(Closed) NWR: What Do You Look For In a Guy?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@FutureMrsCookie: #1 Where did we meet:  My ex and I ran in the same social circle. We knew each other several times over.

#2 What I like: Smart, morals, funny, financial stability and spoils me.

#3 What I dislike: Arrogance, rudeness (to me or others), dishonesty.

Yes, your job/ financial stability is more important than your personality. I don’t think its funny to be broke and struggle at my age. I am very stable in my life at 31 and I have no interest in bringing anyone in my life that will bring me down; I’ve worked too hard. However, in college or my 20’s it didn’t matter as much because I was not ready to get married and was looking to have fun.

Post # 4
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

#1 where we met: Darling Husband and I met in our Young Adults group at our church

#2 what I looked for: I actually had a VERY extensive “list” of what I looked for… and stuck by. I didn’t like wasting my time. lol

#3 what I disliked: I couldn’t stand being told what I “wanted to hear”… it was always so obvious when a guy didn’t match up with something I wanted/believed but he’d try to make it out like he did. UGH I hated that.

Post # 5
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1. Where to meet:  friends of friends, at activities of common interest (church group, sporting event, comic book convention, cooking class…you get the idea!  If you already have at least that one thing in common…no matter what it is, it makes starting a conversation much easier!).  My Darling Husband and I were introduced through common friends.

2.  What I like:  Humor, Honesty, Intelligence, Stability, Confidence, Someone who is Genuine, Personal Hygiene (likes to make himself look nice), Adventurous, Kind, Good at Listening, Playfulness, Common Values(okay…and gorgeous eyes/nice forearms doesn’t hurt either!!).  I would date a shy guy…it is just harder to because I am shy myself, so I like the other person to make the first move!  Looks and job do matter somewhat, but not QUITE as much as personality (ie. I wouldn’t date someone with no ambition or drive to better themselves, and it is always a good sign when someone values themselves enough to be healthy and take care of whatever body they were blessed with).

3. What I dislike:  Self-Centered, Rude, Hot-Tempered, Overly Sarcastic, Lazy (we’re not talking “Lazy Sunday” here…we’re talking “won’t help out around the house/expects someone else to do everything for him”), Dishonest, Puts others down when out in public.  One of the worst things is those who believe they are “God’s gift to women”…ugh…get over yourself!!! 

Post # 6
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

I met my SO at a festival, and through mutual friends so it was all planned/safe so to speak. I suggest just going out to places and doing the things you love! If you like artistry, join a painting class? If you like sport, go see a game – yes women do go to them too!

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy?

Actually my SO was that shy guy, not so much now as I think he has flourished in confidence since being together. I find the shy guy intriguing, no girl likes a guy who offers all his personality on a plate in one sitting.

I wasn’t really looking either when I met my SO either, I had resounded myself to singledom for eternity ala Bridget Jones so it’s hard to say what qualities I looked for, but qualities I admire in my man are that he is caring, thoughtful, and he listens and picks up on things. He makes me feel valued, makes me laugh, and just be my best friend I guess.

And no career and looks doesn’t matter as these can always change overnight! Personality lives on a lifetime 🙂

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Bad breath, a funny breathing noise, a horrid or put on (fake) laugh. Just be genuine and game on for anything, I can spot someone when they are trying to be something they are not a mile away 🙂

Post # 7
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

My bf and I met online, it worked well for us because we are both quite shy people

 

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

I always look for kindness and a sense of humour. I don’t like smooth guys who have all the answers or who play ‘the game’. In fact, one of the first things that really attracted me to my bf was that he asked for a second date before the first date was over! (his intentions to date me and his interest in me was clear – he didn’t do the whole waiting three days thing).

Looks matter a little initially, but personality definately wins hands down for me. And I would date a shy guy, I actually do date a shy guy – he took 3 weeks to kiss me (we were both 25 at the time) and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. It made it all the more special

 

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Spit, burping loudly, farting in public, being rude to waiters (and other service staff), blatently looking at other women, showing a lack of interest in me or what I have to say

 

Post # 8
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

Hmm Youll always find nice girls doing some sort of Charity work : Maybe they can check out Volunteer areas.. ( lol I feel like cosmo for men now telling them where to meet nice girls ) But in all seriousness, most of my Gf’s are not in tthe whole club/bar thing and often volunteer in Charity events- libraries — etc etc.. They arent boring people at all and always enjoy a good time. But Also they should definetly check out friends of friends, family members, etc. Im sure they will definetly come across someone. I met my Fiance through a friend on myspace. Haha. ( woops )

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy?

Well this video is GREAT LOL

But to answer your question… It depends on how shy? I love a man whose modest but not overly shy.. Im the girl, I would expect me to be more shy then him. I dont want him shy enough to be the one whimping out if someone mistreated him that he doesnt wanna do something about it..

But this video should be watched lmao.

 

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

If he didn even offer to pay.. TURN OFF. If he tells me how he likes to party like a wild animal.. turn off. If he tells me that he loves women very much.. ( Ahh.. great.. not very comforting)- Im not the kind who realy cares if the man burps/farts/vomits. but its more like personality things like that really turn me off.

 

Post # 9
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

For single guys who are struggling, I would honestly recommend the blog: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/. It contains some offensive things but also so much truth about human nature that I think it’s worth a read just to consider. 

As for your questions: 

1. I met my SO through work, participating in an after-work activity with coworkers. Go to those work happy hours, weekend retreats, lunchtime training sessions, and office birthday parties!

2. I want a guy who is intelligent, ambitious, confident, and successful. Personality matters more than looks, and job is part of personality. 

3. Unattractive things guys can do are to seem too clingy/eager/needy. No one wants to be with a guy where you feel like you are out of his league, and the way he either gives that impression or not is by how confident vs. awkward he acts around you. 

Post # 10
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A good place to meet is through mutual friends. That’s how Fiance and I met, and then the person is kind of vetted by your friends already, ie, you know they’re not a total creep haha.

I like guys who are confident, intelligent, funny, and on top of their shit. My Fiance has a great job, works hard, takes care of me. I’ve also met guys who do cool things like have a band or run their own business, or whatever. I like a guy with hobbies and his own life. And very, very nice and polite! I prefer shy guys, probably because I am loud and obnoxious myself.

Turnoffs: I’ve never liked guys that were short and overcompensated for it by bulking up muscle wise. Also, a lot of my guy friends smoke pot pretty regularly and I think it’s lame, they’re 27, grow up and save it for once in awhile. I also hate hwen guys pretend to like things you like to impress you- it’s much more fun to have a conversation when you’re trading ideas or pseudo debating about whatever.

Post # 11
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

We met at a small party under very odd circumstances.  Neither of us were looking for anything at the time, but I’ve made some of my best friends unexpecdedly so my #1 Advice is: Talk to strangers.

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

Likes to laugh, positive attitude, doesn’t tell me what I “want” to hear, an attentive listener, realistic ideals.  My fellow was a bit shy so yeah! Job isn’t as important as ambition.

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

No awareness of personal space, eyes wander a lot during conversation, been rude to others, asks really personal questions too quickly (yes, on first meeting,) when they start smoking right in front of you without asking.

Post # 12
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

#1.Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

work, friend of a friend at a houseparty, birthday dinner or other social gatherings… I also know a lot of friends who are happily married to the guy they met at a bar too.

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

Looks matter because i cannot know his personality from the get go but personality and job matter quite a bit as well. it has to be the whole package 🙂

Confident, smart, driven good looking, athletic, funny and outgoing

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Arrogant to the point of putting other people down, stingy/cheap, shyness, poor hygiene, complacent.

Post # 13
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

  • I met Fiance through a friend’s Facebook status.  We both had the same point of view on a serious topic and I digged that.  I friend requested him and he accepted.  The rest is history.

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

  • Personality, sense of humor, and life goals.  Looks don’t matter, but of course you have to be attracted to the person.  That’s human nature.  Job?  As long as he’s not refusing to work, then I don’t care.  Personality wins it for me.

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

  • Immediately wanting to jump my bones.  I’m flattered guys were attracted to me, but a lot of guys before Fiance always wanted to make out with me right away.  Granted, it’s innocent when it first starts, but c’mon.  I always enjoyed talking/hanging out first before all of that began.  I’ve had guys that always wanted me to be around them too.  No clingy-ness was allowed.

 

Post # 14
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

I met my guy online. We worked in different towns and had opposite work schedules. Had it not been for the internet I would have never met him.

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

#1 humor. Then intelligence, looks, manners. Job is way down the list, but is eventually important. I would absolutely date a shy guy if he at least showed he was making an effort. My guy isn’t the shyest around but he’s definitely more reserved than other guys I know. But he tries. He puts himself out there despite being a little shy.

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Rudeness. Rudeness. Rudeness. Lack of intelligence. No sense of humor. And if I’m simply not attracted to him…well, that becomes a factor as well. He doesn’t have to be hot. But if I don’t click physically with him and it’s not something I could even MAKE work, I’m sorry. It isn’t happening.

Post # 15
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? For instance, where did you meet your FIs?

Personally I think the best place to find a guy is in school or some sort of education program.  There you’ll meet someone with the same interest working towards a common goal.  You start off pretty much “working towards” something rather than trying to “SPARK” an interest!!  

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy?

Aside from good looks (obviously), he must be emotionally secure, share common values, and have a good heart. Personality matters the most, but a career/job is also very important.  Personally, no, I would not date a shy guy.

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Try to impress me by telling me he does a lot of weed or using pick up lines (trying too hard to be “cool” sums that up). Ignorance (nothing is as unsexy as chauvanism). Arrogance (seeing a guy in this role just screams insecure to me).

Post # 16
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@FutureMrsCookie:

#1. Where is a good place for a guy to meet a nice girl that’s not at a club or bar? Online dating. http://www.eharmony.com for people who are looking for relationship not “just dating” . http://www.Match.com for more casual dating. Also a good website to meet new people is http://www.meetup.com.

#2. What kind qualities do you look for in a guy?  Do looks and job matter more than personality?  Would you date a shy guy? 

The most important qualities for me are: generosity, consideration (always putting yourself in other people’s shoes), honesty, sincerity, sense of humor and believes in communication. Accept me for exactly who I am.

For me, education matters more to me than money and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

#3. When meeting a guy for the first time. what are some of the most unattractive things he has done to turn you off?

Did not treat me like a lady. Going dutch with me on a 1st date.

 

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