(Closed) NWR: slamming car doors

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Some people are sensitive about certain things. DH gets annoyed with me when I leave his comic books lying around or leave drinks near his laptop. I think people have triggers and either you tell them to calm down and deal or you just adhere to their idiosyncrasies. What was your punishment?  

Post # 3
Member
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

My dad used to always get “mad” at me if I slammed his car doors. Some people are just sensitive when it comes to their car. I doubt it actually hurts the door. Cars are meant to handle a lot of stuff.

I do think he needs to calm his tits though. Giving you a punishment like you’re a toddler is ridiculous. Does he do that kind of crap often?

Post # 4
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee

I always slam the door, and I remember getting “scolded” by a friend’s mom when I was younger after slamming their door. 

 

I think it was a bit ridiculous that he assigned you a punishment though. That seems childish to me.

Post # 5
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, you can do damage to a car door with repeated slamming. My step son broke the latch on my car doing it. 

Your husband “assigning” you a punishment!? That wouldn’t fly with me. You’re not his child, you’re his wife, his equal. Do you get to sit him in a corner when he forget to take out the trash? 

Post # 6
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee

I know people who have broken locks and windows by slamming the door (granted, these were fairly old and janky cars).  That being siad, your SO is being childish.  

I’m a habitual door slammer, but I’ve been getting better since I got rid of my last car.  My last car had very heavy doors and I got used to dealing with that every day.  But whenever I would ride with friends, I’d forget that their doors were lighter and would slam them without thinking.

Post # 7
Member
4787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
CateM10:  If it’s important to him, I think you should just deal with it and try to shut the doors more gently. Everyone has their pet peeves.

That said, I can’t image being assigned a punishment by my husband. I’d laugh if he tried.

Post # 8
Member
11153 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

The door isn’t the issue–it’s the way he treated you.  I certainly hope you didn’t comply with his “punishment”.  Is he like this in other situations?

Post # 9
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

You probably shouldn’t slam the door…if it was out of anger, that’s probably one of the reasons he’s mad, since it’s kind of childish to slam the door out of anger. But if it was an accident (you gave a bit more pressure than you meant) he should be understanding.

It’s totally not okay that he gave you a “punishment” for slamming his car door, regardless of the make of the vehicle. That is a giant red flag. 

Post # 10
Member
895 posts
Busy bee

He is wrong to give you punishment and you are wrong to slam his car door. Its obviously a new car. Slamming doors has been known to shatter windows, break handles and dislodge wiring that may work windows. Also how would you feel if someone slammed your brand new laptop on the counter. You wouldnt be happy. Also if you break a window or damage his car, his insurance would likely not pay for it. You or he would be out of pocket instead.  

As for the punishment. That would be a big hell to the NO!!!! You might have acted like a child but you are not a child. I would tell him where to stuff it.

Post # 12
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
CateM10:  Okay, so you probably should apologize and make an effort not to slam the car door anymore if it bothers him. But the idea of him assigning you, his adult partner, a “punishment” is ridiculous, especially if that isn’t something you’ve established in your relationship before.

My Fiance and I do playful “punishments” (“You forgot to wash the dishes–guess who’s cooking dinner tonight?”) but we both agree on it and would stop if it made someone feel disrespected. Is there any chance he was being playful? If not, he needs to realize how condescending and disrespectful that is.

Post # 14
Member
1515 posts
Bumble bee

There are some people who really care about the things they own, men are esp this way with their nice cars.  If it was not your car, then regardless you need to respect other people’s property and not slam doors, etc.  I don’t understand the whole punishment thing, it sounds like there are more dynamics playing here then was detailed in your OP.  But whenever my DH is rough with my things and does not treat them with the care I wish he would, he automatically loses all his privileges of using my stuff until he can be respectful with them again.  I don’t consider it a punishment per se, but disrespecting and being careless with other people’s property is a no no in my home.

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