- 8 years ago
Hi Hive, I’m a lurker come clean. Normally I’m pretty upbeat but I’d like to start my time on the Hive with a big question.
I think I’m being somewhat abused in my workplace (verbally/emotionally)
I work in a very small office (12 people) and everyone I work with knows one another very well both at work and outside of work. They are all friendly with one another and the second I came to work here, I have felt totally uncomfortable.
This has been going on for over 8 months, so please – don’t think I am being paranoid. I’ve had ample time for these “theories” to prove themselves correct.
I know my co workers are making jokes about me. I think its a combination of my age (everyone else is 31-52, I am 28) and the fact that I am just new, and therefore am still learning, while they have all worked here at least 7 years and know all the ins and outs. I had very poor training, and when I ask questions, I am met with rudeness, laughter, or I’m just ignored. They all text message one another to talk behind my back. Whenever I ask a question or make a mistake all you can hear all around me are the text notification sounds and snickering. Any office mistakes are pegged on “the new girl”, whether I am responsible or not, and they freely and incorrectly tell companies we are associated with that I have caused mistakes and errors to save their asses.
I work in an office where birthdays and pregnancies are celebrated – except mine. Everyone knew it was my birthday, and I didn’t get so much as a card. It’s a tough pill to swallow when everyone around you gets cake and gift cards. I thought briefly that it was an honest mistake, but when I was turning in some research papers to my boss, I noticed he had my birthday marked down on his calendar. Very unlikely it would have gone unnoticed when he looks at it every day.
Over the past few months, my coworkers have directly and indirectly (as in, behind my back but within earshot) have commented that young people do not deserve to work in our industry because we are all “ungrateful”, I cannot do math, I cannot spell, I cannot read, I cannot listen, and when I ask to use a vacation day (which I have earned plenty of) I am never allowed to because I “need to be at work that day for ____” (usually “meetings” that never happen) or I can’t because “____ already booked it off”.
I come in to work most days and say “good morning” and no one says it back to me. Piles of work get dumped on my desk so others can take extended lunch breaks or chat.
A few people here also have temper tantrums. My boss in particular tends to stomp, bang, scream and yell when he is “off”. This only adds to my tension.
I have considered going to our head office HR department but the head of HR actually used to work in this office and is close friends with one of my biggest “abusers”. I feel I’m at a dead end there.
I have always excelled at every previous job. I keep to myself but I am friendly, I am not confrontational at all. I know every place has good and bad, but this job and the people I work with have made me feel some serious insecurities and severely doubt my own worth, some days.
Any advice? Has anyone been here before?