Post # 46
Oh if your husband is buying and eating the junk there’s not much you can do other than provide some healthy options. I like the idea of having a cooking day where they help out.
You don’t want to be the step mom who imposed “eat this or starve”. That tactic needs to be a joint front, though I generally don’t think it’s a good one for very picky eaters. My dad did that one with me, and so I just went hungry and lost weight whenever I visited him, and opted to visit him less when given the choice.
Post # 47
beethree : Exactly this. 100% agree.
Post # 48
I want to thank each and every Bee who commented. I have been giving some thought to how I want to approach this.
I think what I am going to do is have a big conversation with Dad this weekend. I want him to understand what the concerns are. I am trying to be realistic: I don’t beleive we can open these kids up to new food necessarily. But I do think, if Dad is on board, we can cut down the sugar thing, because it is absolutely insane and it is also fueling the unwillingness to eat proper food. I also believe it is the biggest danger healthwise.
So I am gonna straight up ask him if he is willing to make some sacrifices and we get rid of all the unreasonable amounts of sweets and junk food in the house. I know it would be super hard for him and he may balk and refuse.
I am thinking we set a time frame (say 3 months we try no nutella, no sweets, no cake, no honey, no jam, no sugary joghurts, no sugar desserts) I am gonna absolutely focus on the health aspect (also his own) and that it is just a trial thing and it is absolutely about seeing if the kids make bettter choices if there just isn’t any crap in the house. Or maybe, if we just feel better about the food thing when they aren’t eating sugar here. It would also greatly reduce the stress of always having to discuss the sweets (with him invariably giving in and feeling guilty afterwards)
I will remind him of all the fighting I had when my kids were younger about television. I was so sick and tired or regulating tv I got rid of it. We didn’t have a tv so there was no discussion. My kids really delved into creative play and crafts because of it and to this day will tell me: they thought they hated it as little kids, but are so happy now that we did it. They have super happy memories of a childhood with books on tape and drawing for hours. I also have super happy memories of no longer fighting about how much tv they get to watch, lol.
Maybe it’s not comparable, but I am gonna put it out there. And in return I will not get hung up about what they are otherwise eating for the meantime.
I will discuss it on the weekend.
Thanks again for all of your great ideas!
Post # 49
I think you’re on the right track – the number one thing you need to do to make a change is get your husband on board. If he doesn’t support you/undermines your attempts, it’s going to be nearly impossible to get these kids eating healthier.
I second a previous suggestion, if his kids look up to your kids at all maybe that could be a way to get them to try new things? I remember as a kid knowing I hated sour cream – it has the word sour in it! how could that be good! – until I saw a friend put some on her baked potato at a party. And then I tried it and was amazed at how delicious it was.
The other idea I had is to bring it up with the kids’ pediatrician. Maybe if your husband won’t listen to you he’ll listen to their doctor? Ideally the mom would get on board, too, and maybe a doctor’s perspective would help with that as well.
Lastly, not sure if this is applicable or even helpful, but my sister was a picky eater as a kid – mostly white foods, lots of ketchup, and as an adult she got into culinary arts and nutrition. Looking back she realized that her aversion to a lot of foods had to do with their texture, which she was very sensitive to (gag reflex) but didn’t know how to articulate as a child.
Post # 50
Shesaidyes : I think it’s always going to be an uphill battle until your husband is on board. I agree with the others that he wants to be the cool dad and not make waves. The kids are young enough where if any big changes are made, like getting rid of all the junk food cold turkey, that you’re the one, not dad, that’s going to look like the evil stepmom.
I would start by buying healthier alternatives of what they’re eating and instead of making an immediate switch over, start slowly, like instead of using all Nutella, use half and half the new stuff.
I think you mentioned in one of your posts that the kids’ mom doesn’t like to cook. I don’t either, but I do because I have to. I have found that it can be more expensive to eat healthy. If you go through a fast food drive through it’s much cheaper to buy a burger than a salad. That’s not how it should be. So could eating healthier be a cost issue for the mom? Or a time issue? What are these kids eating for lunch in school? Our school lunch program has become much healthier due to government regulations. It was at first introduced with a lot of poo-poos from the students, but now they’re used to it and more kids are buying lunch from school than ever before in my district. So if the kids are getting lunch at school, they should be exposed to healthier options.
I do think this is your business but you’re unfortunately in the tough spot of not having their father on board. As I said, that needs to be your first step. If he’s resistant to change, I’m not sure what else you can do.
Post # 51
My boyfriend’s son has a pretty atrocious diet. My boyfriend’s is pretty bad too. I am a bit neurotic about getting in my greens and trying not to eat too much processed stuff. They are not. His son’s mom (according to my boyfriend) is a boxed food and “microwave queen.” Last night his son dipped a frozen pizza in ranch, the night before that… hot dogs. 100% not my place to tell him how to feed his child but I can set a better example. I stayed over a few days last week and brough some pita chips, hummus and grapes. Just slid them in the fridge and noticed my boyfriend ate the hummus (and was excited to learn he liked it, lol) and his son has been munching the grapes.
There has to be some fruit they like at least? Maybe a subtle way you can introduce a new food or 2? I understand where you are coming from, it drives me crazy to see people I care about eat like crap.
Post # 52
avprobeauty : What’s scary is that you are in a position to pass on such gross misinformation.
This total included: » 132,000 children and adolescents younger than age 18 years (0.18% of the total U.S. population younger than age 18 years). » 193,000 children and adolescents younger than age 20 years (0.24% of the total U.S. population younger than age 20 years).
Have you taken a statistics course? If not, I suggest you do. It will help you understand what you read.
Even if you count everyone under 20 as a child, only 0.24% have diabetes. That’s 1/4 of 1%.
I’m not saying that is a good thing. What I am saying is that it is no where near what you are saying it is.