(Closed) NWR: Would you ever spank your kid?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is spanking ever ok?

    Yes, under any circumstance.

    Yes, under EXTREME circumstances (what do you consider "extreme"?)

    Never

    Other, please explain

  • Post # 17
    Member
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I voted never because I don’t really see how using any kind of violence against a child is teaching them to be a good non-violent person when they grow up…. but after reading some of the responses I guess I can see why, maybe, when they are too young to understand words it might be necessary in a very controlled manner to prevent them from doing something dangerous. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    9024 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i will spank in situations when it is needed, but i agree that it shouldnt be done in anger and can easily get out of hand 

    Post # 19
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I was spanked when I misbehaved, which wasn’t often.  And it was always a quick swat on the bottom (flat of the hand, over pants).  It was very efficient with me.  My guy was spanked as a kid.  More than a quick swat.  It was the only thing that got through to him (he was the sort of kid who climbed onto the roof at the age of five.)

    Post # 20
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @missjyc: okay the punishment your mom used on you guys is pretty clever. Sitting here thinking about having to do that sucks haha!

     

    My parent’s spanked me, their parent’s spanked them and we are fine. Not you know a full on hit but a swat

    Post # 21
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    I just have to ask (since I don’t have kids and aren’t around them a lot), but even if they don’t understand words, why does spanking have to be used?  Couldn’t you isolate the child from what it’s doing or firmly hold the child’s hand from doing what they aren’t supposed to?

    Post # 23
    Member
    5493 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I was spanked a few times when I was a kid and I remember being terrified.  It did not make me learn my lesson or obey.  It just made me scared.  I would almost immediately go and do something bad to get back at my parents, (like pouring out my mom’s perfume or putting lotion in my dad’s shampoo bottle.  So bottom line, no I did not learn my lesson.  I use time outs to discipline my cat and I have to say it works very well.  If a cat can get the message, i’m sure a child can as well.  FI and I have agreed there will be no spanking under any circumstances.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @Meowkers:  I use timeouts for my cats, one has gotten in trouble a lot and she has learned when I say “Go to your cage,” she goes immediately.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @beekiss2: with my toddler when she was doing things she shouldn’t we would flick her hand (obviously not hard)  but that worked pretty good and we taught her to say “no thank you” if she was frustrated at a situation. But honestly at times, sometimes kids do just need a swat on the bottom to straighten up

    Post # 26
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I am an educator, and believe that corporal punishment is an appropriate form of discipline.  I don’t mean beating, but a quick swat on a child’s fanny gives a child a message that all the time outs and all the lectures in the world do not do.  The swat says I will not tolerate inappropriate behavior, while the time out/grounding/lecture method says you did something wrong and you will “pay” for that behavior with time.  The child isn’t learning that the misbehavior is not acceptable, but rather that it has a cost…  I was swatted on occasion as a child, and it did not cause me a hardship.  I also know that students who know that there is a physical consequence for their misbehavior, are least likely to be a discipline problem.  If you are wishy washy in your discipline, kids will recognize that and they try to get away with more.  I think that schools are paying dramatically for the lack of discipline because of fear of a lawyer, rather than the fear that a kid will be hurt or choose to harm others because nothing more can be done to them than a time out…  A good swat applied appropriately can teach your child that you love them enough to discipline!

    Post # 28
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @missfireslayer:  Thanks for sharing.  Yeah, I wouldn’t be opposed to a flick or slap on the hand.

    Post # 29
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted nerver.

    Never under any circumstance whould I spank my child. I think it sets an inappropriate precedent for parents and doesn’t solve anything that couldn’t be solved through perfectly civil techniques. I was never spanked, and even when I did something “bad” my mom had ways of making me understand what was inappropriate. On top of that, I just couldn’t bring MYSELF to hit a child.

    Post # 30
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Being a former teacher I can tell you that the students who were spanked at home were MUCH better behaved.

    I personally was spanked on the rare occasion, and I think it worked well for us.  My parents also used “punishment to fit the crime” kind of discipline. 

    For Example:  If we left dirty dishes out then we had to wash ALL of the dishes.

    We hated it!  Thus, it worked!  lol 

    Post # 31
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee

    This is illegal in my country, it’s considered child abuse. I’d have to agree.

    Interesting how many of you say that you were spanked and you turned out fine, do you knwo that is a popular argument for physical abuse among parents in court? Hitting is hitting.  A differernt name for the act does not change the act.

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