(Closed) NWR: Would you ever spank your kid?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is spanking ever ok?
    Yes, under any circumstance. : (72 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, under EXTREME circumstances (what do you consider "extreme"?) : (118 votes)
    44 %
    Never : (61 votes)
    23 %
    Other, please explain : (18 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @veganglam:the open hand vs object thing for me is because i think its too easy to lose control when you aren’t feeling what the kid is. if a spank hurts your hand, its too much.

    Post # 78
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @UpstateCait: I’m used to be a preschool teacher, and I have a very strong opinion of this. I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER…spank my kids. There are so many better ways to handle misbehavior, but often parents spank kids because they don’t have the time or patience into doing it any other way.

    Think about it this way: If your kid spanked someone else because they didn’t like the way that they were behaving, would you tell them that it’s not okay to do so? Chances are, you would. So then how do you justify hitting (spanking) them when they are misbehaving?

    For the record, my parents did spank my when I was a kid, sometimes with a belt. I think they regret it now, though.

    Post # 79
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would under CERTAIN circumstances… It wasn’t an option.

    Post # 80
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @beekiss2:not at all crazy. i swear my cat cried tears today when i dropped him off at the vet! they are definitely emotional creatures.

    Post # 81
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Personally, I would never spank my kid, ever. I vaguely recall being spanked with a hairbrush once in my life (my mom claims she does not even remember it) when I was about 5 and was found cutting my hair off with scissors. I would prefer to find alternate, non physicial ways to discipline my children, because I believe that using physical force teaches kids this is OK. And, I don´t think I could stomach doing so.

    That being said, my Fiance and his brothers were all spanked growing up, and his two brothers spank their kids. I think they got spanked with belts, too. My Fiance turned out fine and doesn´t have a violent bone in his body, but when we first talked about spanking, I could see he was open to it. I made it very clear I did not agree with it and explain why. I am not sure if I convinced him, but I think I made a good case for it. I just hope it isn´t an issue down the road.

    Post # 82
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Never.  Never ever.  Spanking is abuse no matter which way you slice it, in my opinion.  110 peer reviewed studies have found that spanking leads to worse behavior, not better, according to a study from the University of New Hampshire sociology department.

    Honestly, I think spanking is lazy parenting.  Other methods of disciplining your children are harder and more complicated and they don’t provide the kind of immediate satisfaction of a spanking.  But please, please consider something else.  I absolutely do not buy the argument that you have to spank children because it’s all they’ll understand.  I and many of my friends were extraordinarily well behaved–we had our moments, but in general we respected our parents and they gave us freedoms appropriate to our age.  Our parents never spanked us, because they didn’t have to spank us to get us to do what they wanted.  My parents respected me, so I trusted and respected them.  Spanking your child breaks the trust and shows that you do not respect them as a person–and no matter how young they are, that’s important.

    Toronto says it better than I could:

    http://www.toronto.ca/health/children/discipline.htm

    And here’s the link to the story about the study:

    http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9708/14/nfm.spanking/

    I don’t think people who spank are bad parents.  I do think they’re misinformed.

    Post # 83
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @meliss:  I’m around my cats a lot during the day, so I can catch them doing something pretty quickly.

    Post # 84
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @mrsmdphd:  Thanks for the resources.  I think it would be a great idea to start a thread asking about effective ways (not spanking) on how to parent.

    Post # 85
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

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    @beekiss2: Are you kidding?  Of course your cats have feelings.  I could write a book about all the things I’ve done for which my cats have cast me dirty looks all the way to shunned me (for example, having her spayed, or leaving him alone in the same cage at the boarding facility as his evil sister for a week while I was on vacation).  

    Post # 86
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Is the poll asking “would I ever spank my kids?” or is the poll asking “is it ever okay to spank kids?”

     

    Post # 87
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @retsud:  Yeah, my oldest was once boarded at a vet’s office and when I got her back, she was completely different (personality-wise) and she was legitimately upset.

    Post # 88
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @veganglam: Totally off topic. I think about this, if my cats have feelings and I have the reasoning to know this, then shouldn’t I be a vegan or atleast a vegetarian b/c the animals that are being slaughtered also have feelings?

    Post # 89
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    One more 2 cents Wink

    I think spanking as discipline isn’t abuse, but is playing with fire. It’s all about intent.

    The notion that pain is not a humane consequence denies reality. If you weren’t there to stop your kid from running in the street, playing with matches, pulling the cats tail, etc., etc., etc., the consequence would be pain. And our brains are programmed to remember painful events more vividly – to teach us not to do it again. I think its especially difficult to teach a very young child that what they are doing could hurt them. That’s why I don’t completely rule out corporal punishment.

    Post # 90
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

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    @mrsmdphd: Thanks for posting those sources.  I have read so many reports from studies and the like on this topic in attempt to bolster my arguments against corporal punishment when arguing over this with Fiance.  But I never bookmarked any of them, because I’m dumb. 

    View original reply
    @beekiss2: I totally agree; that’s one of the many, many reasons why I’m a vegan. That and a run-in with a ridiculously affectionate cow when I was 8. ;P

    Post # 91
    Member
    3525 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

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