(Closed) NWR: Would you ever spank your kid?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is spanking ever ok?

    Yes, under any circumstance.

    Yes, under EXTREME circumstances (what do you consider "extreme"?)

    Never

    Other, please explain

  • Post # 32
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    I guess my next question (sorry to hog the thread, OP) is the people that say Never, not parents yet and so they’ll change their minds once they become parents?  or should I say, have any parents NOT used corporal punishment with their children? or were any of us raised without corporal punishment?

    EDIT: I think I’m going to move my question to a new thread.

    Post # 33
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m fine with spanking. If I did anything wrong, drawing on walls, destroying clothes, acting up in church and so on, I got my butt torn up. Bare bottomed, over the knee, in front of everybody.

    I turned out just fine, and I never had to be spanked much as a child. I think I got my last spanking when I was… 8? Getting a spanking got the point across a lot faster I think.

    A friend of mine won’t spank her child, and if you try to tell him no, he just laughs at you and goes right on doing it, because all he will have to do is sit in a corner for 10 minutes.

    So, from my own experience and seeing how “effective” time outs and saying no are, I’ll be spanking mine, if I have any.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    View original reply
    @beekiss2: I was raised without it, but my mom yelled at me a lot. A LOT. Like a pencil on my floor meant “a tornado blew through here! This place is disgusting!” All it did was make me resentful and bitter, and when I became a teenager we had it out all the time. I dont remember much from when I was little, but I know I wasn’t spanked.

    I am not against it. I will find any means I can to avoid it, but sometimes there appears to be no other option. Like PPs have said, it would be just a smack and through clothes just to give them a jolt. I felt more demeaned and angry and rebellious when I was being yelled at, I probably would have responded more to a quick spanking.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @beekiss2:  I believe it’s about repercussions.  Isolating a child or pulling them away from a situation does not, in my mind, convey the immediacy or danger of a dangerous situation.   

    I definitely see 

    View original reply
    @Missbliss‘s point.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1937 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I really think that the punishment should be based on the child’s age, personality, siutation, etc.  Growing up, there were a variety of disciple methods used (standing in the corner, soap in the mouth for talking back, the occasional spank, etc).  For me, I was always the most affected when my parents stated their disappointment in me.  That was so much more effective at changing my behavior than spaking me.  Basically, I do not condone beating a child EVER, but an occassional spank may be warranted, however, it is not necessarily the most effective punishment if you are trying to change behavior (once again, depending on age, personality, etc).

    Post # 37
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Fiance and I have agreed to never spank. Even if it’s “just a swat” it’s still hitting. It’s still a form of physical violence. I also don’t think it’s fair to create a double standard for accepable behavior based on authority.

    As a kid, I was spanked and hit, with both hands and objects. It was horrible. I may have turned out okay, but I would never do the same to my children. Fiance was never spanked. His mother a childhood education professional and she did not believe that spanking was a necessary form of discipline.

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    View original reply
    @wellykiwi: I absolutely agree, thanks for pointing that out. I turned out fine DESPITE being hit, not because of it.

    Post # 40
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @arenyth:  Yeah, my sister and I got yelled at a lot and it was ineffective.  I’m still angry and bitter about the entire thing and it’s been years.  So yelling isn’t an option for me either.

    View original reply
    @MsGolightly:  I’ve heard about parents spanking when it’s a potentially life threatening situation if they chose to do the same thing over again.  For example, running into a road–spanking teaches them immediately.  Although, my grandmother was pretty effective about teaching my sister and me not to run into the road before we even tried it–she told us we’d end up smashed like pancakes so for a 4 year old, we could visualize that.

    Post # 41
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @jayce:  Yeah, I was hit/spanked with objects too and I wouldn’t subject my future children to that either.  If I found out a friend or family member was doing it, I’d tell them to stop and if they continued, I’d report them.  With strangers, I’d report them as well.  Objects like belts, rods, horse crops, etc should not be used, ever, and I equate that to abuse.

    Post # 42
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I got spanked with a belt, and I never felt abused. I still love my dad and my mom, and I imagine that I would have a very comfortable relationship with my father if he were still alive.

    I personally don’t think badly of them for it.

    To me, spanking doesn’t constitute child abuse, but I’ve only lived with a cop for 10 years, what would I know about the law?

    Post # 43
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    View original reply
    @Meowkers: I totally agree with you. I remember trying to ‘get back’ at my parents as well.  Being hit just made me angry.

    I posted a longer response to this in the other thread.  In short, I was hit by my father (not my mother) as a form of punishment, and it was extremely ineffective.  It made me hate him and lose respect for him.  I know plenty of people who turned out to be wonderful children and later, adults, but whose parents never laid a hand on them in violence.  The vast majority of pediatric and child psychology associations take stances against the use of corporal punishment on children in any situation.  In light of all this, I will never hit my children.

    Post # 44
    Member
    594 posts
    Busy bee

    Spanking is abuse. It is using pain to teach a point. And you are teaching your children that abuse is okay if there is a good enough reason behind it. There is no reason to ever hit a child.

    Post # 45
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @Winter12:  I don’t know how to respond to that.  Only that a lot of people and the law in many countries (many are in Europe) would disagree with you.

    Post # 46
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I still don’t get it. Popping is not beating the life out of. There is a difference in abusing a child and discipline.

    Some people do take it too far, but unless you leave bruises or conduct SERIOUS bodily/amotional harm, it’s not exactly abuse. And I don’t mean emotional abuse as in your kids hate your for a second, because I recall hating my parents a good bit, and I remember my parents telling me about hating their parents. you kids will hate you at some point regardless.

    My stepdad has been a cop for 26 years, and has never taken anyone to jail for spanking a child. For actually beating a child, yes, but not popping them.

    The topic ‘NWR: Would you ever spank your kid?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors