- 7 years ago
i apologize in advance but this is unrelated to weddings at all. but i have been so stressed out this last week i don’t know where else to turn, since my friends and SO have been getting an earful of me lately and i know i can’t keep bothering them with my whining. the bee is such a supportive place, so i figured i’d try to get some of this off my chest here..
1. i had an abnormal pap test about 3 weeks ago, and just last weds. i went back for a repeat. i am worried about the results that come back, since i am expecting the worst because i have ‘weird’ symptoms like i sometimes have cervical bleeding after sex (TMI sorry). also i’m a huge worry wart!
2. i am a senior in university right now, looking for a job for when i graduate. (if it helps, i am a materials science engineer from a respected school) i’ve had a bunch of interviews (11) which is great(!)… BUT, i have gotten rejected from every single one after the interview. now the logical thing is, i just stink at interviews. but i’ve been to many university-hosted mock interviews, practiced with counselors, etc. etc. and they all said i was a strong interviewer. so i know it must be me, but i feel like i’m in a dead end since i can’t find where i can improve. i was so so excited and proud when i got all those interviews, but after each rejection came rolling in one after another, i became more and more down. i only have one more interview that i participated in where i have not heard back from yet, and i am truly hoping i finally get some good news. they said they would let me know “early november” which candidates would be moving on to the final round of interviews, and i haven’t heard yet. so that could mean i either was not picked or they have not released their selections yet. i plan on emailing the recruiter tomorrow to follow up but given my 100% rejection rate, i am not expecting too much (though i really hope i get good news) i know people will say ‘just keep applying, the economy is tough’ etc etc. but since i attend a well-respected school, a lot of my friends already have secured very prestigious jobs already. and here i am, getting rejected over and over. i still am applying to jobs, but i feel like they’re just getting sent down the black hole that internet job portals, and i’m getting more disheartened over this entire process
3. in relating to (2), my SO is also a senior and looking for a job. we want to be together after we graduate (both romantically and geographically), and the job i mentioned in (2) is one we both are being considered for. they have multiple openings, so how great would it be if we both somehow got it!? but anyway, the stress point here is its likely we will not end up together geographically, given the job market, and that in itself stresses me out (though we have talked about a timeline that if after a year post-grad we still haven’t found a job geographically together, one of us will move to the other to be together – considering factors like job market in that area, where we want to end up living eventually etc. – and at that stage the non-mover will already have settled into whatever location that is and be more financially stable)
4. i have a cold, which really hinders my ability to focus on schoolwork. so i get more behind, which leads me to stress out that i’m so behind (especially since exams are coming up in the next two weeks). then i just want to say ‘f it’ and just completely give up on trying.. which of course, makes me more stressed out. see the trend here? lol
i feel like i cant focus on academic work since my mind is always wandering to worry about these things, and then i get more and more behind on everything which causes me to be more upset/stressed and the cycle restarts! i am just so anxious and stressed about “everything”
sorry for the vent. i’ve been whining my SO’s ears off lately with these things, and i know he is (fairly) reaching his limit. but i just couldn’t keep it in anymore! thanks for listening 🙂