- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2017
I’m very sorry you are going through this. It’s normal to be scared. It sounds as if he will heal though. Hugs Bee
I’m really sorry to hear your going through this, I can give you a little idea of what is like to have a concussion and it does sound Ike your husband has typical symptoms. I was in a bad car crash a few years ago and I got a bad concussion from it. The doctors didn’t seem to concerned about my symptoms which to me were overwhelming. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t think fast enough to keep up with conversations so I sat by myself in work, my short term memory was shot and if I didn’t write something down I would completely forget it which was really hard as I have a great memory usually. The worst was aphasia, I would lose words in the middle of sentences, they just weren’t there only a big block which would grind my conversation to a halt. I was so tired I sheet most weekends for months. There was a claim with the crash so I was sent to top neurologists who all said what I had was typical concussion and would resolve itself. And I’m happy to say that were right! It took about six months to feel normal again and I was so worried I’d never be able to think as well as I did but there were no permanent effects. I know this must be so frightening for you, your husband isn’t himself right now, but it’s really frightening for him too as he tries to do things he knows he should be able to do but can’t while also not being able to articulate that he can’t. His brain is bruised and will need time to heal, you will need extra time and support for yourself while this happens. Take some classes that relax you, make plans with friends for an evening while he sleeps, and don’t forget to take care of yourself.
You must be so frightened, the man you fell in love with isn’t the man you have today. I suffered a brain injury as a child, abusive childhood, but that’s another story, part of my brain died, it took several years for my brain to learn to re route the messages, but I got there within a few years, 33 years later I still suffer with short term memory loss when under pressure, it does mean I get lost lots, something we laugh about now, walk into a room what for who knows, giving guests there tea with sugar in despite asking them twice if they took sugar, remembering red snapper fish makes me sick, when I am throwing up, I can’t tell you the amount of times friends have invited me for coffee and instead of following them home, I have gone home grrr that’s embarrassing, the latest one forgetting how to crochet omg annoying, I am just a bit brain dead, that does not make me stupid. People can sometimes take a while to warm to me as I come across aloof, I’m not, I just probably don’t remember too many details of our previous conversation and I sure as hell cant remember your name, you kind of need to jog my memory and then I can repeat whole conversations word for word. Forgetting to pick my daughter up from school, frightening yes so set an alarm with a reminder of what it is you expect him to do. So it’s not apparent that I have an injury as you can’t see it, a friend said to me oh it’s like a mental illness, hump, no not really. For me it needs to be jogged gently any feeling of pressure it’s like flicking a switch … Shutdown. Despite this I have a sage accounting degree, held down a great payroll managers job, has it held me back nope I learnt real quick if it’s important write it down, I drive, own my own home, had a child, normal life, just a bit quirky sometimes, my fiancé loves it says that’s what makes me, me. Good luck the road ahead is long, but remember the man you love is in there, you just have to remind him, with your love and care. Don’t forget frightening for you, terrifying for him.
I think you need to be a bit more sympathetic. I understand it scary but it’s most likely temporary. I am really sorry you are going through this and I think talking to your counselor will help.
In sickness and in health, right?
I don’t like getting very personal on here, but I have had brain damage before. I was spacey, had trouble with words, etc. My SO would go to doctor appointments with me and would have to do most of the talking because I had such a hard time with it. He was calm and supportive and encouraging. I got so much better, but it takes time. I’m still the same person and can function fine, though I can still be spacey sometimes, but usually that happens only if I am not sleeping or eating enough or if I’m really stressed.
It is really important that you stay calm for your husband and optimistic. Just hold his hand when you watch TV together. Ask him if he needs anything. Tell him you love him and that he will be okay. And try not to worry or panic. Distract yourself with reading, TV, hobbies, anything. Stay busy and wear yourself out with exercise. The most important thing, in my opinion, to heal from a brain injury is to not be stressed. Comfort him, support him, and take care of yourself. Just accept the situation, and take one day at a time. I hope he gets better soon!
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