research last night but couldn’t find anything expect people arguing about it. He has a 2015 Audi A4 if that helps. Also, I don’t think I’m slamming the doors, I just shut them firmly.
Post # 2
Some people are sensitive about certain things. DH gets annoyed with me when I leave his comic books lying around or leave drinks near his laptop. I think people have triggers and either you tell them to calm down and deal or you just adhere to their idiosyncrasies. What was your punishment?
Post # 3
My dad used to always get “mad” at me if I slammed his car doors. Some people are just sensitive when it comes to their car. I doubt it actually hurts the door. Cars are meant to handle a lot of stuff.
I do think he needs to calm his tits though. Giving you a punishment like you’re a toddler is ridiculous. Does he do that kind of crap often?
Post # 4
I always slam the door, and I remember getting “scolded” by a friend’s mom when I was younger after slamming their door.
I think it was a bit ridiculous that he assigned you a punishment though. That seems childish to me.
Post # 5
Yes, you can do damage to a car door with repeated slamming. My step son broke the latch on my car doing it.
Your husband “assigning” you a punishment!? That wouldn’t fly with me. You’re not his child, you’re his wife, his equal. Do you get to sit him in a corner when he forget to take out the trash?
Post # 6
I know people who have broken locks and windows by slamming the door (granted, these were fairly old and janky cars). That being siad, your SO is being childish.
I’m a habitual door slammer, but I’ve been getting better since I got rid of my last car. My last car had very heavy doors and I got used to dealing with that every day. But whenever I would ride with friends, I’d forget that their doors were lighter and would slam them without thinking.
Post # 7
If it’s important to him, I think you should just deal with it and try to shut the doors more gently. Everyone has their pet peeves.
That said, I can’t image being assigned a punishment by my husband. I’d laugh if he tried.
Post # 8
The door isn’t the issue–it’s the way he treated you. I certainly hope you didn’t comply with his “punishment”. Is he like this in other situations?
Post # 9
You probably shouldn’t slam the door…if it was out of anger, that’s probably one of the reasons he’s mad, since it’s kind of childish to slam the door out of anger. But if it was an accident (you gave a bit more pressure than you meant) he should be understanding.
It’s totally not okay that he gave you a “punishment” for slamming his car door, regardless of the make of the vehicle. That is a giant red flag.
Post # 10
He is wrong to give you punishment and you are wrong to slam his car door. Its obviously a new car. Slamming doors has been known to shatter windows, break handles and dislodge wiring that may work windows. Also how would you feel if someone slammed your brand new laptop on the counter. You wouldnt be happy. Also if you break a window or damage his car, his insurance would likely not pay for it. You or he would be out of pocket instead.
As for the punishment. That would be a big hell to the NO!!!! You might have acted like a child but you are not a child. I would tell him where to stuff it.
Post # 11
Yipeebee: IzzyBear: sassy411:
my “punishment” is that we’re taking my car everywhere instead of his for the next two weeks. NOT a big deal at all, but since he said “as your punishment” we’re doing this, THAT is what bothers me. He’s never done anything like this before in the two years that I’ve known him.
I certainly don’t do it out of anger, I guess I shut it harder than I realize. I do admit I slammed the bedroom door out of anger last night though…
Post # 12
Okay, so you probably should apologize and make an effort not to slam the car door anymore if it bothers him. But the idea of him assigning you, his adult partner, a “punishment” is ridiculous, especially if that isn’t something you’ve established in your relationship before.
My Fiance and I do playful “punishments” (“You forgot to wash the dishes–guess who’s cooking dinner tonight?”) but we both agree on it and would stop if it made someone feel disrespected. Is there any chance he was being playful? If not, he needs to realize how condescending and disrespectful that is.
Post # 13
I understand where you’re coming from, but please let me clarify: the door doesn’t slam so hard that the window or car shakes, and I don’t think it shuts hard enough to do any damage? Do you have a link to any articles I can read to back up your claims? Not trying to be snarky, I am genuinely interested in learning more. I think it would help me actively try my hardest to shut the door gently if I knew for a fact I was damaging the car.
Post # 14
There are some people who really care about the things they own, men are esp this way with their nice cars. If it was not your car, then regardless you need to respect other people’s property and not slam doors, etc. I don’t understand the whole punishment thing, it sounds like there are more dynamics playing here then was detailed in your OP. But whenever my DH is rough with my things and does not treat them with the care I wish he would, he automatically loses all his privileges of using my stuff until he can be respectful with them again. I don’t consider it a punishment per se, but disrespecting and being careless with other people’s property is a no no in my home.
Post # 15
I think you’re right, I do need to apologize. I’m just so hurt and feel so disrespected that I can’t even think of talking to him right now.
I felt extremely silly/foolish posting this thread, as it’s kind of a dumb topic, but really appreciate all the feedback I’ve been getting!