(Closed) NWR: Would you ever spank your kid?

posted 10 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is spanking ever ok?

    Yes, under any circumstance.

    Yes, under EXTREME circumstances (what do you consider "extreme"?)

    Never

    Other, please explain

  • Post # 92
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @beekiss2:maybe, but i don’t love them Laughing You could always reason about all those folks on death row with feelings, hitler had feelings too…

    don’t hate me, law school twists a mind!

    Post # 93
    Member
    3613 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

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    @veganglam: ITA cats have feelings too! The reason I have no authority with my cats is I’m so afraid of making them sad I let them get away with everything. Even though I’m oppsed to spanking, I intend to be more of a disciplinarian with my future kid 🙂 It’s just that animals are so innocent and they don’t understand they’re doing something wrong, whereas kids do.

    Post # 94
    Member
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

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    @mrsmdphd: Sorry, I was never a lazy parent, Never!

    Post # 95
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @Winter12:

    The whole basis of your argument seems to be “Spanking is necessary because time outs don’t work. Time outs don’t work because I’ve never seen them work.”

    I have seen time outs work effectively. There are right and wrong ways of doing it. You don’t do timeouts in a room full of toys, for one. Nor does it work instantly. Effective, non-violent discipline takes a lot of effort and consistency, and sadly some parents just can’t be bothered.

     

    Post # 96
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    It is easy to say you will NEVER do something until you are in the situation.

    Post # 97
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @meliss:maybe i have bad cats, but they totally know when they do something wrong.

    Case-in-point: my cat, who has always been litter trained, once pooped on my roommates computer chair (was a computer geek, always playing rpgs) after the roommate yelled at him.

    Also, if the cat is angry with me (i dont get up early enough to feed him, etc.), he tears up any papers he can find. always seems to be important papers, but i’ll chalk that up to coincidence! When I see it, he immediately runs or sulks away.

    Post # 98
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

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    @mrsmdphd: My parents were far from lazy.

    And in a way, it does sound like parents who spank their kids are bad parents, because they’re lazy. Which is absurd.

    Anyway, I stand by my point that there is a difference in being spanked and recieving a beating. And that spanking is sometimes ok. I guess I’ll just be one of those lazy parents.

    Post # 99
    Member
    2857 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

    I don’t think I’ll ever spank my kids (if we decide to have them) but I might give one of them a little swat on the butt if necessary.

    Post # 100
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

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    @jayce: That is not the basis of my arguement. It is a statement I made based on my experience with children. I didn’t say it never worked for anybody. It just has yet to prove itself as a more effective method than the occasional spanking, to me.

    Post # 101
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @mrsmdphd: Thans for those links. That first one is terrific, and really echoes what many of us already know instinctively from being spanked as children.

    Post # 102
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @retsud:  I don’t believe in the death sentence since we have a prison capable of keeping them locked up indefinitely (which isn’t really pertininent to this thread.)  But I love my cats, oh that I do.  They’ve brought me so much joy, truly therapeutic as well as companionship. 

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    @meliss: I understand 😉

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    @veganglam: One of my friends is a vegan and I’ve been discussing going that route for awhile.  Cows can be affectionate, I’ve known both mean and sweet cows (but it’s saddening that I knew what they were ‘meant’ for).

    Post # 103
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

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    @missfireslayer: Yeah, you’re right.  Because I’m a fallible human being, I might get really angry at my kid one day and hit him or her (for the first half of my life, I often hit my friends when they really pissed me off, because it’s what I’d grown up with.  Then I realized how terrible and anti-social a behavior it was, and I made a very concerted effort to stop.  But I was hit in my most formative years and I don’t doubt that the idea of appropriate response to anger=hitting still lingers with me somewhere).  But I’m going to hate myself for it, because I know how the effect it had on me, and I never want my kid to regard me in the same way I regarded my father.  Assuming I haven’t gone off the deep end, I hope my immediate reaction will be to apologize to my child for lashing out at them in that way, then explain to them what they did was wrong, and then utilize some effective, non-violent form of discipline.  There are SO. MANY.  I don’t care how much of a living terror my child is (although, if he’s that bad, I’m definitely going to question my own parenting skills to some large extent), I will never default on physical punishment.  I don’t have kids right now, but it’s like, you say you will never become a murder and just know you won’t, even in very extreme circumstances, because you find it extremely detestable in thought, right?  I feel very strongly about this in the same way.  Perhaps not as strongly as you feel about not becoming a murderer, but it’s the same principle.

    Post # 104
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @retsud:  One of my cats gets angry, she’ll accidentally “miss” the litterbox by a couple of feet. 

    Post # 105
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @veganglam:  I completely agree.  Just because you accidentally do something, doesn’t mean you should continue doing it “because it worked once.” I plan on apologizing, telling my child what I did wrong, and then continuing with the nonviolent punishment.

    Post # 106
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee

    I do not have kids, so I can only speak from my experience growing up. My dad only spanked me once from what I remember and it was for lying. I was probably 7, and I WILL NOT FORGET IT! It definitely made an impression on me, and I believe in a good way.

    My mom smacked me once as a teenager when I was being a complete drama queen and said some really awful things to her. She lost it, and being in her shoes, I would have done the exact same thing. I was a pain in the ass. I know she felt terrible afterwards.

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