NWR: What's your relationship like with your mom?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2020

I don’t like much of what my mothers personality is like, we are very different but I have learned that by setting boundries we can still hang out and get along, but we will never bee best friends or have that type of close relationship. Much of it has to do with the way she raised me and her very strict cult like religion. 

Either way, she is my mom and I am thankful to be here ๐Ÿ™‚ so I do my best to understand that we are all different and I am sure I am not nearly perfect so years ago I stopped judging and longing for the beautiful mother daughter relationships other of my friends have, I simply accepted she wont be that way and that is ok. She is im sure doing the best with who she is and who am I to judge? 

I talk to my mom often on the phone, we  see each other in person about maybe 5 times to 10 a year max. We don’t fight but thats because we know what topics not to cover lol!

Post # 47
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

My mom and I are more like friends than mother daughter. She was very present in my life until end of middle school, and for career purposes, she had to move across the country for a job that she/our family couldn’t pass up. That meant that she wasn’t around as much during high school. She also didn’t reprimand me much (left to my dad), so I never harbored any resentment/never fully established that mother authority to me. But I think we both like that, because we get along very well, we’re both chill, and we trust each other a LOT. 

my mom actually has a really bad relationship with her own mom, as my grandmother was very hard on her and always yelled at her. That made it difficult for me to be close to my grandma, so we both kinda stopped talking to her. 

I’m hoping we have a daughter one day, as I would love to have a similar close relationship with our daughter. 

Post # 48
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

My mom was my best friend.  She passed away in December.

Post # 50
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@viczaes:  I’m so sorry. <3

My mom and I are exactly alike in most ways, except I am a total nerd and that is one gene I definitely did not get from her. So as long as we don’t discuss Doctor Who or Tolkien, we’re good. When my partner and I were younger the two of them actually took a while to warm up to each other (they are polar opposite personality types), which caused some tension for a while. But they get along extremely well now that we’re fully fledged adults, which is a good thing since she’s currently quarantined with both of us. 

Post # 51
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

I didn’t realize how often most of you speak w/ your moms, and now I feel like a jerk!  We talk on the phone maybe once every couple of months.  We live about 6 hours apart and see each other at family gatherings 2-3 times a year, but rarely spend any 1-on-1 time together. 

I would call her more but she’s EXTREMELY chatty so our calls take over an hour usually.  So I guess that’s why I put them off!  We are close in the fact that we get along and don’t argue, but I feel like our relationship is very “surface” level. 

I’m 38 now, but when I was in 8th grade my mom got super into church.  As a middle-schooler and high-schooler I was also very much into church, but once I became an adult and moved out on my own, it just wasn’t a priority of mine anymore.  I still believe in God but I’m not part of a specific religion.  I’m also quite liberal so we are just very different in terms of values and world views. 

So, that’s why I never try and get too deep with our conversations.  I truly am envious of you bees who say your mom is your best friend!!  I would love to have that, but I don’t expect it to happen this late in the game. My mom was also VERY strict when I was young, and because of that I hid a lot from her.  And that bled over into adulthood.  I still to this day find myself hiding little things from her, or omitting details from a story that I know she won’t approve of. (I was terrified to tell her when my then-boyfriend and I were moving in together, and I was 30 years old! And we’re married now.)

I’m not a mom myself, but I’m a step-mom.  My stepdaughter is 14 and I’ve been in her life for 10 years.  We get along better than she does with her bio mom, and she has often made comments that she wishes I was her mom. (Her mom is…difficult, to say the least.)  I am very excited to see how our relationship progresses as she becomes an adult.  I truly hope one day she considers me one of her best friends!! Something to look forward to. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 52
Member
2035 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My mom and I are closer than anyone else in each other’s lives. I confide in her for almost everything (like…I ovulated twice in a cycle once – didn’t tell my husband, but sent my mom my chart so she could help me read it lol). I love her and miss her so much; she lives in NY and I live in NC. 

Sometimes when I think about her I start crying. I live too far away to really watch her grow old. She won’t know my children as well as I would like. I would do absolutely anything to be near her again.

I call her every other day XD 

Post # 53
Member
537 posts
Busy bee

My relationship with my mom is complicated I guess… first I want to say, I love my mom to death, and I know she feels the same about me (of course) so that’s not the issue.

Whenever I hear about mother/daughter relationships that are super duper close, and they tell each other every single thing, I don’t relate.

Since I became I teenager, I’ve held my mom at arm’s length when it came to confiding in her or relying on her for emotional issues. My mom grew up Mormon, and she adhered to those beliefs most of her life. I was born in the church and raised in it until I turned 15 or 16. At that point I had a serious bf and lost my virginity, which is a big no-no in the church. I didn’t even tell my mom at the time, and I never felt like I could talk to her about those types of things. I sort of developed a secret life, which I’m sure a lot of teens do when it comes to boys and drinking and experimenting with drugs, etc.

Another reason I didn’t feel comfortable confiding in my mom is that her emotional state was pretty fragile for a big part of my life. In the last few years, she had a huge awakening when it comes to what she wants out of life, her happiness, and the way she approaches life in general. She’s become a much happier, healthier, well-adjusted individual in all areas, and it’s made me feel like I can share much more with her than I could in the past. 

However, there are still some things that I’ve never told her… I don’t know why, I guess just because I’m so much more experienced than she is when it comes to life, and I worry what she would think or that it would disappoint her in some way… it’s probably silly!

I’m 27 and a mom of two boys, almost 5 and almost 1. I love my kids more than anything in the world, they completely changed my life. I went from a wild child to an adult when my first son was born. But I worry a lot about them growing up and becoming emotionally distant from me. I know how hard it is to be a teen, and the fact that they’re boys will make them feel like they can’t talk to their mom about uncomfortable topics. But I hope that I’ll be able to show them that they can tell me anything, and that Mom is always there for them, because she’s probably been-there-done-that and then some lol

But honestly I hope my boys stay sweet and innocent and want to live with mommy forever ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 54
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2021 - Newport RI

I don’t think my mom likes me, to be honest. She might’ve, when I was younger. But now I’m just the half-white homo that comes to her family reunions. We text every day. But it’s more because she doesn’t trust me than because she wants to talk to me.  

I hope, if I ever have children, I won’t make them feel like little accolade generators who need to push themselves until they break to make me proud. 

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