Post # 1
I’m so desperate for help & not sure what to do…
Nothing used to upset or offend me, now every single thing Darling Husband does p*sses me off. He does something nice for me & I get mad he didn’t do something else. I feel so very bad for the way I’m treating him, yet I don’t feel I care about him. Idk what’s wrong with me =(.
I also do not have friends… I struggled before because every friend ditched me or left me or replaced me in my past. A few months ago my best friend who we spent every day together & talked about deep stuff got back with her ex (who is kind of enemies with my DH) & then it was as if I didn’t exist. Our other friend stopped hanging out & now we never see him. Its just Darling Husband & me.
All I do is work & go home & get angry at everything Darling Husband does. No friends have time for me & the ones that used to “replaced” me. I don’t have any motivation. I’ve been burnt so many times I don’t want to find new friends, yet I don’t want to be with just Darling Husband. I get so sick of him now & feel bad for that. I’m just not the same person anymore. Everything I liked/loved doing I don’t care about now.
Post # 3
Everything I liked/loved doing I don’t care about now
Classic sign of depression. Please go see your doctor and get screened. Often untreated depression manifests in hostility to the people we love – although you do have control over that, and should work on reminding yourself that your Darling Husband doesn’t deserve your anger.
Post # 5
You sound a little depressed. I would go see a doctor before ou ruin your relationship with Darling Husband. I hope you get through this rough patch!! Talk to your Darling Husband so he knows you recognize you have a problem and maybe he can help you also.
Post # 6
Your husband really does not deserve this. He is probably just as lost and confused as you are right now.
Post # 7
I second Mighty…you need to seek a professional opinion. A good friend of mine went down this very same road, for 2 years she struggled as you are now. She finally went onto antidepressants for a time. It was amazing the difference. She is off them now and has been for some time, and said she has never been better.
Please get help, depression hurts so many people in so many ways.
Post # 8
There IS such a thing as spending too much time with someone.
My relationship is healthiest when we are both able to spend time doing our own thing, while putting time aside for us as a couple as well. I spend time with my friends at least once a week and he does the same. Sometimes i go to the coffee shop and read just because i enjoy it.
If i were you, i would take up some new hobbies. Make excuses to get out of the house. You cant only have your Darling Husband in your life. Its not healthy.
Post # 9
@nicoleb83: Sorry to hear you’re depressed. I go through the same emotions as well. It’s been taking a lot out of me. I fought and became very angry with Fiance about two weeks ago. I broke down and cried because I realized I was acting like someone I wasn’t and never want to be. The realization has given me motivation to do something about it. I let myself cry more. I am now going to the gym to help release stress, anger, etc. It really does make a difference. I try to remember that Fiance is my best friend and not my enemy.
As for friends, I’m in the same boat. It depresses me at times, but sometimes I really don’t care (though it would be super awesome if Fiance and I had mutual friends to hang out with). FI’s friends ditched him as well. It’s a shame, but at least we have each other.
I feel like all I do is work and sleep (thank you overnights!). It’s taken a toll on me, my attitude, and life. I also feel as if I work hard and don’t get much out of it. Once again, I have to remember that it’s allowing me to live on my own with Fiance, it pays the bills, and I am now a responsible adult. There will be times that I want to go out, have fun, and enjoy life – but right now I need to make sure my priorities are straight.
Sorry for the possible threadjacking. I just wanted to show you that I do relate. You can PM me if you’d like at any time. I am always here. I know what it’s like because I’ve struggled with depression all of my life.
Post # 10
I tell Darling Husband I am sorry after I get mad, I tell him its me & not him. I don’t yell/scream but I raise my voice & I’ve never done that until the past few months (okay maybe rarely before that, but it was only during really big fights). I just want to cry or disappear. I had a bad morning & he tries so hard to cheer me up, but nothing helps. He is going to bring me lunch soon, which is nice of him.
Would I go to a normal doctor or a psychologist? We don’t have much money. A few hundred wouldn’t be possible.
Post # 11
@nicoleb83: Start with a general practintioner. They can prescribe anit depressants. You don’t need a psych for depression usually. Depression can be situation related, without ever having any history/family links. It sounds like a lot of emotional landscape changes have gotten you down. Once you’re there, sometimes you need a boost to pick you back up and it’s not always possible to go it alone!
I do second PP above who suggested some new hobbies and going to the gym. Exercise is a great stress/anxiety/anger buster. Even if you can’t afford a gym membership, take a bike ride/walk/jog/skate/swim…anything to get your body moving! Watch the Living Social/Groupon ads too, they often have bootcamp’s for super cheap. Also a good place to meet a friend/buddy to exercise with.
And don’t be afraid to go do things alone, apart from your Darling Husband, even if no one else will go with you, it’s HEALTHY to want time apart! I LIVE for my days by myself, the days where I can go to Chapters, buy a book, sit in Starbucks and enjoy it! Or take myself for lunch and a movie, a little window shopping, browse a farmers market or antique fair. It’s great therapy for me!
Post # 12
@nicoleb83: Not sure where you are from, but Planet Fitness is only $10 a month if you can’t afford much. It really is a great way to get out of the house.
You can find a psychiatrist to help you out. There’s always places that go off a paying scale. Just need to investigate.
I wish you the best of luck.
Post # 13
Thank you for all your replies everyone.
I know Darling Husband doesn’t deserve the way I’m acting. Darling Husband thinks it might be my birth control, he’s really understanding.
@Rush1986: I know its not healthy for us to just have each other… Darling Husband has friends at work & hangs out with them outside of work sometimes. I don’t have any co-workers so I don’t even see anyone at work. Anyways, I used to be really independent & spend time with my friends apart from Darling Husband. Now, there’s just no one I can spend time with. Going out to coffee alone makes me cry because there’s no one to go to coffee with. My friends always always cancel on me last minute because someone else more important came up.
@Rouquine: Thank you very much & you weren’t threadjacking silly =). Thank you for relating to me, though I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing (or similar at least). I will take you up on the PMs a little later.
Post # 14
@nicoleb83: No problem. Keep your chin up! We’ll help you along the way.
Post # 15
Many mental health professionals offers sliding scale fees based on what you can afford. It does sound like you would benefit from talking to someone.
If I spent every day and night only with my husband I’d go a little nuts too so try to think of some things you can do on your own, even if it’s just window shopping or, I don’t know, getting a pet? Dog walks and dog park can be therapeutic in their own right!