[NWR] This is super minor but annoying… WWYD?

posted 2 months ago in Career
Post # 16
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honestly, I’d be all for the passive aggressiveness if you were not on the executive team at work.

Since you are, I think you need to take the higher road here.  mandaadee  had a great idea.

Post # 17
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

Ug how rude.  I’d email her and call her De”BORE” ah and then continue to overuse the word bore and boring in any email to her.

Post # 18
Member
965 posts
Busy bee

This happens to me all the time. There are multiple people in my company with my name all with different spellings. I just suck it up. 

Post # 19
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I had the same issue. She retired a couple months ago, but I worked with a woman for almost 5 years who continuously spelled my name wrong. I go by a shortened version of my full name, think Cami from Camille, but she always spelled it “Camy” even though I sign my name “Cami” in all of my emails lol (not my real name).

I learned to just let it go. It didn’t really affect anything beyond getting on my nerves, so I didn’t feel like it was worth calling her out.

Post # 20
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

tulipdazey :  I sympathise. I have a very common name but uncommon spelling (thanks mum). As a result, I take the time to notice how people sign off their emails and will respond accordingly. If you sign off Christopher, I’ll call you Christopher and not Chris. So it really pisses me off when Christopher can’t look at my email signature and spell my name correctly. I have a peter who does the same. In the case where you have animosity with someone, it’s going to grate even more but I’d leave it. If she is doing it out of disrespect then correcting her just lets her know that she’s gotten to you. 

My husband also has the uncommon spelling of his name. From our wedding cards, I’d say about 25% were the correct spelling of both first names. And these are meant to be our nearest and dearest! 🤦‍♀️

Post # 21
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I have a very spiteful and evil direct boss, and this sounds like the exact type of crap she’d pull. If it were happening to me, I’d let this go. Better she “gets off easy” on this than something else. 

My Fiance and I have a saying about my boss. When I complain about her, he says to me, “Misstomorris, she’s a jerk. You know she’s a jerk. You cannot be surprised when she does things that a jerk would do.”

Post # 22
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee

You’re on the executive team at your employer.  And, you’re young.  And, a woman.  Two strikes against you (not saying it’s right at all, but facts are still facts).

I’d be safe and take the high road.  

Post # 23
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

bywater :  Ahhhh! Girl, where are you working that this is a thing? Just because we’re women and young doesn’t mean we have to allow crap like this to continue. And the fact that we’re in higher level management because we have literally worked our asses off to get here, we have the responsibility to stand up for every single woman that follows in our shoes. 

OP, many posters had some good ideas, but I’m leaning toward professionally calling her out in the email multiple times until she gets it right. Initially, I was on team “passive-aggressive,” but because you are on the exec team, I don’t think that is the best call. 

Good luck! Let us know how long it takes for her to get it right!

Post # 24
Member
1376 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

 tulipdazey :  I honestly don’t know at this point if she is just clueless, or if this is her way of showing me more disrespect.  Yes it most definitely is her way of showing disrespect and seriously, her husband is a friend of the President but YOU’RE entitled???  Pot….this is kettle, you’re black!  

Point blank its unecessary, disrespectful, unprofessional and left unchecked could lead to more flagrant behavior In My Humble Opinion.  Yes its small and petty but it would irk me to the point of pulling her aside and asking her what her problem is.  If you don’t like me as your superior and can’t be professional about it….there’s the door.  I’ve had to confront a supervisor for a much more flagrant example but I don’t do disrespect especially in the workplace…on any level.  

If you’re not the confrontational type go for pp’s suggestion but pass it on to her supervisor first. Let him/her handle it at that point but if it continues, then forward everything to the president.  There is absolutely nothing wrong or OTT about asking for respect.

Post # 25
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

Yep, as PP have said, this happens to me ALL THE TIME! I have a not-so-common name and my parents decided on a slight variation of the “usual” spelling. But people ignore the fact that I sign the end of my emails AND MY SIGNATURE BLOCK CLEARLY SPELLS OUT MY NAME!. But nope, it happens all the time. I’ve repeatedly corrected people and it keeps happening. I’ve sometimes taken the passive-agressive approach and purposely misspell their name in a reply email. But at this point, I’m just tired of fighting the battle. I do know that some spellchecks will pick it up and “correct” it to more usual spelling. 

Post # 26
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee

crazychickenlady :  I’ve got 25 years in the business world. 

I finally got OUT of the private sector because of the passive agressiveness of female co-workers, especially.  Until there is significant traction in getting women into the full C-suite and chain going up, it’s stacked against us.

My current employer is amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better one.  But, then again, we’re judged on our work, not our looks or ability to play the game.  Unlike the private sector

Post # 27
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

tulipdazey :  Deborah is another way to spell it. That may drive her crazy.  I see others have mentioned this one.  

Post # 28
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

I have a name with two common ways of spelling. I have one colleague who spells it incorrectly every time. And yes, it’s on my signature, it’s on the actual email address, it’s on my office door, it’s on my id badge. At this point, everyone else who is copied in to the email usually replies to correct them! It’s been 8 years….

 

I also have a colleague who I worked with on a daily basis before going on mat leave (for 7 years!)… Since coming back, he consistently calls me ‘Emma’. This is not even remotely close to my name. 

 In your case I would decidedly take the high road. Correct her formally and politely in an email. Repeat every time. Send it up the hierarchy if she gets douchey about it

Post # 29
Member
536 posts
Busy bee

bywater :  My experience has been exactly the opposite. I’ve been in the private sector, in my field, for 15 years… And I have worked in primarily male-dominated industries. I have never felt the way that you are talking. If anything, compared to our male to female employee ratio, my current company and my last company have more females in the board room than they have as employees (Comparing ratio to ratio). I guess it all depends on company, industry and likely location. 

Post # 30
Member
862 posts
Busy bee

People call me Diana and it makes my skin crawl. Had one occasion where a new hire emailed me and called me Donna. My full name is listed in my email and my signature block. Never rolled my eyes so hard. 

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