(Closed) NWR: So mad at FIL, don’t know what to do….

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You’re not wrong to be angry.  That really is a Shi$$y thing to do and I would be furious.  My Darling Husband had a situation with his parents where whatever present he bught them, even if they picked it out specifically, they ended up complaining about it and how unlike their style it was.  The last thing was a lightstand.  Darling Husband pciked it up, put it into the car, took it back to the shop, picked out something else and we now have it in our living room.

Instead of loosing the money for the tickets, why don’t you an Darling Husband go, jsut the two of you.  Tell Father-In-Law, that, sorry, as much as you would love to go, you thought it was silly to waste the tickets that had been paid for and decided to go yourselves.

Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You should be pissed! Your Darling Husband should be pissed.  What friggin hurtful thing for Father-In-Law.  I’d start doing what @Cariad’s  DH started doing.  Sounds like no pleasing DH’s parents.

I’d put the tickets on stub hub or craigslist, you could recoup some of the money.  I know Darling Husband gets Basketball tickets on those sites all the time last minute.

Post # 6
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be devastated and angry if I was in this situation.  Your Darling Husband and no one else can help the weather.  Things happen.  Just have to make the best of it and it’s unfortunate they didn’t even give it a chance.

Post # 7
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh wow. I would be furious if this were me. I agree with HisIrishPrincess I’d throw the tickets online and try to recoup some of the money. As for Saturday dinner, if you guys are going out with Father-In-Law on his birthday (Wednesday) I’d probably pass on Saturday. I’m in the same boat in that I can’t hide my emotions very well and if I’m pissed at someone they generally know it. I’d probably just say “since you guys cancelled the trip we made other plans. We’ll see you Wednesday though.”

Post # 9
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m also in the camp of “sell the tickets”.

As ridic as this sounds, my parents have a somewhat severe obsession with the weather and I could have seen them doing something similar to this. My dad even has a wind-up radio that he listens to and it only gives the weather, over and over again. He obsesses over rain and snow….”everybody hunker down!”.

Not that I was much help, but I thought it was worth a laugh!

Post # 10
4069 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

That’s so crappy! I would be sooo pissed.  I agree with trying to sell the tickets.  I’m sorry he’s seemingly ungrateful.  He probably doesn’t realise how much organising it took.

You probably don’t want to hear this but…:  We gave my grandad tickets to the snooker (okay it’s indoors) for his 90th.  He still managed to travel 6 hours away.  Stay in a hotel (something he never does because he loves his bed too much).  And have to walk everywhere (because the city we were in had no parking unless you were disabled), it was hilly too!  He was just so pumped about the present.  He loved it.

Post # 11
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

what??? who does that????

i’m not married yet, so i am may be speaking out of turn when it comes to in-laws, but if my future in-laws pulled this crap, I would be raging mad too!!

putting myself in this position, thinking about my particular future in-laws and the way they handle things in THAT family, i think i would swallow it down though and go to both events though, smiling face not required.

it sounds like your Darling Husband really doesnt want to make a big thing out of this, and even though its hurting him that Father-In-Law was so unbelievably rude and callous, i don’t know how much good it would do for anything to come from you. i think that Darling Husband would have to be the one to say something to his dad, otherwise you may come off as the bad guy (which you are totally not!!) trying to take his birthday thunder to yell about some trip he didnt want to take… seems like the best thing to do is keep being there for Darling Husband and keep reminding him you support him and that he did a truly great thing planning that trip. it could help give him what he needs to call his dad out on his own?

what is your relationship like with MIL? could you say something to her privately, after the birthday has blown over? 

Post # 12
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

can understand where you are coming from – i think id feel the same too.

i think the only way your are going to resolve your feelings is to speak to him about it and let him know how you and Darling Husband are feeling.

Not that i think you should go round imediatley all guns blazing, but when you feel you could speak to him about it.

with the weekend, i would agree with that if you are going on the Weds, then try and enjoy the weekend with your DH. 

Sorry, im not a great help! 

Post # 13
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m like you. I can try to pretend to be fine but when you’ve pissed me off, you know about it. I think your Father-In-Law was ridiculous for cancelling because of weather. You’re right, a sweatshirt & one of those handy devices called an UMBRELLA would have done the trick!

Do you think it could be that he didn’t want you guys spending so much money on them? We have that problem with our parents (both my mom and my IL’s). We’re generous gift givers and I think sometimes it makes them feel uncomfortable that we spend so much. I don’t think they’d ever cancel an event that we planned for them but they may feel bad about the money that was spent. Regardless, you have every right to be upset when you and your husband were just trying to do something nice for him and he shit all over it. I’d probably still go to dinner on Saturday just to keep the peace but I’d also slip in some snide remarks like “Wouldn’t it have been nice to see the game today! We sure did miss a good time.”

Post # 14
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be PISSED too!!

I can relate to your point of view because things like this happen with my in-laws ALL THE TIME.  DH is CONSTANTLY going so far out of his way to do nice things for them, help them out, and he gets NOTHING in return.  No respect, no thanks, nothing.  And canceling last minute on a trip like that totally sounds like something my Father-In-Law would do as well.

In the last year or so Darling Husband has just started backing away.  Now that he is not the one putting himself out there, we hardly EVER see or even hear from them.  Our life is actually so much more peaceful now.  They’re his parents, and I know he loves them, but there’s a point where he had to just stop letting them take advantage of him.

((I know this may not be the same situation as yours, just wanted to let you know I can relate to in-laws that treat your Darling Husband badly!! I had no real advice but I’m so sorry that this happened to you guys and I hope you can find a way to work it all out.))

Post # 16
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, you’re not wrong at all. I would be livid. If someone did that to me that would be the last thing I ever planned for them.

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