NWR – What's your theory on text etiquette?

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
  • poll: What is a reasonable amount of time to answer a friend's text?
    24 hrs (1 day) max : (65 votes)
    58 %
    2 days max : (16 votes)
    14 %
    a week : (5 votes)
    4 %
    whenever I want/never : (26 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I think people know you have your phone in your hand at least once a day, so if you aren’t answering something within a 24 or 36 hour period it feels a little rude.

    As for priority, I think it has more to do with the topic of conversation than the person texting me.  If they need something, then I’ll respond more quickly than someone who’s just chatting.

    Post # 3
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee

    avprobeauty :  My family get funny with me if I read a whatsapp message and don’t immediately respond. My friends on the other hand – totally understand how busy life gets and know that I’ll reply when I can. I do, however, wind my best friends up as they are particularly rubbish at always replying to me – sometimes I phone them and check they’re alive if it’s been over a week. But I think the expectation of always replying straight away is impossible – sometimes I just totally forget until I get time in the week to reply. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2917 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    Depends, I’m in a few different group chats and it’s usually nothing that really needs a response, so I respond or chime in whenever I get around to it. Otherwise, I generally respond to all of my texts pretty quickly unless I’m doing something where I don’t have my phone. 

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    It depends who you’re talking to, how often you see them, how important your response is, etc. 

    I think for the average friendship, non-romantic, standardly-important message, a week is still acceptable. Never know when people could lose their phone or just honestly forget (humans forget things we’re only human). For a closer relationship and higher importance, less time is appropriate. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    7863 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    avprobeauty :  it depends entirely on the person and the message for me, but if it requires a response I try not to let it linger too long just so I don’t forget about it. I basically treat my texts like email since it’s all on my phone – I’ll get to it when I can and if you need something urgently call. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9664 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Within a day seems the most reasonable. Sometimes my friends don’t get back to me until a bit later than that though and I don’t really care. If something is important or urgent I don’t use text, I call.

    Post # 8
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    If you take longer than a day, I at least want acknowledgement of why it took so long. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    9588 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    avprobeauty :  for most ppl I’ll just respond right away.

    If it’s a question I need to talk to someone with before getting back to them I’ll wait till the evening.. if I won’t see/hear from whoever I’d need to check with in that time I’ll let the texter know when to expect an answer.

    If it’s someone I’m trying to distance myself from or my BEC ill purposely wait until late that evening or the next day to discourage frequent texts…. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

    Honestly, as someone who works 12 hr days I can’t always respond the same day but at least within a day I will. If someone texts me after 9pm I might not see it until 6am, I won’t text back that early because I don’t want to wake them up, then I might not have time or look at my phone again until I get home at 8pm and by then I’m busy getting dinner and going back to bed! I work 4 12’s in a row and it seems every work stretch I have people come out of the woodwork to try and get a hold of me. I do the best I can! But ya, I get back within a day unless I’m so tired that I forget, like I think I responded but then realize I don’t. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    avprobeauty :  It really depends. I am a zero inbox kind of person. I like to address things and get back to people quickly whenever possible. Sometimes, I’ll open a text and it’s not a good time to answer and it slips my mind. Typically, I try to get back to people within a few hours. My kid is probably the only person I answer immediately no matter what.

    As a texter, I don’t expect to hear back right away unless there are time-sensitive plans involved. Any time it’s really important, I call. If I am texting you and you are regularly not responding within a day or so, I’m going to see that as evidence I am not a priority and act accordingly.

    Post # 12
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Honestly, I’m the person who sees a text but doesn’t have time/can’t to respond to it right away, and then forgets about it completely. I warn my friends/family in advance so they can just call if necessary.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2019 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It varies. Random “Hey- how are you?” texts might go 24 hours, a text needing information quickly will get a response ASAP (if I know the answer) or a response to let them know when I will know the answer. My best friend and I text on and off all day, but sometimes I get tired or busy and won’t respond until the next day and I don’t think thats weird. 

    I always see texts come through on my fitbit, but unless it is important, I won’t stop what I am doing to answer (even if my phone is right next to me).

    I hate that people expect a response ASAP because they assume I always have my phone with me. Which, I do normally have my phone on me, but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop what I am doing to respond. I have noticed that when I stop responding to texts during the day, I am SO much more productive. Now, I will answer texts basically once in the morning and once in the evening and sometimes, not even that often. If it’s urgent, I will respond more quickly (or I expect a call). 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2656 posts
    Sugar bee

    There are a ton of factors at play here. 

    Who is it from? 

    What is it about? 

    Does it require an answer or is it just general conversation?

    If it requires a response, is it a one word response or a paragraph long?

    What time of day is it?  

    What am I doing when the text comes in?  

    Am I with others?

    I will typically respond pretty quickly, but sometimes if I’m busy, then it can be a few hour or even a few days because once I read it, I tend to forget about it.  I’ll scroll through my texts every week to make sure I didn’t forget to respond to anyone though and there have been times when it’s been a week before I respond.

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