Post # 1
I apologize in advance for such a long post. When I found out last night, the first thing I wanted to do was post here for some support but I ended up going to bed and crying a little.
I live in Texas and applying to med school in Texas is a little different from the rest of the country. We are special and have our own application service and super confusing “match” process. My fiance is currently in his second year of med school. Basically how it works is, you apply, you get interviews, you get in. Before you get in, you rank all the schools you interviewed at in order of preference and those schools rank everyone they interviewed. No one sees the other’s rank list. Then, this giant program or whatever matches everyone up based on the ranks.
The problem is, I really wanted to go to School #1, which would have been ok because my fiance’s school has the option of him doing his clinicals (year 3 & 4) in the same city. My second choice was his school, School #2, because it would have been really convenient for us since we’re getting married in 4 months and we’re familiar with the school and we could stay in the same area. Then there’s School #3, which is great and I got an early acceptance, however, if I went here, our options were for me to commute 2 hours a day for 2 years or we live in separate cities for 2 years. Not ideal.
School #2 is very open about “doing what they can to help significant others of people currently enrolled.” It’s happened before. I know people where the husband was in, he emailed about his wife, and then she got in. Of course the grades have to be in an acceptable range and mine were a little above average for School #2.
Anyways, today is match day and I got matched to School #3. Meaning I’m stuck with the worst possible options out of all of them. I’m mad at his school, I’m mad School #3.
I really can’t see any positivies to my 2 choices. Please don’t think I’m being ungrateful or that I don’t appreciate how lucky I am to have been accepted anywhere. I understand. I don’t think I can handle driving 2 hours a day with all the studying I need to do but I also don’t think I can deal with living in separate cities for the first 2 years of marriage. We’ve already been doing long distance for the last 2 years (3 hours). What should I do? Sorry again if this is so long and confusing…
Post # 3
Hi there. Welcome to the hive. It can be a bit chilly when you pour your heart out in a post and nobody responds. So I thought I’d try to weigh in, but I have to admit, all the numbers are mind boggling. Plus, you have lots of numbers in your ‘name’, so it’s a bit of a blur, but here goes: no, you shouldn’t have to be two hours from medical school. Too, too tough all around. And, no, you shouldn’t have to live in different cities to start off a marriage, either. So, something’s gotta give if at all possible. Can he move? So that you are both, say, about an hour or so from each of your schools til all this settles? Or can his school (# 2 I think-lol) which you say is so accommodating to significant others — reconsider your app — or in the reverse, help him get into your school? Some things to consider… or not!!
Post # 4
Yikes! It sounds like they have applied the residency match method to admission. Years 3 and 4 are predominately rotations if Texas med schools are like the others I know. Is there anyway that he could arrange his rotations in the same location as school #3?
My brother who is currently in his 4 year of med school disliked the hospital he did his rotations at his 3 year so he arranged all of his rotations for his 4th year. This ment a bit more work on his part but he actually got to do a lot more rotations he enjoyed as well as being able to solidify the type of situation he would like to work.
Post # 5
Ugh, that’s so not fun, sorry @ninefivethree:. I do like @JoeBeth12:‘s idea of moving to a more central location so you both share the drive. Or, even though it’s way less than ideal, living separately for a bit may help you focus on your studies in your down time and you’ll really enjoy your weekends together. A few of my law school classmates live in town here during the week and then drive 4 hours home each weekend to spend time with their husbands/wives. It’s tough, but it can be done, and no matter what you two choose, just keep an eye on your future together and your goals and how everything you do is working towards a bright future together.
CONGRATS on getting into med school, btw!
Post # 6
@amaroo24: Yes Texas admission is almost exactly like the national residency admission with the exception that we can actually have “prematch” acceptances. One thing I really like about the school I’m going to is that the first 2 years are limited to 1 of 2 campuses, but the last 2 years, they have set up rotations 5 different cities, not including all the separate ones that we can set up ourselves. Lots of options, plus the most recently added location is in the city where we both really want to end up and where there are lotsss of residency positions for the specialty he wants.
@JoeBeth12: I forgot to add in that his school claims to be accommodating but they’re really not lol they’ve actually made me feel pretty awful through the whole application process so in the end I think it worked out that I’m not going there. It is too late to move, but we are trying to work it out to where the commute is more evened out between us. I realize that my post was really confusing and now that I read over it again, I see how I could have simplified it a lot but I was a little too distracted this morning :/
@indibee: Thanks! We are splitting it up, for the most part. Right now we’re looking at a town where my drive would be just under an hour each way and his would be about 30-40 min.
There are some highly redeeming factors about the school I’m going to and after thinking about it all day, I feel a lot better about it. My school is really helpful, I emailed them this morning and within a few hours they gave me the email addresses of several current students who commute 1+ hours each way every day so I can get better idea of what it’s like.
In the end, I really feel like this is a lot more doable now 🙂